Xander Corvus: David

Quotes 

• David : You going somewhere?

  Girl 1 : Yeah, I gotta get up early in the morning.

  David : You don't want to stay the night?

  Girl 1 : Uh, John; could you help me zip this up?

  [David zips up her dress] 

  David : [Whispering in her ear]  My name is David.

  Girl 1 : It's nothing personal, you were a decent lay. I'll let myself out.

  [David Scoffs] 

• Jen : Hi!

  David : Hi.

  David : [Mumbles]  Out walking your dog.

  Jen : More like he's walking me. Hi! I'm Jen.

  David : Oh hey, I'm John, - I'm David, My- My name is David.

  Jen : Right.

  David : Guess I'll see you around then David.

  David : Yeah! See, see you around.

  [Mocking himself] 

  David : I'm John. The hell's wrong with me?

• Jen : [Frantically]  My Bozly, He's gone! I've been going around asking all the neighbors and nobody's seen him.

  David : Ok well uh, just- just calm- just calm down everything's going to be OK.

  Jen : No! It's *not* OK! He's not just my baby, he's a valuable dog and somebody might have kidnapped him...

  David : Fuck no,

  Jen : [Continues in normal voice]  But still- he's not a puppy anymore but he's only 4...

  [Frantically] 

  Jen : But in dog year's that's like late 20's. Oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

  David : Jennifer, I- uh...

  Jen : What?

  David : Uh well, I just...

  Jen : Uh what?

  [David mutters to himself] 

  Jen : What? What is it?

  David : Uh, if you want, I could totally, you know help ya out... find him... Bozly... , the dog. You know put up flyers... ya know. Ask around the neighborhood.

  [Chuckles] 

  David : [David chuckles] 

  David : Ya know. Do you want me to help you find him?

• David : Um, so is Bozly, really important to you?

  Jen : Yeah. He's everything. He's the only one who's ever been loyal. He's never lied to me, never cheated on me, God, I sound ironic. It's just after the divorce, it was... tough. I moved out here to get away from everybody. Everybody except for Meg. Can't ever get away from Meg.

  David : Oh, I mean, have you been... dating anybody?

  Jen : No.

  David : Oh, I was, you know.

  [Mutters] 

  David : Good to know.

  Jen : And don't ask me why not. One more person asks me, I swear I'm gonna scream.

  David : Understood.

• Vicky : [Normal voice]  David.

  [Sterner tone] 

  Vicky : David.

  [Even sterner tone] 

  Vicky : David. You need to go outside. You need to get out of the house. Cause you're self-pity, is stinking' up the place.

  David : I can't. I'm helping Steve.

  [David is holding Steve's Red Bull energy drink and Steve takes a drink from it] 

  Steve : Damn straight.

  Vicky : Now, you need to go out tonight because I need to air out this house, because it reaks of depression. Get up, get out of the house.

  [David gets up and leaves] 

  Vicky : [Vicky sits down next to Steve]  Sissy's in here.

  [She takes his Red Bull energy drink, she goes to take a sip] 

  Vicky : Oooooh!

  [Vicky takes a drink] 

• Steve : [to David]  Hey what up, dude? What happened to that hottie you brought here last night?

  David : The usual, and she left.

  David : Nailed and bailed huh? Yeah!

  [Steve raises his hand for a high five] 

  Vicky : God, you are such a pig.

  Steve : Whatever, you just don't get it. I'm just happy for the guy.

  Vicky : Yeah right, good one.

  David : She didn't even know my name.

  Steve : I remember when I used to wake up next to chicks and not know their name.

  Vicky : Sometimes you forget *my* name.

  David : Course, you didn't stay the night.

  Steve : Yeah, exactly, so, what are you bitching about?

  David : Cause I'm sick of these one night stands! I'm like how often is this gonna happen? It's a eternal spiral I keep going down. I want a girl I can actually hang out with. A girl ya know, I play video games with.

  Vicky : You don't even play video games.

  David : Uh yeah, Vicky, besides the point. OK this gonna- this is gonna sound really naive, but, I don't know but it's not like I'm out there looking 'the one"

  [mutters] 

  David : Jesus, I guess I'm looking, but I'm not not, expecting to find her. I don't know.

  Vicky : Well, maybe if you stop looking in guy bars?

  David : Um, well, that's the only place I'm comfortable taking to girls I mean, you get a few drinks in me and I'm loosening up and I'm not gonna see them again so I can say *anything* and I'm not gonna mess it up. Ya know. When it comes to a girl you really want to spend time with. Something different. OK, you know what it is? I freeze up I get nervous I start sweating and I'm afraid I'm a start doing the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, make the whole thing awkward and just ruin the whole moment.

  Steve : Epic fail bro, epic fail. You just gotta get out of that comfort zone your in, man.

  David : I get out of my comfort zone?

  Steve : Yeah.

  David : This coming from a guy who hasn't put on a pair of pants in two months.

  Steve : Shut up, you don't even know how hard it is to live this lifestyle.