How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Garbage Island (2011)

Kyle MacLachlan: The Captain

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Captain : [At his study, The Captain talks to Ted about Zoey leaving him for another man]  Once upon a time, Zoey and I were happy, blissful as Arcadian shepherds. I was Poseidon, she my Amphitrite. I dare say, not even Scylla and Charybdis could not have torn us asunder. We had great big boners for each other! But then, enter the scoundrel.

  [imagines scene of Zoey watching horror movie with half-naked thick moustached version of Ted] 

  Zoey Pierson : Oh man, this movie is scary.

  Ted Mosby : [Scoundrel Ted]  I know, right?

  The Captain : [Back in reality]  I don't know who he is, but I pictured him with a mustache.

  Ted Mosby : Limit the search to guys with mustaches. Smart.

  The Captain : Anyway, soon the inevitable happened. She told me she was in love with someone else. Obviously, it made me angry.

  Ted Mosby : And the, that was the last time you saw her...

  The Captain : ...but I gathered my composure and told her I'd do anything to keep her. I begged her not to leave. We made love that night...

  Ted Mosby : [spits out drink]  It's damned good brandy.

• The Captain : Maritime Protocol demands physical retribution!