The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Justice League Recombination (2010)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Zack : You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out that if you kill a starfish, it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon Cooper : Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
Zack : No, I'm almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel. It was a great show. They also said dolphins might be smarter than people.
Leonard Hofstadter : They might be smarter than some people.
Zack : Maybe we can do an experiment to find out.
Sheldon Cooper : That's easy enough. We need a large tank of water, a hoop to jump through, and a bucket of whatever bite-sized treats you find tasty.
[the guys laugh at him]
Zack : I don't get it.
Leonard Hofstadter : A dolphin might.
Zack : Oh, I see. You guys are inferring that I'm stupid.
Sheldon Cooper : That's not correct. We were implying it. You then inferred it.
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Leonard Hofstadter : If it makes you feel any better, when I was dating Penny, she used to flip out on me all the time.
Zack : Whoa! You dated Penny?
Leonard Hofstadter : She didn't tell you?
Zack : She told me she dated a guy named Leonard; who would have thought it was you?
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Howard Wolowitz : We can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard Hofstadter : What makes you think *I* can convince her.
Howard Wolowitz : You got her to have sex with you; obviously your super-power is brainwashing.
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[last lines]
Leonard Hofstadter : Look, I know our winter thermostat setting is seventy-two degrees, but I'm a little warm so I'm going to turn it down.
Sheldon Cooper : [runs to the Grand Canyon as The Flash] Good Lord, how you frustrate me, Leonard Hofstadter!
[runs back to the apartment and becomes himself]
Sheldon Cooper : Fine.
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[first lines]
Raj Koothrappali : [playing a card] Water Demon.
Howard Wolowitz : [playing a card] Ice Dragon.
Leonard Hofstadter : [playing a card] Lesser Warlord of Ka'a.
Sheldon Cooper : Not so fast.
[playing a card]
Sheldon Cooper : Infinite Sheldon.
Leonard Hofstadter : Infinite Sheldon?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes. Infinite Sheldon, it beats all other cards - and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.
Leonard Hofstadter : You understand why people don't want to play with you?
Sheldon Cooper : No. Although it's a question I've been pondering since preschool.
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Howard Wolowitz : Check it out; those guys are breaking into that car'
Leonard Hofstadter : What should we do?
Sheldon Cooper : We're the Justice League of America. There's only one thing we *can* do: turn around and slowly walk away.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [about apologizing to Zack] What would I even say?
Sheldon Cooper : "Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud."
Raj Koothrappali : A Milk Dud?
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah. Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
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Stuart : You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack; he's... a friend of ours. Zack, this is Stuart; he owns the store.
Zack : Wow! Lucky you.
Stuart : Yeah! I work seventy hours a week and average a dollar sixty-five an hour.
Zack : Sweet!
Stuart : Is that sarcasm?
Howard Wolowitz : Uh, no, it's an indictment of the American education system,
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Leonard Hofstadter : Were we bullying Zack?
Howard Wolowitz : No, I know bullying. He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.
Raj Koothrappali : And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.
Leonard Hofstadter : That happened to you?
Raj Koothrappali : First day of cricket camp. They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You can't replace me with Zack.
Sheldon Cooper : Why not? Penny did.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, she seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?
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Leonard Hofstadter : Listen, you don't have to wear the wig. At this party, we're gonna win first prize just by showing up with a girl.
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Sheldon Cooper : It occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, I got new boots this year, guaranteed to add 3 inches.
Sheldon Cooper : That's sad. Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart Bloom : Than Leonard in high-heel boots? Howard's mother in high-heel boots?
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Leonard Hofstadter : Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj Koothrappali : But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard Hofstadter : You can be Aquaman.
Raj Koothrappali : I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Leonard Hofstadter : Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.