- Sterling Archer: How do you say The Hulk in Spanish?
- Ramon Limon: El Hulk.
- Sterling Archer: Gay.
- Ramon Limon: What? We don't have a word for hulk.
- Sterling Archer: Do you have a word for gay?
- Ramon Limon: Gay.
- Sterling Archer: Gayer. Jesus, Spanish, our jobs aren't enough you gotta take our words?
- Agent Lana Kane: Uhh... Kill... Kill... God, when do I get to the end so I can see what Cyril said?
- Cheryl: You seriously don't think that's hot?
- Pam Poovey: I seriously think you're scary!
- Cheryl: No, no no no... Like, a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk, and you think, "Yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth to mouth." But instead, he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation that you feel before you die is him squeezing your throat so hard that a big, wet, blob of drool drips off his teeth and just "flurr", falls right onto your popped out eyeball...
- Pam Poovey: Jesus Christ!
- Cheryl: I know, right?
- Agent Lana Kane: What the hell!
- Cheryl: I'm wet just thinking about it.
- Agent Lana Kane: Cyril! Cyril, you get your ass out here right now!
- Cheryl: Is she freaking 'cause Cyril said he wanted to bang Danny the Intern?
- Pam Poovey: No, I think it's 'cause he said he wanted to marry her.
- Cheryl: She's so weird... Hey, will you choke me a little bit?
- [last lines]
- Sterling Archer: Whoa, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with y -
- [starts laughing uncontrollably]
- Sterling Archer: .
- Ramon Limon: And what is so funny about that?
- Sterling Archer: [still cracking up] No, no, it's Woodhouse! He's all tied up somewhere, sc - scared and alone!
- [laughs]
- Sterling Archer: And possibly dehydrated!
- Malory Archer: Dr. Krieger's covert team installed these surveillance cameras while Limón was out shopping yesterday.
- Doctor Krieger: Yep, we've got video and audio with a satellite feed back to these hard drives. Same set-up I've got in my van.
- Sterling Archer: Jesus, Krieger. You're still taping bum fights?
- Doctor Krieger: No, now I'm into something... darker.
- [first lines]
- Malory Archer: Oh! Oh! I cannot believe you! Are you out of your big, fat Russian skull? Of all the dumb stunts you - Nikolai, how could you do this?
- Woodhouse: Well, I was very fond of a boy at school once. Reggie Thistleton, but he died in the war at Flanders.
- Rudy: Flanders?
- Charles: What war was that?
- Woodhouse: Oh, the Great War.
- Rudy: They're all great.
- Charles: Oh my God, yes! Those Nazi uniforms?
- Rudy: Hugo Boss.
- Charles: Shut up!
- Rudy: Swear to God.
- Sterling Archer: Well, then, it sucks to be you!
- Malory Archer: You'll be who it will suck to be if I have to call my bridge partner!
- Sterling Archer: Oooh! Who's your bridge partner?
- Malory Archer: The district attorney.
- Sterling Archer: So?
- Woodhouse: Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face. And she says she can't go to a hospital because she's, I quote, "tripping balls".
- Sterling Archer: [Awkward pause] You know when I was little, I used to pretend you weren't my mother.
- Malory Archer: Me too.