Outsourced (TV Series)

Guess Who's Coming to Delhi (2011)

Diedrich Bader: Charlie Davies

Quotes 

• Gupta : India is the largest democracy in the world. We invented chess, geometry and tandoori. When Colombus discovered your country, he was looking for Indian and our spices.

  Charlie Davies : Well, I can see how he got confused because there were already Indians in America.

  Gupta : No, Charlie, those Indians... bigger fish to fry. Let's get back to the flashcards.

  [holds up a picture of the God, Shiva] 

  Charlie Davies : That's the God, Shiva: destroyer, transformer. Kind of looks like the dude from "Avatar".

  Gupta : Many of them do. A lawsuit is pending.

  [holds up a picture of the Taj Mahal] 

  Charlie Davies : My gut is telling me Temple of Doom, but I'm going to say Taj Mahal because I think it's a trick question.

  Gupta : Very good.

  [holds up a picture of a decorated cow] 

  Charlie Davies : That's a cow in drag.

  Gupta : No, Charlie, the cow is decorated because it is sacred. We revere the cow for the milk it provides.

  Charlie Davies : It also provides meat. Why can't you worship it for that?

  Gupta : Think about it this way: when the cow is alive it can feed many people. When it is dead, it can only feed a few.

  Charlie Davies : Huh, I never thought about it like that.

  [Gupta hold up a picture of Mahatma Ghandi] 

  Charlie Davies : Pass.

  Gupta : If you knew a famous Indian, it would probably be him.

  Charlie Davies : Wait a minute, is that that guy over there.

  Gupta : No, it is not that man.

• Charlie Davies : America. We invented the light bulb, the computer, the swimsuit issue, spring break, the spork, hard shell tacos and the Beatles. USA.

  Gupta : Ask away.

  Charlie Davies : Tell me about this man.

  [holds up a picture of Martin Sheen] 

  Gupta : After fighting in Vietnam, he went on to become one of America's most beloved presidents.

  Charlie Davies : Okay, curveball coming.

  [holds up a picture of Texas] 

  Gupta : Mexico?

  Charlie Davies : Close enough. I also would have accepted California or Arizona. All right, where is this?

  [holds up a picture of the "Eiffel Tower"] 

  Gupta : [hesitates]  Paris... Paris Hotel Casino in Las Vegas?

  Charlie Davies : Correct. In Paris, people don't drink out of yard-long plastic cups.

  Gupta : Got it.

  Charlie Davies : Now, let's test your knowledge of American dogs.

  [starts throwing up flashcards quickly] 

  Gupta : Hot dog. Corn dog. Chili dog. Snoop Dogg.

  Charlie Davies : Very good.