Psych (TV Series)

Romeo and Juliet and Juliet (2010)

David Milchard: Clerk

Quotes 

• Shawn Spencer : Excuse me, I'm here for a class.

  Clerk : This class?

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah, I believe it starts in...

  Clerk : Five minutes.

  Shawn Spencer : Right, five minutes from now. I'm usually 10 minutes early, so I'm already feeling behind.

  Clerk : This class is for five- to eight-year-olds.

  Shawn Spencer : Yes. Yes, it is. And, uh, that's what I call...

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Discrimination.

  [points at the clerk triumphantly] 

  Clerk : Discrimination?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Yes, and ageism.

  Clerk : Who are you?

  [gestures vacantly to buy himself time] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm his lawyer.

  Shawn Spencer : That's right.

  Clerk : You brought a lawyer?

  Shawn Spencer : I keep a lawyer on retainer at all times. There is so much injustice in the world that you practically can't leave home without one. And apparently, today it paid off.

  Clerk : Right, okay. Well, I will see you in court, then. Now...

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Perfect. Now I need a statement from you. And as we plan to try this in both civil and criminal court, I'll need the police here as well. Can I use your phone, or do you only let the white people use that?

  Clerk : Who said anything about white people?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You just did.

  Clerk : The words "white people" did not come out of my mouth.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : There they are again. Luckily, I had my hand recorder on for that one. By the way, I am now disclosing that this conversation is being recorded.

  Clerk : Recorded? Okay, this is crazy.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Crazy? You wanna know crazy? I sued 300 businesses last year alone. I sued a hot dog cart and got everything but the wheels and the buns, which I won in the civil case two months later. Now, if you don't mind, before I start snapping evidence photos, I'm a little parched, so can you tell me which one of these fountains I'm allowed to use?