The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Pants Alternative (2010)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon : Problem.

  Leonard : What?

  Sheldon : They expect me to give a speech at the banquet. I can't give a speech.

  Howard Wolowitz : No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.

  Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, before the movie you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.

• [last lines] 

  Sheldon : [watching his speech on Youtube]  Oh, Lord! This couldn't be any more humiliating.

  Leonard : Aah, give it a minute.

  Sheldon : [on Youtube]  Now, for the astronomers in the audience, get ready to see the dark side of the moon. And here's Uranus.

• Leonard : Hey, Sheldon, I was up in the Administration Office, and I happened to overhear the name of the winner of this year's Chancellor's Award for Science.

  Sheldon : And you want to rub my nose in the fact that my contributions are being overlooked again. I'm the William Shatner of theoretical physics. All right, I'll play. What self-important, preening *fraud* are they honoring this year?

  Leonard : Well, I'm so glad you asked it like that: You.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, you're being ridiculous.

  Sheldon Cooper : Am I? Let me tell you a story.

  Howard Wolowitz : [to himself]  Where's 70 children when you need them?

  Sheldon Cooper : I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college. Summa cum laude is Latin for with highest honors.

  Penny : I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks.

• Leonard : So, Sheldon. How ya doing?

  Sheldon : That's how you start a psychotherapy session. How am I doing? I was promised a riverboat journey into the jungles of my subconscious. Instead I get the same question I hear from the lady who slices my baloney at Ralph's.

• Sheldon : Would it be helpful to you if I told you about my dreams?

  Leonard : Um; I don't know, maybe.

  Sheldon : I recently had a dream that I was a giant, but everything around me was to scale, so it all looked normal.

  Leonard : How did you know you were a giant, if everything was to scale?

  Sheldon : I was wearing size a million pants.

• Leonard : I thought I could try to analyze you and get to the root of your anxiety.

  Sheldon : What qualifies you to attempt to understand my mind?

  Leonard : My mother is a highly regarded psychiatrist, and I've been in therapy ever since she accused me of breast feeding co-dependently.