House of Darkness (2022) User Reviews

Surprise... there is no surprise!

[tellstar · 5/10 · 16 September 2022]

The actors give this their all, but really this is just a slow and predictable ride to a dull payoff. Starts off fine with some fun interplay and dialogue between Long and Bosworth. Becomes less interesting as more characters are introduced. Within 20 minutes, I suppose that there may be 6 or 7 people in the world who don't understand that this doofus is spending the night with vampires. If you're not getting it after the characters identify themselves by name, you're just not into vampire movies. Because I liked the actors well enough, I was willing to finish this in the hopes of a twist ending...

Well.. NO!

Sometimes slow can be fun, if you pay attention!

[Wild-43358 · 6/10 · 17 September 2022]

I really enjoyed this actually! Justin Long and Kate Bosworth are some seriously good actors. They really put on a show! I understand there was a ton of conversation and it's pretty fair to say this was incredibly slow. I can understand that. But sometimes slow is good. This held pretty solid build up and while it was predictable I also considered this to be a classic long stretch of tales from the crypt type of story. So I really enjoyed the aspect of that and couldn't wait to see what was going to happen. Even if I knew there was clearly something off about Mina you still don't know exactly what it may be! The ending was great and a classic! The acting was also incredibly good as expected.

A wonderful Tales from the Crypt episode... stretched to 89 minutes

[kbtoys100 · 6/10 · 10 September 2022]

First off, DO NOT watch the trailer unless you want everything ruined. Seriously, who thought to release that?

On to the film - We open with playboy Justin Long returning to the large, isolated home of a beautiful but odd woman (Kate Bosworth). As the two dance around what each other is after, we learn they may not be alone in the house...

Basically, this is a slow burn thriller with a twist at the end. Director Neil Labute (of Wickerman remake infamy) must have watched a lot of Ti Wests films such as House of the Devil and The Innkeepers, because this film fits right alongside those in terms of style. If you don't have the patience for a very, very, very slow-moving film, you will not enjoy House of Darkness.

If, on the other hand, you did enjoy the aforementioned films, this film will have you captivated. The dialogue is great, our three main players are all excellent, and you'll be waiting to see what happens next.

But, is the payoff worth the wait? Without ruining the film, as I think it will be far more enjoyable not knowing where it will lead, I would say the answer is a slight yes. They obviously had a very small budget, which hinders giving perhaps a bigger oomph of an ending. What we get is good, but had they a bit more to work with, the film may resonate more.

Really?

[Foutainoflife · 3/10 · 19 September 2022]

A guy goes home with an attractive woman believing he's found himself a casual hookup.

What is this? OMG. I like Justin Long but I don't want to watch him rambling, at times incoherently, for nearly 90 minutes. There's so little dialogue that all you hear is him trying to carry the whole weight of the movie on his shoulders while the rest of the cast asked stupid, repetitive questions and stares at him. It was a bit ridiculous. The story is so obvious. You know where this is heading in the first five minutes. It's not very creative or interesting.

I made it through the whole film but this just turned out to be a flop for me. It's not something that I'm gonna be hyping up.

Who wrote this dialogue

[jn-14100 · 1/10 · 18 September 2022]

We just tried to watch this movie. Whoever wrote this dialog clearly has never interacted with real humans. 20 minutes in and Justin Long's character was so unlikeable with the ceaseless rambling that we gave up. There was zero action or anything compelling to hook someone in. This would probably be suited best as a low budget play instead of a movie. The preview to the film was intriguing but if you can't hook an audience in the first 20 min of an hour and a half film the entire script needs to be rewritten. Overall I will give this a one star for the reimagining premise but sadly cannot give it any more than that.

Barely a movie, more like a play with one act.

[Victor_Fallon · 3/10 · 18 September 2022]

Justin Long plays a dorky guy who drives the sassy Kate Bosworth home to maybe get frisky in her big old spooky house.

The rest of the movie is a real time (yes, really) conversation that drags on and on. The extensive dialogue is cluttered, swamped with umms and ahhs and throwaway lines that the cheapest editor on Fiverr would have jettisoned immediately.

The cinematography is poor. Actors often have their eyes in shadow which subtracts from their otherwise decent performances. There is only one location, a living room, and most of the time we can barely see it. They took the title literally, it seems. Don't expect the house to play any role. It doesn't.

It's a very basic movie, essentially a one act radio play. A cliched thirty second denouement is telegraphed hard and then it's over. I can't even tell you what this movie is about because it only has one idea and it would spoil the whole thing. As a five minutes short, it would be respectable. As a movie, it's a toothless waste of time.

Forget the bad reviews. If you can cope with listening to well crafted dialogue and acting that builds tension, its for you.

[prestonmick-975-597748 · 7/10 · 6 March 2023]

I would love to know the age of people who rate this film as a 1 or 2 and say comments like 'Skip it' or 'boring waste of time.' Maybe these people need to stay off their phones while watching a conversation-led film.

I live in the UK, do not work in the industry, have zilch to do with the film or trying to promote it. However, after giving it a go, regardless of the poor reviews, I thought it was really good, in fact its maybe a 7.5.

You can sort of sense from the early dialogue what path the film might take but what kept me gripped was the mystery of wondering how we were going to get there. I found the dialogue excellent. It was intriguing and the exchanges between the main characters made me drawn into the room with them.

This is not a gorefest from minute one, nor is it a bloodbath but its highly sexually charged, with dark undertones that permeate the film from very early on. The acting is top notch as well.

We're introduced to a couple who have literally just met earlier, in a bar, and the male character Hap has given Mina a lift home. They seem to like each other, and thus the dialogue/wordplay begins.

For me, it was absolutely fascinating to watch, i was riveted. Saying that, I did watch it in the dark, no interruptions, and I had headphones on and it just ramped up the creepy atmosphere.

And this film does build up. Its like a coil thats getting tighter and tighter, and even tho you 'know' whats going to happen, you still need to watch.

My only criticism would be that, after all that tension and impending doom, the end seemed to peter out a little maybe, and it ended too quickly. But, saying that, I thoroughly enjoyed it and providing you're not an impatient child, and you can listen to dialogue , and read between the lines, then hopefully you'll find it as enjoyable as I did.

Goes absolutely nowhere!

[Go_For_The_Jugular · 1/10 · 14 September 2022]

What the heck!

Was this improvised?

It starts off fairly well, but goes absolutely nowhere. It's like the cast were just making it up as they went along.

Boring, slow, tedious and non-sensical dialogue, from start to finish.

Not even an ounce of a storyline, or plot.

Nearly 90 minutes of build-up, with the biggest anti-climax I've seen in some time.

How can someone give this the green light, then someone else make this, act in this, direct this, film this, edit this...and RELEASE THIS?

Absolutely horrible! If I had paid to watch this, I would ask for TWO refunds. Wasted my morning on this.

Justin Long and the female lead had zero chemistry. Where was the horror? 5 seconds of a woman's reflection in a mirror? I'm sorry, but the word 'horror' shouldn't be within 100 miles of this movie.

And House of 'Darkness' was the perfect title...as it's almost pitch black for 90% of the movie.

A rare dialog driven horror movie

[kkrouner-1 · 7/10 · 10 January 2023]

I haven't really seen a horror movie like this before. It's a small cast and dialog driven. The type that could be a stage play. The writing could have been a bit better, but the acting makes up for it. Would love to see more horror movies like this!

It's in a similar vein to Big Kahuna. Justin Long and Kate Bosworth do fantastic jobs as always. The other 2 actresses I didn't recognize, but they delivered as well. Suspense is steadily built in masterful ways that keep you ready for the shoe to drop at any moment, or possibly not at all!

I'm not sure why people seemed to dislike this so much. I almost wanted to give it a 10 just to counter the unreasonable hate, but in the end I had to grade it where it was.

STOP! Don't watch!

[petarilic32 · 1/10 · 18 October 2022]

HUGE WARNING for how boring and utterly POINTLESS and obvious it is. I'm being dead serious here! It doesn't get more boring and more pointless than this. Save your time, otherwise you'll have exactly the same reaction as me, which is - wtf? And not in a good way either. If there was a minus 10, this "movie" would certainly get it.

I'm going to keep this spoiler free but there's quite literally nothing to spoil anyway since it's all spelt out! The only thing that actually happens is a cute story and that's it! Are you kidding me? Who came up with this? Give an iPhone to a 5 year old and I guarantee you they'd make a better "movie".

I actually really liked this movie

[Mulattohorrorfanatic · 9/10 · 30 January 2023]

Don't judge me but I'm a huge Justin Long fan( will watch a movie with him in it without knowing the plot) and that's what happened with this film. I saw him without knowing the plot of this movie and it was actually good to me. With the addition of each sister, It kept me enticed to keep watching til the end. & OH MY GAWD I LOVED THR ENDING... Like seriously had me like "wtf, he has to be dreaming?!" Well spoiler alert guys .........

HE ISNT. THAT IS HOW THE MFN MOVIE ENDS. WHICH IS WHY I ONLY GAVE IT 8 OUT OF 10 BC DAMN IM DISAPPOINTED AT THE ENDING. BUT OVERALL,vi liked the movie y'all. I'm a horror movie fanatic so not one of the best but definitely not one of the worst.

Doesn't Deserve the Low Reviews

[arfdawg-1 · 7/10 · 24 October 2022]

To be clear, I have no skin in this game. I don't know anyone involved in this movie nor did I know anything about it when I started to watch it.

It's a small cast -- 4 people. Really 2 and a half. When you see the movie you'll see what I mean. Because the movie is confined to an old house, it's a talky movie.

In fact, it's presented almost like a play. I could easily envision this being on the stage and playing for a long time.

So there's lots of converation. Yes, you pretty much know where the plot is heading the moment the movie begins, but it's still realy fun to watch the plot unfold.

It's well done and well acted.

Not really sure why this is getting semi-bad reviews here. Maybe because it's not a traditional slasher type movie with phony scare tactics. It's more of a thinking man's film.

Awful and boring

[edlc1970 · 1/10 · 25 September 2022]

The first more than an hour of this boring crap, is a conversation between Mina and Hap. First outside her mansion and then inside in the couch. Nothing happens. Nothing!! He is overly awkward and she is overly mysterious. And they do nothing by talking. Its like watching a stage show in a theater. And a very boring stage show at that. Its a total waste, watching the sad and dull crap. Its gotten bad ratings in Rotten Tomatoes and on IMDb. And if you waste time watching this crap, you will find out why. Otherwise, save time and everything else, and avoid this crap. Its boring, Its weird and nothing happens. Nothing.

Cure for insomnia

[daleenglish-38279 · 1/10 · 28 January 2023]

This movie goes nowhere. A waste of time that you will never get back. It is really a movie about less than nothing. The good news, if you can't sleep, this movie will knock you out cold. Cast must have needed a paycheck because clearly this movie has no script, no writers. Improv at its absolute worst. Not scary, not tense, not dramatic, not interesting. An appropriate title would be KATE AND JUSTIN NEED WORK. Warning, cash grab ahead. Watching your lawn grow will provide you with a thousand times more entertainment. This awful production is truly the cure for all insomnia the world over. Too late for me, save yourselves. You're welcome.

Boring and Predictable!

[sharkbark-32581 · 1/10 · 14 September 2022]

I basically sat there and watched Justin Long's character nervously ramble for 90 minutes while Kate Bosworth's "Mia" just sits there and stares at him, occasionally saying something snarky. This movie really tested my patience to the point where I was hoping "Hap" would fall out of a window just so I wouldn't have to listen to him ramble on for another second. The slow and painful ride this movie takes you on simply isn't worth the time. The women toy with him like he's a child. His character is that of a gibbering idiot. Totally clueless and very irritating to sit through. I'm glad they killed him. I only wish they could kill him again!

Colosssal Waste of Time - Skip It

[AlienLover3000 · 2/10 · 25 September 2022]

If you've seen the movie trailer, then you've seen the entire movie.

I was planning to bail on the movie after the 1 hour mark as NOTHING happened at all. The story went absolutely nowhere.

The other sisters appear (who both give a somewhat good performance in the brief screentime they have).

We then get teased with a backstory that make sense but the ending and payoff is very poor in both the directing and execution. It is completely rushed, as if the production ran out of money.

None of it makes any sense, making the rest of the movie inconsequetial and a complete waste of the viewer's time.

Kate Bosworth should stick in her lane (surfing movies) and likewise for Justin Long (Apple ads) so they don't ruin their careers being involved in garbage like this.

How did this get released?

[antony-69 · 1 October 2022]

It's hard to know where to start!

This is billed as as a seductive thriller. The only real problem with that is that there is no seduction and nothing thrilling. Rather, it is deathly boring from the first scene to the last.

It is hard to say whether Justin Long is acting incredibly well or just doesn't want to be there. He is incredibly likeable in everything I've seen him in but I'm this film you can easily hate him for a multitude of reasons.

Kate Bosworth, as ever, gives an incredibly wooden performance whilst also looking like a plank of wood. She is being sold as the beautiful siren, yet in a film that only features three women she is easily the least attractive by a significant margin. She should refuse to ever work with the stylist and wardrobe department again.

What really let's this film down though is revealing so early on that Kate Bosworth's character is Mina Murray. Anyone who has read Dracula knows exactly who Mina is. Knowing that is like being given the worlds biggest spoiler. You instantly know the whole plot, if you can even call it a plot.

Please, I implore you, if you were involved in this film, get a different job.

He didn't do anything!!!

[bangel3322 · 6/10 · 25 September 2022]

Pretty decent film told in real time, I think only made more enjoyable due to Justin Long. He played his character perfectly. This guy who thinks he's suave, looking for a good time, who is still rather awkward when it comes to women.

It's obvious from the title and trailer what's going to happen, so there's not much of a shock factor here or any surprises unfortunately, which would have made it slightly better.

Not overly keen on Kate Bosworth's casting. I actually think they should have swapped Kate's character with the second sister...she was a far better actress. Overall a decent watch but it's pretty predictable.

Just...awful

[buffo-27296 · 1/10 · 24 September 2022]

I guess the idea for this was to cast a male lead that is so annoying, unlikable and sleezy and to have the male lead feature in every scene for long enough for the audience to despair that the end is not happening fast enough. Enter Justin Long to play himself.

Not only does Justin Long irritate the viewer with his very poor delivery and over the top ham-fisted acting chops, but he delivers his performance in a completely unselfconscious way - as if he thinks he is really nailing it. He does not.

The female leads are a bit better but only because they look so good and so the terrible script, lack of wit, the barely credible set up and juvenile plotting, can be temporarily overlooked.

Unfortunately, Long's performance in this piece of fluff is so bad that I will be reluctant to every invest in anything with his name attached to it.

Slow, but will indeed hook you if you let it.

[A_Different_Drummer · 7/10 · 14 September 2022]

The Pickup From Hell (literally) is really 9 parts stage play and 1 part movie. With those numbers, you're thinking it would have to be pretty darn compelling to justify your time? And it is. Thanks to Justin Long, who more or less gives a one man show for 90 minutes. Long coincidentally stars in one of the movies on my "BEST" IMDb list (see below) and clearly, even more than a decade later, he has lost none of his famous "Jimmy Stewart" charm. Oddly, this is an upside-down sort of "guys" movie in that, for self-identifying male watchers, you would be constantly asking yourself, "If that were me, at what point would I have had the common sense to grab my hat, head for the door, and run down the road SCREAMING?" ((Designated "IMDb Top Reviewer." Please check out my list "167+ Nearly-Perfect Movies (with the occasional Anime or TV miniseries) you can/should see again and again (1932 to the present))

A short film concept.

[Shreyansh344 · 3/10 · 14 September 2022]

The film gave me hope with its beginning. But was a let down by the time it ended. Justin Long really uplifts this film with his acting but the lack of chemistry amongst the other actors, and zero depth in the script made it impossible to like this film.

There were moments like some conversations between the characters which reflected a proper writing but it fell off in the rest of the film. Couple of jumpscares does the job well but that's it. For a moment it does take an interesting turn but then just leaves that part hanging which could have made this film a bit more interesting.

The ending seemed forced. It would've worked if it was a short film.

Dialogue driven thriller.

[heartattack-54645 · 8/10 · 6 September 2023]

The movie was a great thriller for those who aren't just looking for sex, blood, and jump scares. The buildup is the fun of the movie. Does the audience know where it's going? Of course, just like 90% of horror movies, but the excitement is getting there.

The slow burn was pretty intense at time. That cut scene was a nice break to add more suspense. The characters worked well together, the dialogue served its purpose well. You could feel Justin Long's first date bro awkwardness and Kate Bosworth's playful with her prey vibe. The actors did an excellent job.

My only wish is that the 4th character could have had more screen time to let the ending burn a little longer. I have to agree that the climax was a bit too short but otherwise, I really liked it.

I enjoyed it

[ashfordofficial · 6/10 · 20 September 2022]

1. A reimagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I usually gets bored by movies with full of conversation and less action, but this film gracefully delivered horror, tension and mystery in a smooth manner and Justin Long, Kate Bosworth and Gia Crovatin gave a tremendous performance that I enjoyed very much. It's nice to see Long back in horror genre. I loved his performance in this one and he nailed that role perfectly.

2. A reimagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I usually gets bored by movies with full of conversation and less action, but this film gracefully delivered horror, tension and mystery in a smooth manner and Justin Long, Kate Bosworth and Gia Crovatin gave a tremendous performance that I enjoyed very much. It's nice to see Long back in horror genre. I loved his performance in this one and he nailed that role perfectly.

What a let down

[jaweebelow · 2/10 · 20 September 2022]

What sounded like an interesting enough premise for a little horror/comedy was unfortunately let down by it's very poor excecution.

I am usually a fan of Justin Long and I do think he is well suited to horror/comedy but here it felt there was nothing he could have done to save the script & it's characters' awful dialogue.

The bad dialogue along with bad lighting; which was noticably bad in almost every scene. The poor acting from the three sisters was just tiring to say the least. The pacing was absolutely off, I can't call it a "slow-burn" because it never heated up, it just wandered about for 70 minutes followed by the most predictable and down-right lazy ending I could have possibly imagined.

These things wouldn't even be so much of an issue if the movie actually had any comedy to speak of, seriously don't get why it's tagged as "horror, comedy". This just wasn't it.

It wasn't deliberately bad in order to be funny, it was just bad. There was no comedic dialogue what-so-ever or any chemistry between any of the cast. Literally just felt like almost every piece of dialogue was the tired old "All men bad blah blah blah". Honestly tired of this crap being in modern movies so I will call it out.

2/10 pointless garbage.

Boring

[gab-67599 · 4/10 · 13 September 2022]

Good actors with nothing better to do. This movie sucked, I kept waiting for anything to happen. An hour and 19 mins into the movie it finally does, then it is over! Lame. Please do not watch this movie if you value your time. Not sure the point of even making a movie so unfulfilling. If you watch this one, be ready for long walking down the hall scenes. Also filled with plenty of boring conversation! Sad thing is I really like Long, albeit he was better fitted in comedy. I feel like this movie was below the bar for both of the leads in this movie. I guess if you enjoyed that movie Tusk he did then you will enjoy this one but for me it was just not my jam. I need more going on in a movie so I don't fall asleep!