The Cleveland Show (TV Series)

Like a Boss (2011)

Mike Henry: Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs

Quotes 

• Hadassah Lowenstein : Rallo Tubbs, please place your hand on this Amazon Kindle with the Bible loaded on it and recite the oath.

  Rallo : [places his hand on the Kindle]  I, Rallo Tubbs, do solemnly swear to protect this turtle and feed him the pellets that look the same going in as they do coming out. In the name of the Father, the Son.

  Hadassah Lowenstein : Nah... eh, there's no need for any of that hocus-pocus.

• Donna Tubbs : Cleveland, you do realize that if you got that promotion you could do all that stuff yourself and make even more money in the process?

  Cleveland Brown : Be my own puppet, you say? Interesting.

  [while holding a puppet of himself] 

  Cleveland Brown : Party over here! Oh, that's nasty. Hooray!

  [laughs] 

  Cleveland Brown : Oh. Creepy.

  Donna Tubbs : And then I would become the first lady of Waterman Cable.

  Cleveland Brown : Well, technically, Lydia Waterman is the first lady.

  Donna Tubbs : Then I would be the Jill Biden of Waterman Cable. I'd be the Jill Biden of Waterman Cable and I'd finally be able to tell all those bitches at the supermarket to suck it.

• Rallo : [to Cleveland Jr]  Where's Turt?

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : Rallo, we gotta talk. There's a few things you gotta know about Turt: One, he could talk, two, he was a dick and three, I put him in the storm drain.

• Tim the Bear : [to Cleveland]  How many things on the list did you find?

  Cleveland Brown : None.

  Tim the Bear : Well, how hard did you look?

  Cleveland Brown : Not hard.

  Tim the Bear : You know, Cleveland, you might want to think about changing your 'tude, dude.

  Cleveland Brown : You're an idiot. This whole weekend's an idiot.

• Cleveland Brown : Oh, my God, we're lost in the woods. Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay. It's okay, it's okay. Just breathe.

  Cleveland Brown : What are you worried about? You're a bear.

  Tim the Bear : I'm scared of the woods. Why do you think I bought a house, man?

• Cleveland Brown : [to Tim]  Look at you. You stink in the office and you stink in the woods. You're a bum. You're not even good at being a bear.

  Tim the Bear : Oh, yeah? Well, you have a bad work ethic. Yeah, I went there.

  Cleveland Brown : How dare you? I ran a Rhode Island delicatessen that Big Fat Paulie went into one time.

  Tim the Bear : I didn't even want this stupid promotion. Arianna wanted it. Hey, you want the job so bad, you be the boss.

  Cleveland Brown : I don't wanna be the boss. Donna wanted me to be the boss.

  Tim the Bear : Wow. I guess if it weren't for our horrible nagging wives, none of this would've happened.

  Cleveland Brown : Huh. I guess you're right. Once again, it's our wives' fault.

• Rallo : [to Mrs. Lowenstein]  Why are you giving out turtles if you know we gonna lose them?

  Hadassah Lowenstein : To teach you kids that you're too young to have sex. If you can't take care of a turtle, how are you supposed to take care of a baby?

  Rallo : I'm not. I'm five.

  Hadassah Lowenstein : Exactly. So keep it in your pants, mister.