- [discussing scenarios where abortion is acceptable]
- Brian Griffin: What if it's rape?
- Peter Griffin: Well she shouldn't have asked me for directions.
- Brian Griffin: What?
- [Meg offers to host the baby]
- Meg Griffin: I can do it!
- Lois Griffin: Oh come on Meg, it was hard enough on your body when you gave birth to Stewie.
- Stewie Griffin: WHAT?
- Lois Griffin: I'm kidding.
- Stewie Griffin: Ohh, not cool!
- [upon seeing Meg topless]
- The Count: One, one nipple, hahah! Two, two nipples, hahahaha! Three, three nip - oh hell no, I'm out of here.
- Peter Griffin: I can't believe she went ahead and did it, after I specifically told her how I felt.
- Brian Griffin: Well clearly she believed it was within her right to...
- [begins sniffing the air]
- Brian Griffin: Lois just peed on something.
- [Quagmire pops through the window]
- Glen Quagmire: Hey Brian, you picking up on that?
- Brian Griffin: Yep.
- [last lines]
- Lois Griffin: Well, I think we made the right decision. I mean, sure, havin' a baby costs a fortune. There's cutbacks on things we love. There's diapers and cryin' and late nights with no sleep. Flu shots and mumps and driver's ed and college tuition. But you know what? It's one more person to share the world with. Another little voice in the back seat of the car. One more Griffin to love and to love us in return.
- [after a few seconds of silence, Peter turns to the camera]
- Peter Griffin: We had the abortion.
- Stewie Griffin: You know what's interesting about Lois's vagina Brian? Everyone in the room has been in there except for you. You're the only one who doesn't know what it looks like.