Family Guy (TV Series)

Foreign Affairs (2011)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bonnie Swanson : You ready to go, Lois?

  Lois Griffin : I sure am. Oh, my God, Bonnie, we're gonna have such a good time.

  Bonnie Swanson : I know, and it's gonna be so much fun going with you. Joe hates to fly, 'cause they always put him underneath with the dogs.

  [cut to a plane's cargo hold, where Joe sits in a pet carrier, surrounded by incessantly barking dogs in their own pet carriers] 

  Joe Swanson : Indonesia better be worth it.

• Lois Griffin : I just can't believe you'd throw away all those years with Joe just to have some silly fling.

  Bonnie Swanson : I'm not throwing anything away. Joe and I have been growing apart for a long time. Besides, we've had a good run. We've been married for 80 years.

  Lois Griffin : You what?

  Bonnie Swanson : Well, that's in married-to-a-handicapped-guy years.

• Lois Griffin : Ah, you know, this is how you take a vacation. Oh, Bonnie, would you look at that? I've never seen anything like that before; a croissant with almonds on it.

  [to the server] 

  Lois Griffin : And, and could you bring me a beer? Oh, I feel so elegant. What are you gonna have?

  Bonnie Swanson : You know what I'd really like?

  [an attractive Frenchman walks by] 

  Bonnie Swanson : A piece of that.

  Lois Griffin : Bonnie, for God's sake, stop it.

  Bonnie Swanson : Lois, I already told you, I'm in Paris to have an affair. I'll even do a Muslim if I have to.

• Lois Griffin : Okay, bye, everyone. Kids, you mind your father while I'm gone. Love you.

  Meg Griffin : Bye, Mom.

  Chris Griffin : Bye!

  Lois Griffin : Oh, Peter, I almost forgot. Here's some money for groceries and a list of the kids' schedules.

  Stewie Griffin : The fat man in charge for a week? He's gonna be in over his head. Like when he was a boxing coach.

  Peter Griffin : [cut to him as a boxing corner man]  Punch him! Punch him again! Punch him! Punch him now! Again! Now you're getting punched! Punch back! Don't let him hit you! Get out of the way! Punch him!

  [the bell signaling the end of the round rings] 

  Peter Griffin : You know what I'm gonna tell you. You gotta punch him more.

• Lois Griffin : All right, I've got our whole day planned. First, we'll go to the Louvre. Then we'll go shopping along the Champs-Élysées.

  Bonnie Swanson : Uh, Lois, I should probably tell you I didn't come all the way here to go to museums and shops.

  Lois Griffin : Well, I-I don't understand. Why'd you even want to come here, then?

  Bonnie Swanson : Lois, I came here to have an affair.

  Lois Griffin : An affair? With who?

  Bonnie Swanson : Anyone.

  Lois Griffin : My God. Well, can we at least do some Muppet-style sightseeing first?

• Bonnie Swanson : Paris is so incredible. I can't believe we're really here.

  Lois Griffin : I know.

  [going out to the balcony of their hotel room] 

  Lois Griffin : Look at all the people on the street. Not a lot of people of color here, but the ones that are black are *really* black.

• Lois Griffin : All right, I'm off to Paris. You guys gonna be okay without me for a week?

  Stewie Griffin : Ugh, I don't know. I mean, who's gonna put those three magazines in a neat stack on the coffee table?

  Peter Griffin : Lois, I realize you're excited about going away with Bonnie and all, but could I... could I not have to hear about the trip when you get back? I-I just... I know you're gonna have pictures and stories, and I-I just... I-I-I just don't want to be involved in any of that mess.