House M.D. (TV Series)

Out of the Chute (2011)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Dr. James Wilson : [after House jumps from his hotel room into the pool]  What the Hell are you doing?

  Dr. Gregory House : What do you do when you win?

  Crowd : Party!

  Dr. Gregory House : What do you do when you lose?

  Crowd : PARTY HARDER!

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You didn't expect me to say yes to rupturing his aorta, did you?

  Dr. Gregory House : Since I didn't ask, I wasn't expecting you to say anything at all.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You have no reason to believe this will save his life.

  Dr. Gregory House : Really? No reason. None at all. I'm just planning on cracking open his chest, blowing up his heart, what, to pad his bill? Or you think that since you broke my heart I want to break his?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : ...I don't know. I think maybe you're looking for something that can excite you, fill a void. And it's affecting your judgment.

  Dr. Gregory House : You're right, I am. But my damaged, depressed, drug-addled judgment is still better than yours or any other doctor in this hospital. And my team is going to do this procedure and save his life. So, you can either have security arrest me and my team, or you can get the hell out of my way... And she caves.

• Carnell : Please don't.

  Dr. Gregory House : [shoots the door with an arrow]  That is a nice bow.

  Carnell : That was a nice door.

  Dr. Gregory House : Put it on my tab. What say we take it up a notch?

  [throws an apple to Carnell] 

  Carnell : Yeah, right. Very funny.

  Dr. Gregory House : You don't trust me?

  Carnell : No!

  Sarah : I'll do it.

  [takes an apple from Carnell] 

  Dr. Gregory House : And we have a gamer.

  Carnell : Oh, come on, man. You can't be serious.

  [Sarah smiles and puts an apple on her head] 

  Dr. Gregory House : Why not? Anything goes wrong, we just take her to the doctor. And I'm only eight paces away.

• Carnell : House...

  Dr. Gregory House : I like you, Carnell.

  [phone rings] 

  Dr. Gregory House : Don't ruin it.

  [picks up a phone] 

  Dr. Gregory House : Stinky feet, could point to diabetes, athlete's foot or gangrene. Pick one.

  Carnell : No!

  Dr. Chris Taub : Uh, none. None of those cause bloody sputum or disappearing masses.

  Carnell : No, no, no! No! You are going to kill her.

  Dr. Gregory House : Don't do that Carnell. They might get the idea that I'm shooting at a hooker. Fungal infection causes ulceration between the toes. Bleeding can be from recurring abscesses that appear to be recurring masses.

  Martha Masters : Symptoms in the head or feet mean the infection would have to be in the heart or the brain.

  Dr. Chris Taub : I say we start by looking in the heart because looking at his brain with a metal plate is problematic.

  Dr. Robert Chase : So is MRI-ing his heart. He's got a seven centimeter conductive metal rod holding his rib together.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : It'll rip him in two.

  Dr. Gregory House : No, it'll just feel like it's ripping him in two, which is much better.

  Dr. Chris Taub : We could minimize the damage by injecting ice-water into his abdominal cavity.

  Carnell : No! Please, no!

  [House shoots an arrow and Carnell finds an arrow sticking Sarah's body, bleeding] 

  Carnell : Oh, God!

  Dr. Gregory House : Opps. Got to go.

  Carnell : Call an ambulance!

  Dr. Gregory House : Why?

  Carnell : What do you mean, why! She's hurt!

  Dr. Gregory House : She doesn't look hurt.

  [Sarah starts laughing] 

  Carnell : No, you didn't.

  Dr. Gregory House : Yes, we did.

  Carnell : [Sarah shows the trick]  You're an ass.

  Dr. Gregory House : Okay, go get me General Patton's Colt .45. The one with two notches.

• Carnell : Don't worry you can trust me with anything - including your food.

  Dr. Gregory House : After he and I have sex, I'm going to slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub.

  Carnell : Oh, no problem. I'll have the morning Maid Service. Would you like me to have them clean up later when they come to turn down your bed?

  Dr. Gregory House : Why didn't I meet you six months ago?

• Dr. Gregory House : I thought you loved those 8 seconds.

  Lane : ...I do... And now you're telling me that I gotta give them up... I can always find something else to love.

• Martha Masters : It wasn't *that* ridiculous a theory.

  Dr. Gregory House : Great theory. It's a ridiculous test. You can't give a standard balance test to a champion bull rider. If you're gonna test Superman's strength, you need a bigger bar bell. Find one, make him lift it. Then call me and tell me how high it got... And tell Cuddy spying is for cowards.

  [Ends the call] 

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Just keep me posted.

  Dr. Eric Foreman , Dr. Robert Chase : I will.

• Dr. James Wilson : You're scared because nothing excites you. Fun doesn't excite you. Puzzles don't excite you. What's left? And I was saying you're right. You're upset. You're depressed. Everything's going to taste a little worse right now, but... it'll pass.

  Dr. Gregory House : It's understandable. You're scared because you think I'm falling apart. And you're trying to convince yourself that you're overreacting.

• Dr. Gregory House : Who's in charge?

  Dr. Eric Foreman : House, as long as you're not here. Someone has to have the final...

  Dr. Gregory House : Let me rephrase: who's your daddy?

  Dr. Chris Taub : Let me rephrase: you have to decide if you're going to buck up and get out of bed and do your job or if you're gonna wallow in self-pity.

  Dr. Gregory House : Thos are my only two choices? Or can I also point out the self-pity coming from you? You're just annoyed because when your relationship ended, no one gave a crap - including you.