Archer (TV Series)
Movie Star (2011)
H. Jon Benjamin: Sterling Archer
Quotes
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Sterling Archer : You're just doing this to spite me.
Lana Kane : And?
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Rona Thorne : But you're a man.
Sterling Archer : And then some.
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Sterling Archer : How could she pick Lana over me?
Woodhouse : The mind fairly boggles.
Sterling Archer : Exactly! Wait. Was that sarcasm?
Woodhouse : No, sir.
Sterling Archer : Oh, good, because your opinion matters, and since you seem unclear on the concept, that was sarcasm.
Woodhouse : Well played, sir.
Sterling Archer : Thank you.
[long pause]
Sterling Archer : Thank you.
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Rona Thorne : Ohmigod, this is going to be...
Sterling Archer : Don't say it! I swear to God!
Rona Thorne : [whispered] Amazing!
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Sterling Archer : There's a sniper out there whose bullet can start World War 3, and you idiots are tying up ISIS resources on high school bullshit!
Pam : Yeah.
Cheryl : Yeah.
Ray Gillette : Nooo...
Sterling Archer : Cause I really don't see a downside to that Archer-wise...
[picks up a gunbelt]
Sterling Archer : Here load up... should be a big box of grenades around here somewhere.
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Rona Thorne : These like Kung-Fu monks make this fifty foot tape, like a cloth measuring tape, but it's kelp. And you swallow over, like, three days and you start to, y'know, pass it. Then you just slowly, slowly pull it out of you over three more days...
Lana Kane : Wait, what?
Rona Thorne : It pulls all the toxins out of your body. And you just feel so clean.
Sterling Archer : [listening in] While you're tangled in a half-mile of shit-covered tape? Frickin' actresses.
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Sterling Archer : You're all rigid and stiff, which, you know, I'm all for, huh huh rimshot, but not on the range.
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Sterling Archer : But speaking of your body and my body, and stiffness...
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Sterling Archer : Freaking Lana. I mean even for her this is over the line. She's going to wish I was never born.
Dr. Krieger : Just going to softball it in like that?
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Overweight Technician : You got any idea how much I've got on my plate?
Sterling Archer : Huh, huh.
Overweight Technician : ** sigh ** You know...
Sterling Archer : What? I could have crushed that.
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Sterling Archer : Was that so hard, Count Snackula?
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Rona Thorne : Omigod, strong and sexy...
Sterling Archer : Gotta get by.
Rona Thorne : ...amazinnnnnnggggg!
Sterling Archer : Will you shut up?