Archer (TV Series)
Movie Star (2011)
Amber Nash: Pam Poovey
Quotes
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Pam : Shut up. We're gonna go to prison.
Cheryl : No, we're not. Say the right stuff and they just send you to a mental hospital for ten months.
Ray Gillette : ...I just this second realized why you do macrame instead of knitting.
Cheryl : Yeah, no sharp objects on the ward. They were super strict about that.
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Ray Gillette : No, shut up. We go in, drop the journal, and get out. No snooping.
Pam Poovey : Aw, come on. I just wanna see if me and her have stuff in common like.
Cheryl Tunt : Tons of cock porn lying around?
Pam Poovey : I don't have cock porn just laying around. But sometimes you just, you know, forget it's in the VCR.
Ray Gillette : How do you forget?
Pam Poovey : You rub one out, flip back to regular TV, Superstars is on, and all of a sudden here's Joe Frasier's dumb ass drowning and you forget it's in there. Until mom and dad come to visit to tell you she's got Lou Gehrig's Disease.
Ray Gillette : Why would you think it's okay to share that?
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Pam : And that wet clingy shirt she wears the whole time, nipple towwwwwwn!
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Pam : Ummm, I maybe, kinda slightly, took it.
Ray Gillette : Why would you do that?
Cheryl : Did you think it was meat?
Pam : I... shut up!
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Pam : Oh, come on, haven't you ever snooped on somebody you thought was dreamy?
Ray Gillette : No. Well, except for Randy Muckler, who, turns out, was just leading me on to get out of the draft, so I made a phone call to the draft board and now who's laughing, Mr. Hooks For Hands?
[long pause]
Ray Gillette : A booby trap blew his arms off.
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Sterling Archer : There's a sniper out there whose bullet can start World War 3, and you idiots are tying up ISIS resources on high school bullshit!
Pam : Yeah.
Cheryl : Yeah.
Ray Gillette : Nooo...
Sterling Archer : Cause I really don't see a downside to that Archer-wise...
[picks up a gunbelt]
Sterling Archer : Here load up... should be a big box of grenades around here somewhere.
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Pam Poovey : We're a go on operation. Ooh, what should we call it?
Cheryl Tunt : Dick Sledge!
Ray Gillette : You wanna?
Pam Poovey : No, but it's like sour milk. You just gotta take a whiff. What's the story, Neckbones?
Cheryl Tunt : Sophomore year at my stupid college I had a huge crush on the quarterback, this super hot guy named Dick Sledge.
Pam Poovey : Sploosh!
Ray Gillette : Jinx.
Cheryl Tunt : It was like I was invisible. He wouldn't even sign my cast when I broke my own arm. But I thought if I knew what he liked then I'd have an in. So one Saturday when he had a game, I broke into his dorm room to see what kind of music he was into or turtles or roll around in his clothes or whatever.
Pam Poovey : But you were so busy sniffing his jock you didn't hear him come in?
Cheryl Tunt : Because he totally snuck up on me! I guess I blacked out because I don't remember stabbing him at all.
Pam Poovey : What? Why did you have a knife?
Cheryl Tunt : I didn't! It was a stupid pair of scissors. And it was his fault for grabbing me with his throwing hand! That's how his tendon got severed.
Pam Poovey : Holy shit snacks.
Cheryl Tunt : Yeah, they said he could have gone pro.
