- Cleveland Brown: I don't know why people like Choni's party better than mine. All she had was a much bigger TV, better food, probably had that sweet rice milk drink... what's that called again, Donna?
- Donna Tubbs: Horchata.
- Cleveland Brown: You know what I do when I don't know something, Donna? I say, "I don't know."
- Donna Tubbs: [after hearing a loud noise] Oh, my God! Is that the Rapture?
- Cleveland Brown: No. Rehearsal of the Blue Angel flyover. They protect nothing.
- Choni: Cleveland, I see what's going on here. I've dealt with your type my whole life. Back in Fort Lauderdale, when I came out of the ocean, they accused me of sneaking into the country, but I was just boogieboarding on an old door.
- Cleveland Brown: Probably wearing jeans.
- Choni: And now you called the police because you saw a Latina going into a window and you automatically assumed I was a criminal!
- Cleveland Brown: Look, Choni, it was dark. I thought you were a male Latino.
- Choni: Why are you doing that with your "N"?
- Cleveland Brown: I don't know.
- Choni: [to Cleveland] You tried to get my niece deported, you called the cops on me, you assume I own a Chihuahua and have tortillas for bandages. You're racist.
- Cleveland Brown: Oh, Choni, black people can't be racist. Listen to you, talking nonsense like some oily Polynesian.
- Wally Farquhare: [to Cleveland Jr] Congratulations on your sexless marriage, Junior.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: And you on your sexless life, sir.
- Tim the Bear: [to Cleveland] It's not so much that you're racist, you're what I like to call "Arizona ignorant."
- Choni: [to Cleveland] Well, I suppose if I can teach a dog to cook and that dog can teach a boy to dance, I can teach you about Latino culture.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: [to Tyler] Hey, slick. Talk to you for a minute?
- Tyler Hudson: Oh, hey, Junior. Man, thanks for hooking me up with Cecilia. She's great.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: I know, I know, she is great. That's why I married her.
- [gets a hold of Tyler]
- Tyler Hudson: Hey, Junior, that kind of hurts.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: Yeah, turns out you know what else hurts? Watching your wife kiss some huckleberry in a jean jacket.
- Tyler Hudson: Whoa! Junior, I don't understand. You're the one that told me to take her out.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: And now I'm telling you that you might not want to show up. You know, Tyler, yearbook photos are coming up. Shame if something happened to this pretty face of yours. Real shame. Ooh, the Bookmobile's coming! I'm gonna get me a sticker with an apple on it and a worm in a professor's hat!
- Choni: [to Cleveland] Oh, you're watching "Esteban y Los Amores de Esteban."
- Cleveland Brown: Don't spoil anything. I'm only 119 episodes in.
- Maya Angelou: [to Cleveland Jr] Excuse me, I'm notable African- American poet Maya Angelou. Are you going to finish that corn dog?
- Choni: Cleveland, I don't care what color you are. I just don't like you.
- Cleveland Brown: You know what? I don't like you either and it's not because you're Mexican. It's partially because you're a woman, but it's mainly because you won't cut me any slack. Yes, I was ignorant about your culture, but I am not a racist.
- Choni: Maybe I've been too hard on you. Maybe you're not a racist dick. Maybe you're just a dick.