- Pam Beesly: Let me make something clear. Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office.
- Jim Halpert: No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place.
- Pam Beesly: Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed.
- Jim Halpert: And a shower.
- Pam Beesly: Hey. How you doing?
- Darryl Philbin: Thinking about my grandmother a lot.
- Pam Beesly: Yeah.
- Darryl Philbin: She was about to turn 97.
- Pam Beesly: At least she lived a very long and I'm sure a very happy life. Got you this card. When you're ready. We all signed it. We just wanted you to know we're thinking about you.
- Darryl Philbin: Thank you. "Congratulations, Darryl. Let's get wasted." "Have fun today, big guy." "Aww, yeah. Party time. Whoo-whoop."
- Pam Beesly: It's possible that some people thought it was your birthday.
- Darryl Philbin: "Hooray. Live it up big D. " "Days like this don't come often enough. Time to celebrate. You deserve this"?
- Andy Bernard: Birthday punches!
- [softly punching Darryl in the stomach]
- Andy Bernard: One two three four five six seven eight...
- Pam Beesly: I'm so sorry.
- [tears well up in Darryl's eyes]
- Andy Bernard: ...thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five twenty-six!...
- Dwight Schrute: My perfect Valentine's day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.
- Ryan Howard: You wanted to have sex in my office.
- Pam Beesly: No.
- Jim Halpert: Definitely not. That's disgusting.
- Ryan Howard: It's cool. Just um, try to put everything back where you found it. Text me when you're finished... I'll be out here.
- Dwight Schrute: My name is J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-Jim Halpert and I will fax it in to you - under you. I'll fax it under you. Oh excuse me, I just p-p-p-p-pissed my pants.
- Michael Scott, Holly Flax: Ohhh.
- Michael Scott: No, we can't do that. We can't do this.
- Michael Scott, Holly Flax: Ohhh.
- Holly Flax: You're not touching me.
- Michael Scott: I don't know what your body feels like 'cause I can't touch it.
- Oscar Martinez: Okay, this is much worse than before.
- Kevin Malone: I agree. This is nasty.
- Michael Scott: I'll grab you here.
- Holly Flax: And here.
- Michael Scott: And I will grab you here anyway.
- Gabe Lewis: So, PDAs, that's gonna include behaviors such as hugging, kissing...
- Kevin Malone: Booby honking.
- Gabe Lewis: Yeah, booby honking, sure.
- Kevin Malone: Butt honking.
- Gabe Lewis: Butt honking, yep, all the honkings.