- Principal Lewis: Snot, you're Jewish; you'll be in charge of the money. Steve, you'll be in charge of watching Snot because I don't trust Jews. Come on, let's go play some blackjack!
- Snot: Now? But we have geometry class.
- Principal Lewis: I'll write you a note.
- [writing]
- Principal Lewis: "Dear Math Bitch, These kids ain't showing up. Love, your main man. P.S. One plus one equals the two of us. Plus one more would be nice though. Maybe Jill from the cafeteria. Or your sister Lisa - you know, when she's legal."
- Steve Smith: OK, so Megan Fox and Seth Rogen come out of a room containing only one chair. Do you sniff the chair?
- Stan Smith: Stop. Where's Roger?
- Roger the Alien: I left in the middle of the song. It turned into all gibberish, and I won't be a part of it.