Royal Pains (TV Series)

Mulligan (2011)

Mark Feuerstein: Hank Lawson

Quotes 

• Dr. Hank Lawson : I like problems I can fix, Evan. It's why I'm a doctor.

• Jill Casey : [laughing]  Oh. Hank, have you been working out?

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Uh, a little, but...

  Jill Casey : [feeling Hank's biceps]  Oh, my goodness. These are amazing! Look, Divya...

  Divya Katdare : [covering Jill's mouth, and pushing her back onto the bed]  Okay. You know what, Jill? Why don't we lay you down for some rest? She should get some rest.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Yeah. Jack, why don't you...

  Jack O'Malley : [turning to leave]  That's a good idea.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Uh, yeah.

  [Hank and Jack leave, leaving Divya with Jill] 

  Divya Katdare : Please stop licking my hand.

• Eddie R. Lawson : I have a confession to make.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Oh, God. Here we go. What?

  Eddie R. Lawson : I can't swim. There, I said it. Okay. Eddie R. Lawson cannot swim. I can't even dog paddle to safety.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : What are you talk... we used to swim all the time when we were little. I remember, we...

  Eddie R. Lawson : No, you remember me *saying* I could swim, me bragging about how much of a... like a fish I was. That was just all talk.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : All right, all right. Okay. So you can't swim. You're telling me this why?

  Eddie R. Lawson : Because when I told you I could swim, that was the first lie I ever told you.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Okay. So... But why lie about that? I...

  Eddie R. Lawson : Because I didn't want to be the guy who couldn't do everything. I wanted to be your hero.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : We didn't need you to be our hero.

  Eddie R. Lawson : I needed it. You know how some people have, like, um, a near death experience, and it just changes their life?

  Dr. Hank Lawson : That happen to you?

  Eddie R. Lawson : No, I'm too old to have anything change me. But I swear to you, there was a moment when I saw you and Evan as little boys.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Yeah, when you had your heart attack, there was a moment... I thought we were gonna lose you.

  Eddie R. Lawson : Really?

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Yeah. And I realized I don't want to lose you. I couldn't. I can't. I... I guess what I'm trying to say is, uh... I want you to stick around, to be our dad.

  Eddie R. Lawson : You're giving me a second chance.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Call it a mulligan.

• Divya Katdare : I crossed an unacceptable line. I became involved with a patient.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : You did?

  Divya Katdare : I kissed him. But I ended it. And I will, of course, in no way continue to treat him medically.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : That's why you're flying out to London tonight. See Raj.

  Divya Katdare : I can only imagine how furious you are with me. It was highly unprofessional. And if you need me to, I will resign from HankMed, effective immediately.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Resign? Please. I... No. I don't care about that. What I care about is you. Are you okay?

  Divya Katdare : [on the verge of tears]  No. No, I'm not. But I've got it under control.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Is there anything I can do?

  Divya Katdare : [starting to cry]  No. No, but, uh... oh, but thank you so much for being you.

• Jill Casey : I can't believe I didn't feel a spider biting me.

  Divya Katdare : Well, you were thrown out of a golf cart. Your mind may have been elsewhere.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : A black widow bite isn't so bad if you catch it early.

  Divya Katdare : You may feel groggy or even a little loopy.

  Jill Casey : Jack, I'm really sorry about this.

  Jack O'Malley : What are you apologizing for?

  Jill Casey : Well, we were this close to winning.

  Jack O'Malley : You know what? We'll get 'em next year, killer. Plus, now we don't have the pressure of having to repeat.

  Jill Casey : Repeat?

  Jack O'Malley : Pardon?

  Jill Casey : [groggily]  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat! Hank, that's funny, right?

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Uh, yeah.

  Jill Casey : "Uh, yeah." How cute are you when you're being all doctor-y? He's so cute. Isn't he cute? He's like... he's like this little puppy, you know? You wanna scratch him behind the ears and scratch him on the belly.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : [trying to laugh it off]  Okay. Um...

  Divya Katdare : Clearly, someone's medication has kicked in.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Yeah, we're... we're friends.

  Jill Casey , Jack O'Malley : Hmm. You know, Hank is the best. He really is. Hank, you're the best. And I miss you, Hank. I really miss you.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : You know, good friends.

  Jill Casey : Ah, we used to be more than that, Hanky Panky.

  Dr. Hank Lawson : Really good friends. Uh, and for the record, that's the first time she's ever called me that.

  Jack O'Malley : Okay.

  Divya Katdare : All righty, then.

• [Evan's insistence upon discussing lawyers and jail time sets off Eddie's heart monitor] 

  Hank Lawson : Evan, let's get him healthy, then you can kill him.

• [Evan gets miffed over Hank not expressing enough concern as he himself for their father's legal troubles while Hank looks up alternative treatments for Jack] 

  Evan R. Lawson : That's it?

  Hank Lawson : I got a work thing here, okay?

  Evan R. Lawson : Okay. Forgive me for thinking our father, who just had a heart attack and is most likely headed for federal prison, might interest you more than a work thing.

  [rudely closes Hank's laptop] 

  Hank Lawson : What do you want me to do, Ev?

  Evan R. Lawson : Maybe care a little bit.

  Hank Lawson : I do care. Okay?

  [reopens his laptop] 

  Evan R. Lawson : It's a funny way of showing it.

  Hank Lawson : Wha... what do you want me to do, obsess?

  [laughs and gets back to work] 

  Evan R. Lawson : I see what this is. This is you gloating.

  Hank Lawson : Oh, what? What are you... What are you talking about?

  Evan R. Lawson : You've been suspicious of Dad since day one. I always said you were wrong, but you weren't wrong. You were right, so now this is you sittin' there being all... right.

  Hank Lawson : [turns to address Evan]  I am not gloating. It's just... I don't need to know the gory details of HOW wrong you were or I was or he is. It won't fix anything, and it'll only make me angry, and I am... tired of being angry.

• Dick : Would you autograph my balls?

  Hank Lawson : Maybe when I get to know you better.

• Evan R. Lawson : My point is that everything Dad did, he did to be with us.

  Hank Lawson : Yeah, and my point is that you learned that from his criminal defense attorney.

  Evan R. Lawson : You see, this is why people like me better than you, Hank. You're a gray cloud, and I'm a silver lining myself.

  Hank Lawson : Wait. People like you better than me?

  Evan R. Lawson : They will, when they find out about my new yacht.

• Hank Lawson : Did you know it's bad form to injure yourself at a charity tournament benefitting a hospital?