The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Robotic Manipulation (2010)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Althea : What is this?

  Howard Wolowitz : It's a robot arm.

  Althea : Where's the rest of the robot?

  Howard Wolowitz : I just built the arm.

  Althea : Because that's all you needed, right?

• Raj Koothrappali : [skeptically]  You slipped and fell into a robot hand.

  Howard Wolowitz : [embarrassed about what he was really doing]  Yes.

  Raj Koothrappali : Penis first?

  Howard Wolowitz : Yes. Now, help me!

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that, as well.

• Althea : I need a orderly with a wheelchair. I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.

  Howard Wolowitz : You think you could you be a little more discreet?

  Althea : I'm sorry, we don't have a code for "robot hand grasping a man's penis".

• Sheldon Cooper : Amy pointed out that between the two of us, our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow.

  Howard Wolowitz : I'm guessing that future historians will comdemn us for not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon.

• Sheldon Cooper : [about Howard's robot arm]  Impressive, but we must be cautious.

  Howard Wolowitz : Why?

  Sheldon Cooper : Today, it's a Chinese food retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and tries to kill Sarah Connor.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't think that's gonna happen, Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : No one ever does. That's why it happens.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Excuse me, could you help us out?

  Althea : [seeing Howard with the robot arm on his junk]  My, my, my. What do we have here?

  Howard Wolowitz : I slipped and fell.

  Althea : Yeah, we get that a lot.

• Penny : Sheldon has a girlfriend?

  Sheldon Cooper : She's not my girlfriend.

  Penny : Ah... d-d-d-d... How did they meet?

  Howard Wolowitz : Raj and I entered Sheldon's information on a dating site, and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.

  Penny : Oh, my God! Sheldon and Amy.

  Howard Wolowitz : Or, as we call them, "Shamy".

  Penny : Shamy. I am so digging the Shamy!

  Sheldon Cooper : All right, everyone pay attention. Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler. Yes, she is female. Yes, we communicate on a daily basis, but no, she is not my girlfriend.

  Penny : Okay, well, what do you communicate about?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, my work in physics, her work in neurobiology, and most recently, the possibility of our having a child together.

  [taking a drink of water, Penny spits it out in surprise, and Howard uses his robot arm to pass her a napkin] 

  Penny : Thank you.

• Howard Wolowitz : [using his robot arm to give himself a massage]  Oh, yeah. Just like a real hand.

  [he perks up, then turns and glances at the hand] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [getting an idea]  Hmm...

• [to get the robot arm off of Howard's junk, Leonard and Raj lead him into the emergency room] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Don't tug! No tugging.

  Raj Koothrappali : Next time, take your own advice.

• Howard Wolowitz : I loaded the wrong program. The hand thinks it's holding a screwdriver in outer space. If you continue the program, it's going to start twisting.

• Penny : [Howard demonstrates his robotic arm]  That's amazing.

  Sheldon Cooper : I wouldn't say amazing. At best, it's a modest leap forward from the basic technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.

  Howard Wolowitz : Hey, Sheldon?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes?

  [Howard types on his laptop; his robot arm swings around and extends its first two fingers] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Peace?

  Howard Wolowitz : [intending something else]  No, not peace. Hang on.

• Penny : [about Howard's robot arm]  Does NASA know you're using that thing as a napkin holder?

  Howard Wolowitz : You kidding? They still think it's in a secure locker at JPL.

  Penny : You stole it?

  Howard Wolowitz : Borrowed. The trick is to carry it out to your car like you own it.

• Penny : Ooh, what's that?

  Howard Wolowitz : That, dear lady, is the Wolowitz Programmable Hand, designed for extravehicular repairs on the International Space Station.

  Penny : Oh, cool.

  Howard Wolowitz : Ask me to pass the soy sauce.

  Penny : Oh, does that come up much on the space station?

  Howard Wolowitz : Mostly with Asian and Jewish astronauts.

  Penny : All right. Pass the soy sauce.

  Howard Wolowitz : Coming up.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [breaking the awkward silence as Howard types on his laptop]  So, how's work?

  Penny : Oh, it's not bad. Kinda hungry.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, we all are.

• Howard Wolowitz : There you have it, gentlemen. Our entire dinner unpacked by robot.

  Raj Koothrappali : And it only took 28 minutes.