- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Do you know why your father tried to kill you?
- Armand Marku: It's a long story. You want the one that starts in the 14th century or today?
- Sharon Raydor: In the interest of time, just as far back as necessary.
- Fritz Howard: Is there anything special you want from Santa this year?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Maybe an Albanian translator.
- Fritz Howard: Oh, you are so hard to shop for.
- Julio Sanchez: I got ahold of the principal at Skander's school personally... And she just sent me the student roster. There's no Rudy, Rudolpho, Rudolph...
- Andy Flynn: No Donner, no Blitzen...
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Lieutenant...