Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel (2010)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : Do you have any idea how long it would take me to earn that kind of money?

  Charlie Harper : Oh, don't think like that. You're never gonna earn that kind of money!

• Charlie Harper : [Removes his sunglasses, revealing bruised eyes]  Bar fight.

  Alan Harper : Oh, no! What happened?

  Charlie Harper : Some bikers were giving a stripper a hard time, so I jumped in.

  Alan Harper : You're kidding.

  Charlie Harper : You know me. I can't stand to see a naked, high-heeled, glitter-covered, Ping-Pong-ball-shooting woman in distress!

• Kendra : [Charlie is preparing for cosmetic surgery and Kendra, an attractive nurse, enters the room]  Mr. Harper?

  Charlie Harper : Call me Charlie.

  Kendra : All right, Charlie. Call me Kendra.

  Charlie Harper : Can I call you Nurse Kendra?

  Kendra : If you like.

  Charlie Harper : Oh, I like!