Community (TV Series)
The Science of Illusion (2010)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Troy Barnes : We really appreciate you doing this.
Jeff Winger : Sure.
Abed Nadir : And three, two, one.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [singing] Troy and Abed in the morning!
[looking into camera]
Troy Barnes : And we're back. Look who's here, Jeff Winger.
Abed Nadir : Jeff, how do you stay so fit?
[cheesy smile and nods to camera]
Jeff Winger : Uh... Diet, exercise, genetics.
[Abed and Troy laugh patronizingly]
Abed Nadir : Sure, sure.
Troy Barnes : Okay. So it seems we have a clip. You wanna set up for us?
Jeff Winger : [confusion creases Jeff's brow as he glances around] Uh, I'd like to but I don't know what you're talking about.
Abed Nadir : Okay, we'll just roll it.
[pats Jeff on the knee, points to the camera, Abed and Troy look into the camera]
Troy Barnes : [high-pitched voice] Ooh. My name's Jeff Winger.
Abed Nadir : [deep voice] Hey. I'm Jeff Winger. I'm so tall.
Troy Barnes : Ah, this watch is expensive.
Abed Nadir : Muscles are everywhere.
Troy Barnes : [normal voice and patronizing smile] Oh, that was really funny.
Jeff Winger : [irritatedly] What's going on? Where are the cameras?
Troy Barnes : Oh, we're not filming this.
Abed Nadir : No. Who'd wanna watch this?
Jeff Winger : [scoffs exasperatedly] Guys, it's 6 a.m. Jeez!
[removes his microphone, drops it and storms off]
Abed Nadir : We're not gonna have him back.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [sings] Troy and Abed in the morn...
Jeff Winger : [shouts off camera] No!
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Jeff Winger : Hey, Pierce, I just remembered. Right before you got here, some guy was delivering level-six ceremonial robes?
Pierce Hawthorne : What? Why didn't you tell me?
Jeff Winger : Maybe if you run you can catch him.
Pierce Hawthorne : Way to use your brain, Winger.
[exits]
Jeff Winger : Abed, how fast can you run to the Theater Department?
Abed Nadir : Thirty-seven seconds.
Jeff Winger : Don't come back without something ridiculous. Go.
[Abed exits]
Britta Perry : Guys, you realize you're exploiting the naiveté of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult.
Shirley Bennett : Well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it.
Jeff Winger : Everything does. She's a buzz kill.
Britta Perry : I'm not a buzz kill.
Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison : Hmm.
Troy Barnes : Yeah, that doesn't really describe it. You're more of a fun-vampire, because you don't suck blood, you just suck.
Pierce Hawthorne : [enters dejected] He wasn't there.
Jeff Winger : [Abed enters carrying a box] Oh, I think Abed found him.
Pierce Hawthorne : Hey, give me.
[opens box and gasps]
Pierce Hawthorne : It's amazing.
[Jeff stifles a laugh behind his hand]
Pierce Hawthorne : Wow. It is absolutely gorgeous. How do I look?
Troy Barnes : May I?
Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah.
[Troy places a floppy wizards hat on Pierce's head]
Jeff Winger : Magical.
Annie Edison : Great.
[chuckles]
Shirley Bennett : Heh.
[chuckles]
Pierce Hawthorne : [laughs] Of course, the only one who doesn't like this is Britta. You ever get tired of being a buzz kill?