Photos
Quotes
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Gerard : Mark... what are you doing here?
Mark Corrigan : I could ask you the very same question, Judas!
Gerard : Well, Dobby didn't have anyone to come to the party with her, so I volunteered.
Mark Corrigan : How incredibly thoughtful, Brutus!
Gerard : Yes, well...
Mark Corrigan : You know very well that we had a deal...
[voiceover]
Mark Corrigan : Can't think of another one.
[to Gerard]
Mark Corrigan : Double-Judas!
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Gerard : Dobby's got a boyfriend.
Mark Corrigan : Oh, God. Really?
Gerard : His name's Simon and he's younger, slimmer, better-looking and more fashionable than us.
Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Us? I'm several social ranks your senior, that's the whole basis of our relationship, Gerard.
[to Gerard]
Mark Corrigan : So, what's he like?
Gerard : Graphic designer.
Mark Corrigan : Oh, please! "Hello, can I redesign your logo? Yes, that'll be a £100,000 for a squiggle."
[voiceover]
Mark Corrigan : Wish I was a graphic designer.
Gerard : And he drives an Audi.
Mark Corrigan : But of course, Vorsprung Dick Technik!
[voiceover]
Mark Corrigan : Wish I had an Audi.
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Gerard : Maybe for guys like us, Dobby was always a pipe dream.
Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Don't pull me into your filthy bathwater, I'm a player!
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[In a fantasy wargames shop]
Gerard : Yeah, so I've been hanging out here quite a bit since I got made redundant. It's cool.
Mark Corrigan : Yeah, it is... cool.
[voiceover]
Mark Corrigan : More like a honey trap for social retards. When the Normalo Nazis firebomb these places the geek race will be wiped out forever.
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Jeremy Usborne : Enjoy playing with soldiers and wanking over Dobby on Facebook.
Mark Corrigan : For God's sake, Jeremy. That's disgusting.
[Jeremy leaves]
Gerard : Did you ever actually, er...?
Mark Corrigan : Well, you know, on occasion.
Gerard : Corfu '06?
[Mark nods]
Gerard : It's cool, man. I mean, I've never actually gone that far myself. But everything's cool in Dobby Club.
Mark Corrigan : [voiceover] Ugh, we're the Dobby Club. Or the Dobby Ring. Can two people be a ring?
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Gerard : It may surprise you to know, but the truth is until I was 26 I'd never been with a woman.
Mark Corrigan : Uh, yes, you do surprise me.
[voiceover]
Mark Corrigan : You've been with a woman?
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Gerard : Look, nothing's going on, all right? We're just having a drink.
Mark Corrigan : I think you're doing a little more than that.
[picks up a bag of pork scratchings]
Mark Corrigan : No doubt once you've finished these and she's sufficiently high on E numbers, you'll try and supply her with another pork product whose name I don't think needs to be said out loud!
