The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Roommate Transmogrification (2011)
Kunal Nayyar: Raj Koothrappali
Photos
Quotes
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Penny : What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon Cooper : Same thing that happened to Homo erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj Koothrappali : I'm the new Homo in town!
[pause]
Raj Koothrappali : That came out wrong.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What are you doing here?
Raj Koothrappali : I was sleeping.
Leonard Hofstadter : In my bed?
Raj Koothrappali : Well, I would sleep in my own bed, except it's being used to bring shame to my family. And the memory of Gene Roddenberry.
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Sheldon Cooper : The apartment has three emergency exits located here, here, and here. In the event of a power outage, luminescent paint will guide you to the nearest exit.
Raj Koothrappali : You're kidding.
[Sheldon turns off the lights, revealing glowing arrows on the floor]
Sheldon Cooper : I never kid about safety.
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Penny : Can I tell you a secret?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.
Penny : I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.
Raj Koothrappali : Well er, to paraphrase Shakespeare - It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.
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Raj Koothrappali : What's wrong with me, Penny?
Penny : Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
Raj Koothrappali : Hey, you totally got that right! E equals M C squared.
Penny : I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Do you really think you should be eating that cake?
Howard Wolowitz : Why?
Leonard Hofstadter : If you're gonna be a trophy husband for a rich wife, you might want to watch your waistline.
Raj Koothrappali : He's right. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Does Sheldon know you're sleeping in here?
Raj Koothrappali : Are you kidding? He made me sign a waiver, participate in an emergency fire drill, and take a refresher course in CPR. Thank God he had a dummy.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh yeah, Mouth-to-Mouth Mona. You know she used to date Howard?
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Raj Koothrappali : Leonard's having astronomically inaccurate Star Trek sex with my sister.
Sheldon Cooper : I can see how that would be upsetting. Come in.
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Howard Wolowitz : What's up?
Raj Koothrappali : Leonard's putting disgusting memories in my memory-foam mattress. Can I stay here tonight?