The Office (TV Series)

Todd Packer (2011)

Rainn Wilson: Dwight Schrute

Quotes 

• [deliberating how to get back at Todd] 

  Jim Halpert : All right, well, this isn't my best, but call Froggy 101, say that we're the tour manager for Justin Bieber, and we're giving away free tickets. We give them a number to call for the tickets, and it's his number.

  Dwight Schrute : Who is Justice Beaver?

  Jim Halpert : He... It's a crime-fighting beaver.

• Dwight Schrute : All right, picture this. Snowy ash drizzles from the sky. A rabid pack of dogs surrounds you as the flame at the end of your stick dies out. There's only one hope for you: the door to my shelter. You pound. You beg. "Dwight, please let me in." But I ignore your cries and do not let you in. You want to know why?

  Jim Halpert : Because of the sign that says, "No pounding, no begging."

• Kevin Malone : [to Todd]  Your life is so insane. You should write a book.

  Todd Packer : Since when did you learn how to read?

  Kevin Malone : [still smiling]  I do know how to read, though.

  Todd Packer : Yeah. You know how to read a menu. This guy...

  [Todd chuckles and leaves] 

  Kevin Malone : [to Holly and Dwight]  I... He's right. I mean, I could lose some weight.

  Dwight Schrute : Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up-and-comer.

• [first lines] 

  Dwight Schrute : I have the best survival stock shelter in north eastern Pennsylvania. But everything has a shelf-life. So I must eat and replace everything that's about to expire. It's nice not to have to plan my meals.