The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Benefactor Factor (2011)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Mrs. Latham : What happened to you, Wolowitz? Couldn't stick with it long enough to get your Ph.D.?
Howard Wolowitz : I'm an engineer. Most engineers don't bother with a Ph.D. But you may be interested to know I designed the zero-gravity waste disposal system for NASA.
Mrs. Latham : Got it. You're a space plumber.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Mrs. Latham said she was seriously considering donating money so we could get a cryogenic centrifugal pump...
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, wow!
Howard Wolowitz : Yess!
Leonard Hofstadter : Then she stuck her tongue down my throat.
Sheldon Cooper : Why?
Penny : Okay, we can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we got you.
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[first lines]
Raj Koothrappali : Here's what I wonder about zombies:
[the others groan]
Raj Koothrappali : What happens if they can't get any human flesh to eat? They can't starve to death, they're already dead.
Howard Wolowitz : You take this one. I spent an hour last night on "How do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?"
Sheldon Cooper : Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other. Case closed.
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, okay. So, zombies.
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, I guess it depends on the zombies, Raj. Are we talking slow zombies, fast zombies? Like in '28 Days', if those zombies didn't eat, they starved.
Howard Wolowitz : Yes, you're thinking of '28 Days Later'. '28 Days' is where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab and puts the audience into an undead state.
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Leonard Hofstadter : She hit on me.
Howard Wolowitz : Wait, wait, are you telling us that old lady wanted to have sex with you in exchange for giving your department millions of dollars?
Leonard Hofstadter : I think so.
Howard Wolowitz : You lucky duck.
Penny : You're really a broken toy, aren't you?
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[last lines]
President Siebert : Ah, there he is, the man of the hour! He took one for the team!
Leonard Hofstadter : I didn't do it for the money.
President Siebert : Keep telling yourself that; it makes it easier. Trust me, I know.
Raj Koothrappali : Cool, buddy. That's awesome.
Howard Wolowitz : How was she?
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Howard Wolowitz : Okay, let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled tochus.
Penny : Oh, Howard, I can't believe Bernadette let you go to a fancy party wearing a dicky.
Howard Wolowitz : Excuse me, my girl friend doesn't pick out my clothes. My mother does.