- Joy Scroggs: What's happening now?
- Victoria Chase: Oh, she's making some sappy speech, and he's overplaying it like crazy. Like one of those warm moments on 'Glee'.
- Melanie Moretti: [at the airport] Anders, Joy and Victoria told me everything. But, before you get on that airplane, I really need to tell you how I feel. You are the biggest
- [metal detector beeps]
- Melanie Moretti: . You
- [metal detector beeps]
- Melanie Moretti: cheated on me while we were married and then you used me to cheat on your
- [metal detector beeps]
- Melanie Moretti: fiancee because you don't know what
- [wand beeps]
- Melanie Moretti: you want. You are a selfish
- [wand beeps]
- Melanie Moretti: who doesn't think about anybody else but himself, so you know what? You can just go
- [wand beeps]
- Melanie Moretti: yourself!
- Eleanor: Really saw that going another way.
- Melanie Moretti: [stumbles walking away] Ooh, puppy-tails!
- [first lines]
- Victoria Chase: Mel! Your taxi's here!
- Melanie Moretti: Oh, okay, coming.
- [stumbles on the stairs]
- Melanie Moretti: Oh, puppy-tails!
- Victoria Chase: Melanie, please. Language. What, is that what you're wearing on the plane?
- Joy Scroggs: Mmm, someone's looking to get bumped to first class.
- Melanie Moretti: Why, no. As soon as I get to New York, I have to rush straight to Jenna's play; I'm not going to have time to change.
- Joy Scroggs: That's a lot of boobage for your daughter's play.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Nice girls keep their cookies in a jar.
- Melanie Moretti: Yes, I know, but Jenna set me up with one of her friends' fathers and we're going out to dinner after.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Well, in that case, tits ahoy!
- Joy Scroggs: What's going on here? I thought you went to the dance with Max last night.
- Elka Ostrovsky: I did. But then Nick asked me to dance, and one thing led to another...
- Victoria Chase: You cheated on Max?
- Elka Ostrovsky: Twice! First a waltz, and then a polka!
- Victoria Chase: But that's it? You danced?
- Elka Ostrovsky: A *polka*! The Polish forbidden dance of love!
- Victoria Chase: So. Nick is *not* going to take no for an answer, huh?
- Elka Ostrovsky: No. I've never been in a triangle before. You girls are slutty; what would you do?
- Joy Scroggs: Geometry's more Victoria's specialty; she's been into triangles, squares...
- Victoria Chase: Yeah, I was almost in a hexagon once, but at the last minute the twins dropped out.
- Joy Scroggs: [about Anders] He breaks up with his bimbo, then comes running back to Melanie; that's just morally wrong. I say we kill him!
- Joy Scroggs: We can't do anything now; I mean we're in girl-friend purgatory. If we tell her to dump him and they end up getting re-married, then we're screwed. But if we don't say anything and he ends up breaking her heart again, we're screwed.
- Joy Scroggs: [Melanie has agreed to go out with Anders] We're screwed.
- Victoria Chase: Screwed, stewed and tattooed. From a Tennessee Williams play. I played Esmeralda in summer stock.
- Joy Scroggs: You know, I didn't think you'd be able to make this about yourself. I underestimated you.
- Melanie Moretti: [stumbles on the stairs] Oh, sugar-foot. I always trip on that gosh-darn step.
- Victoria Chase: Oh, it's like a Mamet play in here.