Community (TV Series)

Basic Rocket Science (2010)

Jim Rash: Dean Pelton

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dean Pelton : Where are you hooligans? Bring my spaceship back!

  [Troy consults the navigation chart] 

  Troy Barnes : Uh, we appear to be forty light years outside of the Buttermilk Nebula. Although, I think that...

  [picks at the screen and peels it] 

  Troy Barnes : Yeah, it's a sticker.

• Abed Nadir : After we clean it, can we go inside?

  Dean Pelton : No. That is a job for some upstanding students who are training right now in the Simulator Simulator.

  Leonard : [sitting in a cardboard box, childishly painted to look like a flight simulator]  Great job on this. Hard to believe I'm not really not really in space.

• Jeff Winger : Assuming we don't wind up in a compactor, when we get back, I am going to step on you.

  Dean Pelton : As much as I might enjoy that, if you don't get back in time for the launch, City College wins, and Greendale becomes just another school on my resume that no one can call because it doesn't exist.

• Dean Pelton : I think you know the reason this group has been chosen for this job. To atone for the obscene entry you submitted in the Greendale school flag contest. That's right, I know that this isn't a symbol for the crossroads of ideas, I now know it's a butt.

  [Everybody snickers] 

  Dean Pelton : Yeah, keep snickering. Pack yourselves with peanuts and really be satisfied, but guess what. This won. This is now our school flag forever. Proud of yourselves?

• Annie Edison : Guys, please! You're becoming animals!

  Britta Perry : Oh, shut up! We wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you.

  Annie Edison : That's not true! We weren't supposed to be in here when it happened!

  Jeff Winger : When what happened? When we got towed?

  Shirley Bennett : How did you know we were gonna get towed?

  Shirley Bennett : I set it up. I called City College about transferring and the dean told me that he would get me in if I helped sabotage Greendale's launch. I was supposed to make sure nobody was around so they could steal it. And then you guys were late, and then...

  Britta Perry : Wait, wait, you're transferring? Why?

  [Pierce muttering] 

  Britta Perry : You guys thought that butt hole flag was so funny. I mean, I respect you all to let you hate yourselves, but I respect myself too much to let you hate my school.

  Shirley Bennett : Eh... I'm not buying it.

  Troy Barnes : Yeah, let's kill her.

  [Annie's gasps] 

  Jeff Winger : Wait, City College was behind this? We gotta get back in time for launch.

  Britta Perry : Why?

  Jeff Winger : We earned the right to pick on Greendale every day by going there. Our school may be a toilet, but it's our toilet. Nobody craps in it but us.

  Britta Perry : Yeah.

  Shirley Bennett : Now, that was inspiring.

  Annie Edison : Seriously?

  Jeff Winger : Captain.

  Troy Barnes : Get to your stations. Thrusters.

  Britta Perry : Full.

  Troy Barnes : Thermal shield.

  Annie Edison : On.

  Troy Barnes : Navigation.

  Shirley Bennett : Three.

  Troy Barnes : Chicken.

  Jeff Winger : Yeah.

  Troy Barnes : Ready?

  Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Jeff Winger , Shirley Bennett : Ready.

  Troy Barnes : Suppertime.

  [whirring] 

  Troy Barnes : [beeps]  Hold it.

  [beeping] 

  Troy Barnes : [midi celebratory music plays over simulator] 

  Sanders : Congratulations, crew. You've worked together. Now feast your eyes on the wonders of the cosmos.

  Troy Barnes : [over radio]  Greendale? Greendale?

  Abed Nadir : Everybody, be quiet. Everybody, quiet down, quiet down. Say again?

  Troy Barnes : [over radio]  Standby for location.

  [window cover opens] 

  Troy Barnes : [outside cow moos] 

  Abed Nadir : What do you see, gang?

  Jeff Winger : [Jeff holds his blackberry against window glass for better service] 

  [cow moos] 

  Jeff Winger : We are in...

  [over radio] 

  Jeff Winger : Coldwater.

  Abed Nadir : [consults map]  Here, they're next to the truck stop with three thumbs.

  Dean Pelton : [under his breath]  Those aren't thumbs.

  Jeff Winger : [over radio]  Greendale, do you copy? Greendale?

  Abed Nadir : I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm afraid...

  [over radio] 

  Abed Nadir : you're out of town.

  [cows mooing] 

• Abed Nadir : Kentucky One? Do you read me? Kentucky One? Kentucky One, do you read me? Kentucky One, copy. Kentucky, come in, Kentucky.

  Ben Chang : [Chang rushes to Abed]  I've worked out a way for them to reroute the power from the auxiliary battery.

  Abed Nadir : Reroute to what?

  [Chang's smile fades as he slowly backs away] 

  Dean Pelton : Everybody... here is the situation.

  [Pelton opens a map] 

  Dean Pelton : This is Greendale. This is the maximum distance from Greendale we can drive to haul them back up here in time for the simulated launch. And these are city impound lots, any of which might be their destination.

  Abed Nadir : What are these other circles?

  Dean Pelton : What other circles?

  Abed Nadir : Looks like you've circled public restrooms and truck stops. Yeah, there's another one.

  Dean Pelton : Okay, that is a different side of the map and that is for a different project.

  Abed Nadir : Why do they have star ratings?

  Dean Pelton : [emphatically]  Let's get to work, people.