The IT Crowd (TV Series)

Italian for Beginners (2010)

Richard Ayoade: Maurice Moss

Quotes 

• Moss : You're going Close Encounters-crazy, Roy!

• Moss : These toys may smell of wee come the morn.

• Moss : A *fire*?

  Roy Trenneman : That's right. At the sea lion show, apparently.

  Jen Barber : Aren't those shows usually out in the open?

  Roy Trenneman : Well, yeah, I mean that's what I would've... Yeah.

  Jen Barber : Lots of water everywhere.

  Roy Trenneman : Yeah, I mean, I would imagine a whale need a lot of water. I don't think you can have whale in a place where there isn't a huge amount of water.

  Jen Barber : It just seem like a weird place to go on fire.

  Roy Trenneman : It's a *very* weird place to go on fire.

• Moss : It's a Sea Parks, isn't it? You're building a Sea Parks out of mashed potatoes.

  Roy Trenneman : There are twelve exits, Moss. Twelve exits! For only 200 people.

  Moss : You're going Close Encounters-crazy, Roy! You need to let it go.

  Roy Trenneman : To have killed anyone the fire has to start, here, here, and here. And close in like this. But, how is it spreaded? There is no wood in a Sea Parks arena. And why there is no wood? Because it rots. And why does it rots? Because of all the water...

• Jen Barber : It's not that much of a lie, Moss. Because I have always wanted to speaks Italian... and I can sound like I'm speaking Italian, so it's... more or less the same thing.

  Moss : Yeah, except to Italian. Or people who can understand Italian.

• Roy Trenneman : Her parent died in a fire.

  Jen Barber : Oh, God. I'm sorry, that's horrible.

  Roy Trenneman : Yeah, yeah, it was a fire... At Sea Parks.

  Moss : [after a pause]  Sea Parks?

  Roy Trenneman : Yeah.

  Jen Barber : With the...

  Roy Trenneman : With the whales and everything, yeah...

• Jen Barber : How is Julia, The Orphan?

  Roy Trenneman : Don't call her that.

  Moss : Why?

  Jen Barber : It was the first thing you told us about her.

  Moss : I totally think of her as Julia The Orphan.

  Roy Trenneman : Well get out of the habit of it. What if it slips out when you meet her in person?

  Jen Barber : I'm hardly likely to say "Hello, Julia The Orphan." To her am I?

  Moss : I totally would say that to her.

  Roy Trenneman : Yeah, I know you would.

  Moss : But she's still an orphan, right?

  Roy Trenneman : Yes. Her parents haven't come back to life.