- Haley Dunphy: Oh my God, please tell me this text is wrong! Did you really just go over to that kid's house and try and kiss him in front of a million people?
- Claire Dunphy: Alex, did you do that?
- Alex Dunphy: You got a text?
- Haley Dunphy: Oh yeah, everybody knows! Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?
- Alex Dunphy: This is all your fault! You're the one who said I had to kiss him or I was a lesbian!
- Claire Dunphy: Haley! Did you say that to her?
- Haley Dunphy: Don't turn this around on me, look at her shoes!
- Alex Dunphy: Ugh! I'm never going back to school now!
- Claire Dunphy: No sweetheart, yes you are. You are going back to school. But listen to me - just because a boy sends you flirty texts doesn't mean you...
- Alex Dunphy: What? You read my texts?
- Haley Dunphy: You read her texts? That's why you made me talk to her?
- Alex Dunphy: You made her talk to me?
- Claire Dunphy: I kinda feel like we're spinning out here a little bit! Look, Alex, the important thing here is that you have to be very careful how you behave around boys, because it is so easy to get a reputation.
- Alex Dunphy: Well I'm sorry I'm not a perfect little good girl like you were! Ugh!
- Haley Dunphy: Were you? Were you? I highly doubt it!
- Claire Dunphy: How come we don't have the same number of containers and lids? Why would they ever get separated?
- Phil Dunphy: Built up resentment? Money issues? Met a younger lid?