House M.D. (TV Series)

Larger Than Life (2011)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

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Quotes 

• Dr. James Wilson : [after Arlene passes out because House drugged her]  Leaving aside the fact that House is a sociopath, I have to admit that I'm - I'm honestly relieved. Your mom is quite a - quite a handful.

  Dr. James Wilson : What?... I feel fu...

  [Wilson realizes House drugged him] 

  Dr. James Wilson : Oh, you've got to be kidding me!

  [Starts speaking in gibberish and passes out] 

  Dr. Gregory House : Sorry. I honestly thought you'd be worse.

• Martha Masters : So humanity is apathetic and self-serving?

  Dr. Gregory House : Yeah.

• Arlene : My own daughter is a doctor. She makes a hobby of dismissing my concerns.

  Dr. Gregory House : She sounds smart.

  Arlene : Did she tell you to say that?

  Dr. Gregory House : [House scoffs]  I've never met your daughter.

  Arlene : That's hard to believe since you're currently shtupping her.

• Dr. Gregory House : [about Masters]  God! She's still talking. Make it stop.

  Dr. Robert Chase : House's world view doesn't include random acts of self-sacrifice. He's gonna count heroism as a symptom until proven otherwise.

• Dr. Gregory House : [House turns around finds Wilson and Cuddy]  I forgot. you guys talk. Look, no offense to either of you, but dinner with your mom? Come on, I- I have to act like a decent human being, and you know what a strain that puts on me. And *you*. Ever since you broke up with Sam, you've done nothing but mope and whine. It's an unbelievable bummer.

  Dr. James Wilson : And just what is so exciting you have to blow off both of us to do it?

  Dr. Gregory House : I just want to sit on my couch in my underwear, drink Scotch and watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey... by myself. I just want one night off. Is that so much to ask?

  Dr. James Wilson , Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Yes!

• Martha Masters : Why is your assumption of his guilt more valid than my assumption of his selflessness?

  Dr. Gregory House : Because my assumption is backed up by millions of men, and Taub, who've cheated on their wives. Find the girl and the love nest. Every hero has his Kryptonite.

• Arlene : I've got a train to catch.

  Dr. Gregory House : I thought you were staying till Sunday.

  Arlene : I'm coming down with a cold. Every time I stay with Lisa or her sister, one of those rugrats gets me sick. Children are awful.

• Arlene : [to House]  So, say you two got married. Would you convert to Judaism?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : We haven't gotten that far, mom.

  Dr. James Wilson : That's actually a really interesting question.

  Dr. Gregory House : I'm an atheist.

  Arlene : Honey, half the Jews I know are atheists. It's about community.