User Reviews

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is set in the small town of Seaside Heights on the Jersey Shore where Italian Guido TC (Jeremy Luke) & his mates live & hang out, while having a fight with Bradford (Grant Harvey) & some rich preppy boy friends from the local yachting club. A Guido named JP (Ben Giroux) is chased & jumps into the Ocean where Bradford & his friend leave him, suddenly JP is attacked from below the surface by a vicious white skinned, red eyed albino Shark & killed. Most of us wouldn't be to bothered but TC & his mates are genuinely upset, TC believes that something in the water attacked JP & sets out to prove it to his father who happens to be the Sheriff in Seaside Heights. While performing an open air concert ex N-Sync boy-band member Joey Fatone is eaten by a flying Shark, the wider community now has to believe TC. As the bodies mount up it's up to TC & his Guido companions to save the day & prevent a bloodbath...

Directed by John Sheppird this made for television comedy horror spoof premiered on the SyFy Channel both here in the UK & the US before hitting the shops on DVD & Blu-ray, I deliberately described Jersey Shore Shark Attack as a comedy spoof horror although thinking about it I might just have given it far too much credit & in fact it's an absolute shambles of a film but surely no-one could make a film this outrageously bad on purpose could they? Obviously a tongue in cheek light hearted attempt to combine the cheap Sy Fy Channel creature feature with the successful reality based Jersey Shore (2009) television series that follows a group of twenty something's around, right now I will admit that I hate these fly on the wall reality television show's so I have not seen a single second of the awful sounding Jersey Shore series but I have seen what seems like hundreds of those cheap Shark based SyFy Channel creature features & I have to say that I found Jersey Shore Shark Attack utterly awful yet undeniably entertaining & even quite amusing at times. At just under 90 minutes long the script wastes no time & this has a good pace, something utterly stupid or daft is always happening so you will be in a constant state of hysterics & disbelief at what you are witnessing. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is the sort of film that defies any sort of rational description, you simply have to see it to understand how awful it is & how embarrassing it is. The character's are all dumb stereotypical idiots & I assume that the airhead Nooki is a send-up of the real life Jersey Shore participant Snooki, the dialogue is terrible (did he drowned?) & the whole premise is lazy & has been done before. There's the killer Shark's, the rich businessman & town mayor who refuse to shut the beach down because of fear of bad publicity & the stand-up Sheriff who puts himself on the line. Character's behave in ways that are totally idiotic & I was actually rooting for the Shark's who were the innocent victims here in this tragic tale of environmental destruction & social behaviour.

The special effects are absolutely awful, the shark attacks are CGI computer animated & next to no effort was made to even place the Shark's & actor's in the same scene or to make footage of the two even match during the same scene. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is badly made by people who look like they don't really care. There's a bit of gore, a guy has his hand bitten off & a fountain of blood spurts everywhere, there's a mangled torso & some guy is attacked as a Shark jumps out of the water & has his stomach torn open & skin ripped off his body. The rest of the attacks are pitiful, even the blood in most of the attacks is CGI, how cheap is that? The film is very bright & colourful with no thought on creating any sort of atmosphere or scares or tension, it's very kitsch & exaggerated.

Filmed mainly in California there's an appearance by Joey Fatone in a funny cameo & the entire cast seem to having fun with the one-liners & silly poses, the so bad it's good acting from the cast is probably the best aspect of Jersey Shore Shark Attack & makes it a total laugh riot from start to finish.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is absolutely terrible, it's not a proper film it's a collection of awfully directed scenes & rubbish CGI effects held together by a game cast & an amusing script that actually has some wit. Don't rush out & buy it but I was entertained in a very strange sort of way. Now, a reality based television series in which the cast of the actual Jersey Shore are attacked & eaten by killer Shark's is definitely something I would pay good money to see...

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the SyFy logo, was "oh great", because usually SyFy make these really, really bad monstrous creature movies. But still, I gave it a watch because their movies are usually so bad that they are fun to watch.

As for the story in "Jersey Shore Shark Attack", well it is as with much other shark movies. Mankind is drilling in the ocean floor, and that stirs up a school of killer sharks, and the waters become unsafe to go into.

The storyline was very thin and seen countless times before in other movies, but still, it was fun to watch because the sharks looked so cheesy, the characters in the movie didn't share the IQ of a birch tree combined, and the effects were just laughable.

The characters in this movie was so epically lame, that it was just unbelievable. Combined amongst these steroid pumped young men and women, I think the IQ was still lower than that of a birch tree. The way they behaved, talked and what they did, it was just so over the top, and no one in their right mind would do such things, much less behave that way. Someone in the movie said, and I quote, "omg, look at that" - seriously, who talks like that? Now, I am not saying that the acting was bad, it was just questionable, and people did what they could with these super bad characters and dialogue that the had to work with. And what was up with the names of these characters? They were just downright stupid; TC, BJ, Nooki, J-Moni and Balzac. And the way those steroid muscle-men were walking, they looked like constipated dolls sitting on Popsicle sticks.

Joey Fatone is in the movie, still cashing in on the former Nsync celebrity status. Well, aside from that, then he gets eaten by a shark that just comes out of nowhere, jumps out, swallows him with a massive splatter of blood, and then apparently goes back into the water. That scene, despite being hilarious, was just so bad. How did that shark even get there?

Amazing with fireworks nowadays, apparently the firecrackers these people had packed such a sonic blast that it was able to knock a grown woman off the rocks and into the water. That scene was just so stupid. Not to mention the roman candle shooting underwater. What? And lets not leave out the unforgettable scene with the fireworks in the boat and the following explosion. It just has to be seen to actually be believed.

And you just got to love those adventurous, bold sharks that manage to get to water so shallow that it only reaches up to the middle of the lower calves of a grown man, and still manage to snatch itself a meal, despite the shark being way to big to even swim there. Or those wonderful moments when sharks start attacking the pillars that support and hold up the seaside boardwalk, because we all know that it happens every day in Jersey.

When the shark kept bobbing up out of the water at the side of the boat, it just looked like something out of a "whack-a-mole" game. It was so hilarious. And to make it even better, it was the worst CGI shark in the history of movies. Epic. Just epic!

Despite all these flaws and faults, then "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" was actually fun entertainment. Why? Well because it was so over the top cheesy and bad, and I sincerely hope that the movie was making fun of itself and the shark genre.

Not to mention that the Jersey police don't even have their weapon securely locked away, as TC could just walk in there and take whatever he wanted. No security, no locks, no weapons locker, no nothing. It was just hilarious.

Will you ever go in the water again?

This was really, REALLY bad. I know Sci-Fi original movies aren't diamonds and I usually have a really good sense of humor with them, but this was just unforgivable. The sharks were the worst things I have ever seen even with an expected sh**** budget. Were they albino sharks? I don't care. Joey Fatone getting eaten was the highlight but too bad you saw that in the commercial. I think I mostly HATED this movie because *SPOILER ALERT* NONE of the Jersey Shore parody cast members got eaten. I was SOOOOO disappointed; I really wanted to see the "Snooki" character get eaten. At least just ONE of them BUT THEY ALL LIVED! Wasn't the whole point of the movie to see the Jersey Shore characters get torn apart by sharks?! Anyway, the movie sucked even though it was supposed to suck. Worst.

Wow! All I can say is "ouch". The joke is clearly ON Jersey Shore.

For those who are unaware, there is a show that has been on TV for several seasons now, called "Jersey Shore". It is 'reality' - if you can really call it that. It's focus is on several people from the New Jersey area (primarily Italian Americans) and as most exploitation type shows go, it stereotypes these people.

That said. Watching this movie without understanding that it is spoofing the TV show could result in you going outside and looking at the setting sun and asking questions like, "Was that really Paul Sorvino? Was he blackmailed into doing this? Does Joey Fatone really have a fan club? Is my food choice for tonight safe after seeing this?"

On the other hand, if you get that it is a spoof - you might really enjoy it. It's gonna be a little painful either way, but let me assure you...there are a few funny moments...but mostly moments leaving you asking how production money was put together.

Despite my general dislike for SyFy movies, I did tune in to Jersey Shore Shark Attack to see how it would parody one of the biggest nadirs of any TV programme of recent times. I wouldn't say Jersey Shore Shark Attack is a great movie, but I find it more watchable and entertaining than the show. There are some saving graces, some decent scenery, the clever Jaws theme queue during Quint's speech, the brief performance of Joey Fatone and his death scene and the more than admirable performance of Jack Scaglia who has always come across as conscientious no matter how bad the film is. However, I can't say much about the rest of the cast. Paul Sorvino doesn't have that much to do and phones in his performance, while Tony Sirico and William Atherton's turns are not bad in performance but all too brief to make a bigger impression.

The Jersey Shore cast act in a very exaggerated fashion, and in the case of Vinny Guadagnino and the girl playing Snooki annoyingly so in alternative to hilariously. The sharks don't fare much better either sadly, their designs are some of the phoniest I've seen in any SyFy movie recently and they are not very menacing. They don't seem to move very naturally, I wasn't sure whether it was the fault of the editing, which was choppy, or the sharks themselves, but there seemed to be a lot of jumping around in their later scenes especially. The death scenes have been worse in previous movies definitely, but they're still rather predictable and lacking tension(Fatone's was the best one), and I was disappointed that the annoying characters weren't killed off.

Anybody expecting dumb, blatantly silly storytelling and logic being thrown out the window won't be disappointed in Jersey Shore Shark Attack. There are two instances involving the sharks where you do have to suspend disbelief, one where you are told that in order to kill a shark you shoot through its left eye as it's the eye of the devil, and another where you learn that a shark can be killed by being shot through its fin. And then there are sub-plots that are not only not that interesting but make the characters more unlikeable than they already are, such as the slobs vs. snobs subplot. It does deserve credit though that unlike other SyFy movies the pacing doesn't manage to be dull. The characters are deliberate caricatures certainly, but because the performances are so exaggerated and stereotypical I did find it hard to care for them.

In regard to the dialogue, that is also very corny that is full of Jersey-ese and supposedly tongue-in-cheek catchphrases, that depending on who you are may make you tear your hair out in irritation. I do agree that the basic tone of the film does feel like a genre movie rather than part of SyFy's output, though there is enough of SyFy's notorious trademarks(ie. the special effects) to remind us that it is actually SyFy. Overall, I didn't find Jersey Shore Shark Attack a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but I did find it entertaining, even if it is often stupid with annoying characters, blatant silliness in both the story and script and cheap effects. 4/10 Bethany Cox

OK, If you want a movie that presumes You respect your intelligence and is realistic. then Don't watch this. But if you Really want something to watch... a BAD Sci-fi Movie.. you know the kind you laugh at because its so bad, Well, I found that it fit the bill. I gave it a 4. and I really mean 3.8 but I like 3.8 sci-fi movies. You get to see an in-sync member get eaten. thats worth a point right there. and when the Cop gives a nod to his kid to let his work out pals and girl friends that cant untie a shoe full access to the Police assault weapons and boat to go hunt the sharks. (well, it got me laughing pretty good. ) We made sure we clapped every time someone got eaten so it was a fun brainless sci-fi comedy. Not sure how intentional it was. but it HAD to be. No one could have made this without intending it to be funny. Now as a comedy I would give it low marks. it wasn't THAT funny. as a Sci-fi Shark movie, it gets low marks.. it was a horrible drama shark movie. But for a Really Bad (funny bad) movie. I give it a good solid 3.8 (rounded up to a 4) and 3.8 is about how I like my Sci-fi thrillers when I want to make fun of a movie. At least it wasn't like the last one I saw about a piece of a neutron star throwing off the earths axis that turned out to be more about the gov conspiracy. now that was a one. this .. 3.8

This a parody of the Jersey Shore TV characters. So mad its not funny. Yes, there is some dimwitted situations that deserve a quick belly laugh. CGI of albino sharks attacking young adults on Miami Beach is lame. The script and dialog is like stinky cheese. Do you think they made this flick so bad on purpose. Turn your mind off and relax.

Giving credit for appearing: Jack Scalia, Melissa Molinaro, Joseph Russo, Audi Resendez, Alex Mauriello, Gabrielle Christian and Jeremy Luke.

Ok so this doesn't really warrant an "8" but I've watched sooo many bad shark movies. So in comparison...This one is actually funnier & a more interesting watch than most. I know that's not saying a whole lot lol but some of the comedy in it IS kind of funny. Missed opportunities though as it could have been even funnier with the Jersey Shore aspect. The "Complication" lmao! The Snooki/Nooki character could have been cast better with someone who wasn't so traditionally attractive & had funnier lines. Coulda gave the other girl characters more funny lines but only so much time I guess. Not a lot of Shark attacks it was really more of a comedy which I guess is obvious even going in on the title alone. So it could have been better if they focused even more on that part. All & all I would watch it if you're looking for a shark movie that's a little bit different than the rest. Even the shark idea is a bit different (albino sharks who live deep at the bottom of the ocean lol- well at least we know there actually ARE unknown creatures that live that deep- they didn't go with the mutated sharks due to some chemical thing that's been done a lot) They even did the trope of the locals verses the "rich preppies" which I thought was intentionally poking fun at so many other movies that have that & idk if they were trying to be clever with that but it kind of was. Well at least it's not trying to take itself seriously & a bit better than allll those other Shark movie options.

"Jersey Shore Shark Attack" opens with a stylized introduction to some of the main characters straight out of a spaghetti western which is indicative of the unexpected effort put into the quality of the film. It does not really deliver beyond what you expect with the title. Despite that, the film recognizes its own limitations and fully embraces both the Jersey Shore and Shark Attack parts of its heritage. Jersey Shore has faded from the spotlight so there may be some novelty if you have not seen an episode lately.

The introduction leads you to believe there will be realized characters who face off in a struggle of some kind. That sort of happens. The film has a class conflict backdrop many working class people can relate to. The guidos, as they are called and call themselves, are the tanned Jersey natives who have lived in the area for at least a century. They speak like the TV stereotypes they are, style their hair every which way and wear beach clothes all the time. Preppy, rich non-guidos exclusively inhabit yachts and never tire of picking on the guidos' slovenly lifestyle.

Sharks attack indiscriminately due to vibrations caused by the construction of a fancy boardwalk. No one approved an ordinance variation. The guidos have to save their hometown and the preps too. The film hints at personal conflict between some of the preps and guidos without much exploration. A few tweaks to the script would have been helpful to gel the shark plot with the class conflict one. The film feels like an episode of the TV show forced into the middle of a lame shark movie.

The sharks look so bad it must have been intentional. I'm talking 1990s type bad CGI. The film doesn't even bother to show the sharks interacting with the actors often. Instead we see the CGI shark below water then the victim drop below the surface as red food dye fills the water. Thankfully, the actors have some fun with fireworks and harpoon guns to kill them.

In spite of its flaws, "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" stands out as one of the better themed made for TV shark efforts. The actors are talented enough to run through the jokes which are spread out enough not to become tiresome. The rest is just a standard Jaws ripoff with Jack Scalia as Chief Brody and Paul Sorvino as the mayor. You could do better and a whole lot worse.