Eric & Ernie (2011 TV Movie)

Vic Reeves: George Bartholomew

Quotes 

• Sadie Bartholomew : Do you know what's holding 'em back?

  George Bartholomew : The War?

• [Eric and Ernie have just done their first television show and it has received very poor newspaper reviews. Even Eric's mother thinks it was a disaster] 

  Sadie Bartholomew : [shouting]  I can't show me face outside the house! I think we're going to have to move! I told you time and time again to trust your own material! I drummed it into you! And what do you do the moment me back's turned? You forget *everything*!

  [Eric walks off and finds his dad sitting alone] 

  Eric Morecambe : Can I borrow your bike?

  George Bartholomew : Where are you planning on going?

  Eric Morecambe : Anywhere that they don't have televisions.

  George Bartholomew : You could try Barrow-on-Furness. You'll soon be back - people'll forget.

  Eric Morecambe : They won't forget this.

  [Eric shows George a newspaper cutting of a TV critic's article] 

  Eric Morecambe : Here, read that.

  George Bartholomew : "Definition of a TV - the box they buried Morecambe and Wise in last night". You know what I think. There's nothing harder to find than yesterday's paper.

• [Eric's mother is pushing him into a career as a dancer, but his heart isn't in it. He has just won a children's talent competition doing an embarrassing song-and-dance routine] 

  George Bartholomew : [conspiratorially, to Eric]  Never mind, son. Happen you'll lose next time.

  Sadie Bartholomew : [grimly]  I heard that!

• [Sadie is searching frantically under the bed and emerges holding a suitcase full of papers] 

  George Bartholomew : What the bloody hell are you doing?

  Sadie Bartholomew : Finding them new material. I'll get Eric to go round to Ernie's tomorrow. Bash their heads together.

  George Bartholomew : No, Sadie!

  Sadie Bartholomew : What do you mean, "no"? Push, push, push. That's what I do. It's what our Eric needs.

  George Bartholomew : Well maybe it's time you stopped pushing.

  Sadie Bartholomew : You saying I pushed him into it?

  George Bartholomew : Nobody's saying that, Sadie. You were right to push him and I'm glad you did. But... what I saying is... *He's* got to do the pushing now. *He's* got to go down to Ernie. He's got to do it for himself. He's got to *want* to do it himself.

  Sadie Bartholomew : Well, beggar me! You don't put your foot down for twenty-five years of married life, and when you finally do, you're wrong!