How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Canning Randy (2010)

Will Forte: Randy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marshall Eriksen : This just isn't working out.

  Randy Wharmpess : [Thinking]  I'm fired, great. This is the candle kiosk at the mall all over again. Wait a minute... I get a severance check! If I don't shred it, I can use that money to start my own brewery! Imagine a beer with my name on it! Randy Wharmpess, this is the best day of your life!

• Randy Wharmpess : Okay, you win. Maybe trashing your office was a mistake. It's just, as along as I can remember, making beer has been my dream.

  [Pulls out a beer] 

  Randy Wharmpess : Wharmpess?

  [Marshall takes it] 

  Randy Wharmpess : I know it sounds dumb to someone who's already achieved his dream. Big time lawyer at a huge corporation.

  Marshall Eriksen : You think working here is my dream?

  Randy Wharmpess : Of course. Anyway, I'll clean this stuff up, have someone get that dead squirrel out of your desk.

  Marshall Eriksen : Randy... This is delicious. You're fired

• GNB's ad voiceover : [Goliath National Bank's ad]  What makes Goliath National Bank different from other big banks? Here at GNB, We Care.

  Barney Stinson : [holding a recycling bin]  I care about our precious Earth.

  [puts in spent soft drink can] 

  Randy Wharmpess : [opening the door for an old woman]  I care about old people.

  Arthur Hobbs : I care about high-yield, offshore investments, and so does Tugboat here. Isn't that right, Tugboat?

  [plays with dog] 

  Marshall Eriksen : [at his office, eating salad]  Okay, get that camera out of my face before I flip you like a cheese omelet!

• Robin Scherbatsky : God, your nose is bleeding like a faucet.

  Randy Wharmpess : Yeah, I'm sorry this happens every time I get an erection.