The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Roommate Transmogrification (2011)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : What happened to Leonard?

  Sheldon Cooper : Same thing that happened to Homo erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.

  Raj Koothrappali : I'm the new Homo in town!

  [pause] 

  Raj Koothrappali : That came out wrong.

• Sheldon Cooper : Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? A hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.

  Penny : Monkeys!

  Sheldon Cooper : When does a monkey have a trunk?

  Penny : When a suitcase just won't do.

  [Penny and Raj laugh] 

  Sheldon Cooper : All right. It would appear as if alcohol is playing keep-away with your intelligence.

• [Bernadette is getting her Ph.D] 

  Penny : Wow! So that means you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor... and Howard, you know a lot of doctors!

• Penny : Can I tell you a secret?

  Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.

  Penny : I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.

  Raj Koothrappali : Well er, to paraphrase Shakespeare - It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.

• Raj Koothrappali : What's wrong with me, Penny?

  Penny : Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.

  Raj Koothrappali : Hey, you totally got that right! E equals M C squared.

  Penny : I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.

• [first lines] 

  Penny : Hi, you guys ready to order?

  Sheldon Cooper : [the gang mutters consent]  Sure.

  Penny : 'Kay. Priya?

  Priya Koothrappali : I'll have the Shepherd's pie.

  [to Leonard] 

  Priya Koothrappali : You want to split that with me?

  Penny : Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't.

  Priya Koothrappali : Why not?

  Penny : Well, you know, milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, parmesan crust... your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas-filled Macy's day balloon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Not quite accurate. Macy's balloons are filled with helium, whereas Leonard produces copious amounts of methane.

• Penny : [to Raj after Leonard leaves]  Explain something to me. You watched Leonard put up with that guy for years and years. What has to break inside your brain for you to think: "Oh, Krishna, I've got to get me some of that?".

• [last lines] 

  Penny : [after Penny drunkenly sleeps with Raj, she tries to sneak out, but is finds Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard in the living room]  Damn.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What is going on?

  Penny : [laughing nervously]  Oh, it's, it's not what it looks like.

  [embarrassed, Penny quickly leaves] 

  Sheldon Cooper : What does it look like?

• Penny : Hey Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, it's "pennygetyourownwifi", no spaces.