The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Bus Pants Utilization (2011)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [on cellphone]  Ma, ma, calm dow- listen to me! I know it says click with the mouse, but on a laptop the trackpad is the mouse. Now put your finger on it.

  Howard Wolowitz : Doesn't matter which finger.

  Howard Wolowitz : Good choice. Now move it down to your e-mail icon.

  Howard Wolowitz : The little envelope.

  Howard Wolowitz : What do you mean what does it look like? It looks like an envelope!

  Howard Wolowitz : Fine, you don't like the computer, don't use it!

  Howard Wolowitz : Sure. We can exchange it for a salad spinner. Good-bye.

  Raj Koothrappali : That's a Hanukkah present you're regretting, huh?

  Sheldon Cooper : I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged. But, if we made an example of one or two it might give the others incentive to try harder.

• Leonard Hofstadter : You know how we're always having to stop and solve differential equations, like when you're doing Fourier analysis or using the Schrödinger equation?

  Sheldon Cooper : Howard doesn't, he's only an engineer.

• Sheldon Cooper : You know, Leonard, that's actually a valid idea. Very good.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Can you say that and not make it sound like I'm a cat who learned how to use the toilet?

  Sheldon Cooper : No. The two achievements are equally surprising and equally admirable. Though if pressed, I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat.

• Sheldon Cooper : I suppose I'll go put on my bus pants.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What the hell are bus pants?

  Sheldon Cooper : They are pants one wears over one's regular pants when one sits on bus seats that other people have previously sat on.

• Raj Koothrappali : Hey, why am I in charge of phone support? Seems a bit racist.

  Sheldon Cooper : A customer service representative with an Indian accent will create the impression we're a vast enterprise that uses overseas call centers.

  Raj Koothrappali : Oh, very clever. But still racist.

  Sheldon Cooper : Duly noted, "Steve from Wichita".

• Sheldon Cooper : How about this for the name? The Surprising Helpful Equation Linked Deferential Optimized Numerator.

  Raj Koothrappali : So it spells "Sheldon"?

  Sheldon Cooper : Does it? A happy accident.

• Leonard Hofstadter : [fed up with Sheldon trying to take over the app project]  Okay, you're fired.

  Sheldon Cooper : Really? Why?

• Penny : Hey, you don't need Leonard and his app. You can make one with me.

  Sheldon Cooper : With you?

  Penny : Seriously, I have a great idea for one.

  Sheldon Cooper : Is it better than your idea to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actress?

• Sheldon Cooper : Consider this unlikely, but very plausible scenario: A young woman, alone in the big city. Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.

  Penny : Hey, wait a minute.

  Howard Wolowitz : Hang on. Let's see where he's going.

  Sheldon Cooper : Then it hits her. How is she going to survive? She has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend, Howard.

  Howard Wolowitz : Hey, I...

  Penny : Hang on, let's see where he's going.

  Sheldon Cooper : She befriends them and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea, which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That is ridiculous.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh is it? Let's see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.

  [everyone looks at Penny] 

  Penny : Oh great. You know what? I've already mooched dinner off you guys, I don't need to listen to this.

  Howard Wolowitz : There's your answer, free food.