Penguins of Madagascar (2014)

John Malkovich: Dave

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dave : Charlize, they're on the ray! Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!

• Dave : Nicolas! Cage them!

• Skipper : Debbie!

  Kowalski : Dave.

  Skipper : Dave!

  Corporal : He hacked into our system.

  [There's no sound onscreen as Dave speaks] 

  Eva : Where's the sound?

  Kowalski : Dave, your microphone, it's not on.

  Classified : Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.

  Short Fuse : Every time a villain calls in, this happens.

  Dave : Hello?

  [the screen goes off] 

  Dave : Hello?

  Kowalski : But, now we can hear you.

  Short Fuse : So annoying!

  Kowalski : But we cannot see.

  Short Fuse : Every time!

  Classified : It's like talking to my parents.

• Dave : Drew! Barry! More power!

• Dave : [holding a microphone]  I'M HAPPY! And yet...

  [realizes his revenge succeeded] 

  Dave : Now, that I have my revenge, I feel... empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, Robin, write this down. Tomorrow, we move on: Kittens, then Puppies, Bunnies, Pandas...

  [he sees the Penguins' using his ray, gasping, then is angry] 

  Dave : [talking to his minions on the microphone]  Charlize, they're on the ray!

  [he runs and rips off his human disguise] 

  Dave : Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!

• Dave : The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my BURNING thirst for revenge...

  [Skipper and Kowalski are confused] 

  Dave : ...and my precious souvenir snow globe collection.

  [sees Rico swallowing all of his snow globes] 

  Dave : [groans]  What is WRONG with you?

  Rico : [mumbles]  I dunno.

• [as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private] 

  Kowalski : You're the monster!

  Dave : [angrily]  Yes! I'm the monster. Everyone made that clear to me every day in my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves YOU when YOU'RE the monster!

• Dave : Elijah, would you please take them away!

• Skipper : [Dave drops from the ceiling in human disguise]  Who are you?

  Dave : The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine, renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives... but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hoped you'd never hear again. A PHANTOM! A shadow of a former life! I... AM...

  [rips off disguise, but wig remains on his head] 

  Dave : Dave!

  Skipper : [Whispers]  Kowalski?

  Kowalski : [Whispers back]  Sorry, sir, no clue.

  Dave : [Looks up, sees the wig on his head, and pulls it off]  Dave!

  Skipper : Dave?

  Kowalski : Dave...?

  Dave : Dave!

  Private : [Smiles]  Dave!

  Dave : [Annoyed]  DA-VUH!

  Rico : [Rolls his eyes]  Bleh.

• Dave : [fixes the video connection]  How about now?

  Private : Hurray!

  Classified : Yes! Way to go, looks fantastic!

  Dave : Excellent! Now, where was I?

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Kowalski : Dave!

  Short Fuse : Grrrr!

  Dave : Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo-mates.

  Skipper : We were never "mates." There was no mating.

  Classified : Turn yourself in, David. You are powerless now that I have stolen your precious Medusa Serum.

  Skipper : What? You didn't steal that!

  Classified : It's over.

  Dave : It's over?

  [mock-confusion] 

  Dave : Then... why did I call you? Wierd. OH! Maybe it was to show you *this*!

  [turns camera to reveal a large vat of Medusa Serum] 

  Kowalski : [collective gasp from everyone]  That is a lot of serum for four penguins.

  Dave : Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No, no-no-no-no. We're just getting started.

  [takes a selfie] 

  Dave : Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... FOR REVENGE!

  [hits button, buzzer sounds. hits button again, same result] 

  Dave : Wait. How do you...?

  Squid : [gurgles instructions] 

  Dave : What do I push?

  Squid : [points and gurgles] 

  Dave : Is it the red, or...

  Squid 2 : [points, gurgles, and slaps own head in frustration] 

  Dave : I thought it was... it's not this -

  [screen goes black] 

• Dave : Parker! Posey! Go all terrain!

• [after the battle, Dave is revealed made cute by the ray, shrunk and trapped inside a snow globe] 

  Dave : What? Are you kidding me?

  [the snow globe falls from the duct tape, Skipper catches him] 

  Skipper : Dave. Oh-ho, look at you.

  Dave : You think this is over? I'm just getting started! I'm about...

  Kowalski : What do we do with him now?

  [Rico attempts to swallow the snow globe, but Skipper pulls it away] 

  Girl with Snow Globe : Aww...

  Dave : [to the Penguins]  Open this right now!

  Skipper : Here you go, kid.

  [Skipper tosses the snow globe to the girl, Dave looks at her] 

  Girl with Snow Globe : Cool.

  [the girl sets a finger on the snow globe's glass. Dave puts a tentacle in the same spot and smiles] 

  Skipper : I hope you find happiness, Dave.

  [the girl begins to shake the snow globe hard] 

  Girl with Snow Globe : It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing!

  [She runs off shaking the snow globe with Dave whimpering, much to the surprise of the Penguins and the North Wind]