Community (TV Series)
Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking (2011)
Gillian Jacobs: Britta Perry
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : [pretending to be Jeff's estranged father] Hi. I'm Jeff's dad. Hi.
Jeff Winger : [pretending to be Britta's dad] Oh, hi Jeff's dad. I'm Britta's dad.
Britta Perry : What? Why?
Jeff Winger : I don't know. Got drunk, didn't have a condom, and her mom gets freaky when she hears Oingo Boingo.
Britta Perry : Oh, God, I wish I could relate, but, much like my son, I'm a closet homosexual.
Jeff Winger : Don't apologize for that. You're talking to the guy that banged Britta's mom. I have NO standards!
Britta Perry : Well, what do you say we take a tumble? I'll put on a wig.
Jeff Winger : That's it, you're under arrest; I'm an undercover cop.
Britta Perry : It's not illegal to be gay.
Jeff Winger : It is here in Iran.
Britta Perry : Not if we're in the Green Zone.
Jeff Winger : That's Iraq, stupid.
Britta Perry : Well, what do I know? I'm Jeff Winger's dumb, gay dad!
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Britta Perry : Knock Knock.
Pierce Hawthorne : Is that you death?
Britta Perry : It's Britta.
Pierce Hawthorne : Oh.
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LeVar Burton : Hey, you know, I assumed that Troy was a fan, but he hasn't said a word to me since I got here, and now I've gotta catch this flight...
Britta Perry : No, no, you can't go. He loves you. He talks about you all the time. How much would it cost to change your flight till tomorrow? Is $261 enough? Because that's all I've got.
LeVar Burton : That's all you've got?
Britta Perry : Yeah.
[chuckles]
LeVar Burton : No, you...
[chuckles]
LeVar Burton : you keep your money. I'll... I'll reschedule.
Britta Perry : Oh, my God. Thank you. He's gonna be so happy.
LeVar Burton : You know, you are a very generous friend. But you're really stupid with your money.
Britta Perry : It's not that I'm selfish. It's just that I'm really stupid with my money. Which is why I'll never have a lot of it. And because I'm a really generous friend. Problem solved, dilemma deleted. Britta for the win! Oh. Thank God he didn't take it. Could you imagine bouncing a check to Kunta Kinte?
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Britta Perry : What are you gonna say to your dad?
Jeff Winger : I'm not gonna say anything, because I won't have to, because Pierce is playing head games with us.
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Britta Perry : I did it, I gave away the money. The Red Cross. You know what that makes me? A terrible person, because if that camera wasn't on me, I would have taken that money right out of the mouths of crippled, starving, malaria-ridden refugee kids. And now I know that forever. Thanks, Pierce.
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Shirley Bennett : Britta, you've got to forgive yourself. Look at me, I've forgiven all of you for the horrible things...
[Britta snatches the CD from Shirley and walks quickly]
Shirley Bennett : Oh, for crying out loud Shirley, we're gonna listen to it.
[Shirley chases after]
Shirley Bennett : I don't wanna listen to it. Britta, please. Britta. Britta, wait. Britta.
[Britta loads the CD on player]
Shirley Bennett : [on recording] I'll be right back. Don't learn anything without me.
Pierce Hawthorne : [on recording] So how much do we all hate Shirley?
Annie Edison : [on recording] Pierce, knock it off.
Jeff Winger : [on recording] Hey, James Bond, stop trying to record us with that stupid spy pen.
Abed Nadir : [on recording] We can see the blinking light. Troy:
Troy Barnes : [on recording] Why do you keep trying to record us bad-mouthing each other?
Jeff Winger : Because, he thinks friendship is a competition, and he's trying to get the upper hand.
Pierce Hawthorne : You think Shirley's any different?
Britta Perry , Annie Edison , Jeff Winger , Abed Nadir , Troy Barnes : [on recording] Yes.
Jeff Winger : Moron.
Shirley Bennett : Hello.
Britta Perry : I guess we do owe you an apology. We shouldn't have said those things about you.
Shirley Bennett : [cut to Shirley in a storage closet] I guess the lesson here is that I sometimes use guilt as a weapon.
Abed Nadir : [Abed enters] What are you doing?
Shirley Bennett : Oh, just shooting a talking head or did you want me to be the only one who didn't have one?
Abed Nadir : No, go ahead.
[Abed exits]
Shirley Bennett : I think it stems from when I was...
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Jeff Winger : You know what? No. He'll see Jeff next.
Nurse : No, but you're not supposed to go...
Jeff Winger : Or what? You'll do twice as much work as the doctor for half the pay?
Nurse : Thank you?
Britta Perry : Called a "complisult." Part compliment, part insult. He invented them, I coined the term. See what I just did there? That was an "explanabrag."
