Glee (TV Series)

Blame It on the Alcohol (2011)

Lea Michele: Rachel Berry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rachel Berry : [to Blaine]  You're such a cutie pie with your blazer and your pants.

• Rachel Berry : Blaine Warbler, I'm gonna... Rock. Your. World.

• Rachel Berry : Mr. Schue? First of all that vest is very cute; you are all kinds of awesome.

• Rachel Berry : So you said he comes this way at 3:30?

  Kurt Hummel : Like clockwork for his post rehearsal medium drip.

  Rachel Berry : I just can't wait to lay one on him.

  Kurt Hummel : I've got a bad feeling about this Rachel. I mean, I don't mean to be so cold, but I don't want you to get hurt either. There's no victory in this for me either way.

  Rachel Berry : Who cares about you buddy, I may get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally and in the future give me vaguely Eurasian looking children.

  Kurt Hummel : There he is

  Blaine Anderson : [walks in to the coffee shop] 

  Kurt Hummel : dreamy as ever.

  Rachel Berry : Okay, wish me luck.

  Rachel Berry : [Gets up and walks over to Blaine] 

  Blaine Anderson : Hey Rachel, what's going on?

  [Rachel quickly kisses Blaine. He stares at Rachel blankly] 

  Blaine Anderson : Huh, yep, I'm gay. 100% gay. Thank you so much for clearing that up for me Rachel. Listen, save my space in line, will ya? I gotta go to the bathroom.

  Kurt Hummel : [Walks up to Rachel]  That was hard wasn't it?

  Rachel Berry : Are you kidding? That was amazing, I'm speechless. I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay. That is songwriting gold. Okay, I have to go compose, but thank you. Thank you!

  Kurt Hummel : [Stands there watching her leave in stunned silence] 

• Finn Hudson : [interrupts in the middle of Rachel's song]  Eh... Hold on! Hold on. Is this song about your headband?

  Rachel Berry : Yes. It's called "My Headband".

  Finn Hudson : Right.

  Rachel Berry : They say you should write about what you know.

  Finn Hudson : Well, it's really... interesting! But it's not... emotional. Or, like... good.

  Rachel Berry : It sucks.

  Finn Hudson : Yeah.

• Rachel Berry : Welcome! Kurt, Blaine... Wasn't expecting you guys.

  Finn Hudson : Kurt's been blackmailing me ever since he saw my browser history. Kind of insisted on coming.

• Rachel Berry : Your face tastes awesome.

• Rachel Berry : Thanks for helping with the party clean up, especially since you didn't even drink.

  Kurt Hummel : I was in the neighborhood.

  Rachel Berry : At 10 o'clock? Are you sure you're not here just to find out how my date with Blaine went?

  Kurt Hummel : Oh, that was tonight?

  Rachel Berry : Look, we're friends, so I'm gonna be honest with you... the date was lovely. We saw Love Story at the Revival Theater. We even dressed up as the characters.

  Kurt Hummel : [Sarcastically]  That's not gay at all. Did you kiss?

  Rachel Berry : No, or lips spent the evening mouthing Ali MacGraw's dialogue. Frankly, I did expect a little snog as the date drew to a close, but I guess the timing just wasn't right.

  Kurt Hummel : Or the blood alcohol level.

  Rachel Berry : Look, I know that you have feelings for him and I'm sure you think I'm crazy for asking him out, but Blaine is obviously conflicted and if he turns out not to be gay, well then, I guess I will have done you a favor.

  Kurt Hummel : And I'm doing you a favor by telling you that Blaine is the first in a long line of conflicted men that you will date that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals.

  Rachel Berry : Blaine and I have a lot in common.

  Kurt Hummel : A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay. Look, I don't doubt that you and Blaine would have a jolly good time shopping at Burberry and arguing who would make the better Rum Tum Tugger. I don't dispute that, but there's something that you and Blaine will never have and that's chemistry.

  Rachel Berry : Fine. Then I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm gonna take the beer goggles off and I'm gonna kiss him sober. And if the spark is still there, then I am taking you to your bakery of choice for a piping hot slice of humble pie.