- Mike Biggs: [Molly asked what Carl is doing in Mike's apartment with the door chain locked] He's probably in there doin' some broad.
- Molly Flynn: [Punches Mike's shoulder] Mike, that's disgusting!
- Mike Biggs: Sorry. He's in there making sweet love to some broad.
- Molly Flynn: [Punches him again] So, you're telling me right now he's in there having sex on our bed?
- Mike Biggs: I don't think so. Carl likes to stand and deliver.
- Molly Flynn: [Referring to Carl having sex in Mike's apartment] How often does this happen?
- Mike Biggs: I don't know. I gave him the key about four years ago. So, what is that...? Once every four years?
- Joyce Flynn: [to Mike who is backed up against the counter] What do you men want from us? We cook for you, we clean for you. We destroy our bodies giving you children!
- [to Molly and Victoria]
- Joyce Flynn: Not that I'd trade either one of you for my old boobs.
- Molly Flynn: [Trying to assure Mike that they aren't becoming less sexually active] Listen to me. I didn't say not at all or never again. I said not now. Okay?
- Mike Biggs: Okay. So, we're still in that hot, crazy, can't get enough of that funky stuff phase, right?
- Molly Flynn: Absolutely. If I didn't have to eat, bathe or earn a living, I'd never unwrap my legs from around your mighty torso.
- Mike Biggs: Really?
- Molly Flynn: Mm, hmm. Yep, 24-7. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
- Mike Biggs: [Smiling, extremely proud of himself] Alriiiight!
- Mike Biggs: What are you watching?
- Victoria Flynn: A very informative documentary on UFO's and extraterrestrials.
- Mike Biggs: Yeah, but, you don't actually believe that we've been visited by aliens, do ya?
- Victoria Flynn: [Gives him a look] Yes, I do. And they're not just visiting.
- [Softly]
- Victoria Flynn: They're here.
- Mike Biggs: Really.
- Victoria Flynn: [Dead serious] Haven't you ever been in a conversation with somebody and the whole time you're thinking, wow... this person's from another planet?
- Mike Biggs: [Looks her straight in the eye for a long moment] Yes.
- Mike Biggs: Hold on. Now you're telling me you believe in Bigfoot?
- Victoria Flynn: I didn't used to. Until I saw him running away from our campsite with a can of Pringles and a bag of weed.
- Mike Biggs: I see. So, Bigfoot stole marijuana from you.
- Victoria Flynn: That's messed up, right?
- Mike Biggs: Totally uncool, yeah.
- Victoria Flynn: What is camping without weed? I'll tell you what it is. It's just sleeping outside.
- Mike Biggs: You know, that's actually very true.
- Victoria Flynn: So, yes. I do believe in Bigfoot. And, yes. I think he's a total jerk.
- Joyce Flynn: You know, when I was young, I was considered quite the catch. And not just because I put out.
- Victoria Flynn: [Smiling] Hey, Mike. If I blaze up, are you gonna get all piggly wiggly on me?
- Mike Biggs: You know, Victoria. You don't need to get wasted to have a good time.
- Victoria Flynn: [Her smile drops and she looks completely confused] What are you talking about?
- Mike Biggs: I'm just saying that a person doesn't need drugs or alcohol to enjoy themselves.
- Victoria Flynn: [Still confused, she looks at him as if he's speaking another language] I'm not following you.
- Molly Flynn: Let's go to bed.
- Mike Biggs: Alright. But, we're not gonna have sex *every* night. You okay with that?
- Molly Flynn: No. You're puttin' out.