- Leonard Hofstadter: I thought you were with your new friends.
- Sheldon Cooper: I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.
- [Usual gang and Priya are gossiping about Sheldon]
- Howard Wolowitz: Raj, did you ever tell your sister about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?
- Priya: Oh, God! You're kidding?
- Raj Koothrappali: Nope. Gates gave a speech at the university. Sheldon went up to him afterward and said, "Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa, you could've put a little more thought into Windows Vista."
- [all laugh]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Bam! Right in the nose. Made me proud to own a PC.
- [Sheldon's guests are singing karaoke. All have been drinking, and Stuart is still in towels from taking a shower]
- Stuart, Kripke, Zack: [singing] I'm walking on sunshine... who-oo...
- Levar Burton: [arrives at party late, and enters] Hello, I...
- Levar Burton: [Sees strange guests and backs out of doorway] Oh, I don't think so...
- Levar Burton: [walking down stairs] I am so done with Twitter.
- Sheldon Cooper: Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, hot tub is the generic term, i.e., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
- Zack: Is that like all thumbs are fingers, but not all fingers are thumbs?
- Sheldon Cooper: Surprisingly, yes.
- Zack: Nice. Now, what exactly are toes?
- [Sheldon has come over to Raj's after his get-together didn't go the way he wanted it to]
- Sheldon Cooper: [knocking on front door] All my friends?
- [knocking]
- Sheldon Cooper: All my friends?
- [knocking]
- Sheldon Cooper: All my friends?
- Howard Wolowitz: I think it's like "Beetlejuice"; we said his name too many times.
- [Priya has made some homemade chili, albeit with beans, which is counter to the Texan definition of chili - Sheldon is Texan - and the fact is fodder for know-it-all Sheldon]
- Priya: Would you like some homemade chili?
- Sheldon Cooper: Are there beans in it?
- Priya: [guardedly] Yes?
- Sheldon Cooper: Then it's not chili. Real chili has no beans in it, but you're from a foreign land, so your ignorance is forgiven.
- Priya: [a bit exasperated] Sheldon, do you want some or not?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, please.
- [to Leonard, quietly]
- Sheldon Cooper: Your girlfriend's a little short-tempered.
- Penny: So, where do you guys want to go dancing?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: We were hoping you'd know a place.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly with young beautiful bodies, sweating and writhing against each other in a glorious orgy of the flesh.
- Penny: Oh yeah, I know that place.
- Penny: Let's go through this one more time. Just because Leonard has a new girlfriend does not mean I need to go out and hook up with some guy.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: But you could if you wanted to, right?
- Penny: Well yeah, I guess.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Pick out the hottest guy in the room, take him home, do unspeakable things to him, then kick him to the curb with a smile on his face and teeth marks on his heinie?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, if being on your own is new to you, I'd be happy to share some tension-relieving techniques for ladies that I've perfected over the years. For example, do you have an electric toothbrush?
- Penny: Uh, no.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You should get one.
- Penny: Let's go find me a heinie to bite.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Outstanding. And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush. I call mine Gerard.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, no, sir, and do you know why? In a word, tradition. Every Thursday night for the last eight years, you and I and our friends have gathered here in this very spot to break bread covered with cheese and sauce, discuss the issues of the day, and yes, share a laugh or two. But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you.
- [Amy and Bernadette want to take Penny out for a girl's night, but Penny doesn't want to]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You do understand that it will distract you from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving that your ex-boyfriend is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
- Priya: Sheldon's a bit quirky, isn't he?
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh please, that crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rearview mirror.
- [Sheldon is having a get-together with a new group of friends]
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're having people over?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes. Must be killing you wondering who. Fine, I'll tell you. Stuart from the comic book store, Barry Kripke from the university, Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack, and TV's Levar Burton.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Really? Levar Burton's coming over?
- Sheldon Cooper: Possible. I tweeted him.
- Sheldon Cooper: I just realized, we're about to spend an evening watching a plasma screen with a cluster of dead pixels in the upper left-hand corner.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So don't watch TV. Read a book.
- Sheldon Cooper: And be a social pariah? You know that's not my style.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey, you're just in time. We made Tex-Mex.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sounds great.
- Sheldon Cooper: Ooh, Indians making Tex-Mex. Might as well have had the Chinese pizza.
- Priya: There's no assigned seats, Sheldon. Just sit anywhere, make yourself comfortable.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, what fun. We're like hippies at a love-in.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Just sit here.
- Sheldon Cooper: Right on, man, right on.
- Kripke: I'm Barry Kwipke and I'm here because you told me there was gonna be a whaffle. When is the whaffle?
- Sheldon Cooper: Patience, patience, Barry. The whaffle... the raffle is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.