Here for Blood (2022) Poster

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7/10
Fun Blend of Comedy, Home Invasion and Cosmic Horror
Reviews_of_the_Dead18 March 2024
This was a movie that I saw streaming on Screambox. I added it to a list of 2024 films that I would check out when there wasn't a new release at the theater. Something that helped here was that I heard Duncan from The Podcast Under the Stairs say he liked this as he got to see it at a film festival for 2023. This is getting its wide release in the United States for this year so I made it a featured review on Journey with a Cinephile.

Synopsis: a peaceful evening becomes bloody violent chaos. Masked intruders descend on Tom (Shawn Roberts) and Grace (Maya Misaljevic). This duo fights for their lives.

We start this off with a cold open of a young woman running. She lets herself into a house that she shares with a roommate. The runner calls out to her friend but doesn't get an answer. She hears the shower running. She goes inside to see that her roommate has been murdered. The attacker goes after her next.

This then shifts over to a group of college students. Phoebe (Joelle Farrow) is working multiple jobs to make ends meet while trying to figure out time to study. She is with Mike (Kelly Penner) and his girlfriend, Christine (Samantha Helt). They're shocked she took a babysitting job that night when there's a big exam the next day. Together, they come up with an idea to have Phoebe's boyfriend, Tom O'Bannon, to replace her with watching the kid.

What is funny here is that he's a professional wrestler. He works the independent circuit where he isn't paid much. He comes home to Phoebe and she pitches the idea. He is concerned, for good reason, that it might look weird. She convinces him it is fine and he reluctantly agrees to help.

He then goes to the house. There's a funny interaction with the child's stepfather, Gill (Michael Terriault), that is in line with Tom's thoughts. He then meets the mother. Her name is Barb (Tara Spencer-Nairn). Together they give him the lay of the land of what he needs to know to take care of Grace. She is playing video games when he gets there and we see that she is calm. It should be an easy job until Phoebe shows up. Tom is even given the money upfront, which includes enough to get pizza with the tip.

It starts as an easy night like they think. That is until Tom hears a noise upstairs. He checks on Grace, but it wasn't her and she didn't hear anything, having headphones on. Tom soon meets a couple of guys. One is named Bernie (Jesse Buck) and Tom disarms him with a stove burner. The other is Spinhead (Marqus Bobesich). These two aren't alone there. There is a much bigger plot and it seems to involve the two from the start who were attacked. We also learn there are other missing girls. Tom thinks they're sex perverts, but they have a much larger plan than that.

That is where I'll leave my recap and introduction to the story. Where I want to start is that this is a fun movie. One thing that made me leery was seeing that this was a comedy/horror film according to the Internet Movie Database. If you know my tastes, then you know that I'm not always the biggest fan as they normally use too much of the former without enough of latter. I think that this one gets it right. Comedy mostly comes from things that characters say or do, but it isn't over the top. It is there to alleviate tension or to point out the absurdity of things which tends to work better for me.

Now that I've set that up, let me delve a bit more into what we're getting here. I love that we have this large guy who is a wrestler in Tom. It is interesting because coming in, I recognized the name of our lead. I just didn't know where. I'll be honest, I did look it up ahead of watching this and realized that he was in the X-Men film from the 2000s and was in the Resident Evil movies as Albert Wesker. He has bulked up and was perfect for this role. What is interesting is that he has a good look for the character and brings the physicality that is needed.

I'm going to shift to filmmaking here, because I need to stick with what I've already laid out. This movie plays with the fact that Tom is a wrestler. He is dropping elbows on villains and using other moves like the clothesline. That adds to the comedy. I also think that it makes sense when he's fighting that he's strong so he isn't easily overpowered. It isn't until supernatural things start to happen that he gets overmatched. There are also other villains like Loverboy (Channing Decker) and Meat (Marc-André Boulanger) who are his size. That makes things more difficult for him. The action scenes are shot well. This movie flirts with being over the top with violence and I loved that. This went practical with the effects where they could. Another plus in its favor. There is blood spray that goes on a beat too long for comedy, but I didn't mind that. There is CGI, but that is there to enhance things. I could tell it was done with computers. It doesn't ruin anything though. I was positive about all of this.

Then going back to the story, I'm not going to spoil things. What I will say is that we have a cult who is after babysitters. They're needed for a ritual. I'm there for that as I'm a fan. We also see that this ritual can enhance the strength of those that believe. This also could be considered cosmic as the cult is worshipping elder gods. They don't necessarily explain who they are by name, but I don't need that. This works in its favor.

I don't think there is anything else that I need to go into for the story so I'll finish with acting. I've already said that Roberts was great in this lead role. I love that he points out that him being a babysitting could look weird. This is poking fun at society and how things look. Even Gill asks if he's a weirdo. How Roberts manages the comedy worked well in my opinion as well. Misaljevic was solid as Grace. I like that she's not annoying and things that get revealed make her question things. She managed it well. Farrow is attractive and good as the one that gets Tom into the mess. It is good she did though as I don't know if things play out without him. Spencer-Nairn and Therriault are good parents. Penner and Helt are good as Phoebe's friends. They also help add to the body count for people here. Bobesich, Buck and the others who are in the cult were good there. They all have a different look and mask which I'm a fan of. We even got a cameo by Dee Snider voicing a character. What I'll say to end this section is that the acting here was good across the board.

In conclusion, I had a blast with this movie. This is a good combination of horror and comedy in my opinion. There are good elements here of combing home invasion with slasher and even a cult doing rituals to Lovecraftian style gods. The acting is good here across the board. Roberts leads the way there with Misaljevic helping him as being in the house from the start. I thought this was well-made. The practical effects are great along with the cinematography to showcase them. They framed this well to hide the seams as needed. It was a fun movie. This is a shut off your brain and just go with it, especially for gore fans.

My Rating: 7 out of 10.
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5/10
Where was the comedy?...
paul_haakonsen13 February 2024
Sitting down to watch the 2022 comedy horror movie "Here for Blood" here in 2024 without ever having heard about it, I have to admit that I wasn't sure what I was in for. But with it being a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen, and my love of the horror genre, of course I had to give the movie a fair chance.

The storyline, written by James Roberts, is a pretty straightforward one. However, I have to say that it wasn't a particularly impressive storyline, and it was rather devoid of comedy, making it a weak horror comedy. I am sure that newcomers to the horror genre might enjoy "Here for Blood", but as a life-long horror fan, I have to say that writer James Roberts just didn't dazzle me with this script.

The movie starts out as a rather generic home-invasion movie, but takes a rather unexpected turn about halfway through, for better or worse.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, which was good, as I do like watching unfamiliar faces and talents on the screen. And the acting performances in "Here for Blood" were adequate. Nothing outstanding or overly memorable, mind you, but definitely adequate for a movie of this caliber.

The effects in the movie were good, and I did like the gore effects and the glowing eyes, those looked really great. And there was actually enough gore and visceral mayhem to keep an old gorehound like myself content, and that was definitely something that spoke well in favor of the movie and helped keeping it afloat.

While "Here for Blood" was watchable, it wasn't exactly a movie that tickled me the right places.

My rating of "Here for Blood" lands on a five out of ten stars.
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5/10
Here for Excessive Gore
cahidi15 February 2024
I think that this movie is supposed to be the kinda movie that's so bad that it's good. But I guess they failed to make it so, cause it's not that funny. I only chuckled a few times. But I didn't laugh at all. Also the blood and gore was really testing my stomach. A fair warning for those who don't have the stomach for excessive gore and blood : don't watch this movie. It's like Quentin Tarantino times 3! Blood spraying in all direction for a minute or two. I think that the title describes the main plot for this movie. Blood, just blood. Maybe vampires can love this movie. But for the rest of us, mortals, we can't. Buh bye!
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6/10
Wrestler vs Cult
stevendbeard11 February 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I saw Here For Blood, starring Shawn Roberts-XXX: Return of Xander Cage, the Resident Evil movies; Joelle Farrow-Skymed_tv, Under the Banner of Heaven_tv; Maya Misaljevic-Seven Veils, The Boys_tv and the voice of Dee Snider-lead singer of Twisted Sister.

This is a Canadian horror movie with some interesting twists to the genre. Shawn plays a wrestler that is asked by his girlfriend, Joelle, to cover a babysitting job she has so that she can study for her college finals. Maya is the 10 year old that needs sitting on. The horror part comes when a cult of masked intruders invade the house. For some reason-it is explained why later-the cult wants Maya for their nefarious purposes. So basically, you have a B slasher film with a wrestler fighting a cult. It does get pretty bloody at times but there is also lots of humor. A dead, disgusting, reanimated talking head-yep, just the head-is voiced by Dee and he has one line that he repeats a lot; Feed Me!

It doesn't have a rating but it does contain violence, bloody images and language and has a running time of 2 hours.

I'm not sure if I would buy it on DVD but it would be a good one to stream, if you like these types of movies.
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1/10
Not Funny + Not Scary = Fail
HTopHer17 March 2024
I see a lot of glowing reviews for this movie and either we saw a different movie, or I'm on drugs, or all of them are, but I do not agree at all. I think maybe they are all involved in making this movie themselves, or loving family and friends. How else can you justify giving this turkey anything near a 10/10. Seriously these people think this movie is perfect?

I feel like the director must have made this right after watching Dead Alive and walked away from that movie thinking that all you have to do is make a lot of fake blood and spill it everywhere and it automatically makes a movie funny, scary and interesting.

The problem is, Dead Alive was actually a funny script and well shot. It gave us stuff to keep us interested. Here for Blood is a poor excuse for a movie that has no laughs at all in it. We did not even smile once. All we did was keep checking the "time remaining" to see how much longer it would go on. It also was not scary, and the large amounts of obviously fake blood don't add any kind of enjoyment at all, it's just there because they thought it would be automatically interesting somehow.

If anyone told me that someone could somehow make a movie about a home invasion with a wrestler vs. A cult and have it not be one bit funny or good on any level, I would have thought they were crazy. How could this be possible? Yet here it is, a total dud of a movie that practically bored us to sleep.

Some of the actors were decent. But that's about the only good thing I can say about this one. We even hated the music, which I'm sure they either made themselves or got for free.

Horror and/or comedy fans trust me when I say do not waste your time on this one!
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2/10
Don't trust the reviews
cabcab-726116 April 2024
What a shame that we can no longer trust the ratings system for smaller independent films. Clearly a lot of the reviews here are people involved in the production.

This is an objectively bad film. The acting - oh my goodness - some of the very worst I've seen outside of film projects. The main actor appears to have wandered in from another film set and is blissfully unaware of the tone of the film he is starring in.

There is a lot of comedy within this film and I really was laughing out loud- but very much at the film and not with it.

Please everyone - can we stop the using the reviews process to market films.
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9/10
If you want blood, you got it!
MisssB12317 February 2024
This movie is called 'Here For Blood' for a reason! If you aren't here for blood, then don't go see this movie because there is plenty of it! If you love blood, gore, makeup effects and a campy 80s horror feel, you will enjoy it. I was pleasantly surprised with the great acting and cinematography for such a low budget movie filmed in little London. It has nods to a lot of great horror classics and some laugh out loud moments. I recommend this movie to any true horror fan...Those who don't like it probably aren't actual horror fans and just don't get it. Grab some popcorn and a few friends and just enjoy!
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9/10
A perfectly enjoyable over-the-top genre effort
kannibalcorpsegrinder27 August 2023
In need of some extra money, a down-on-his-luck wrestler agrees to babysit his girlfriends' younger sister for the night while she studies for an upcoming exam, but when a deadly cult descends upon the house looking for blood he must put his fighting skills to the test to save everyone he cares for.

There's quite a lot to like with this feature. Among the brighter spots here is the film's wildly imaginative setup that provides this with a great opportunity for fun throughout. The main concept of him getting dragged into the babysitting gig is quite fun, making quite heavy use of the concept of him being a male trying to go through the act of babysitting a young girl. This gets brought up throughout the course of the film as his muscle-headed style and good-natured sense of duty conflicts with their more natural sense that try to explain what's going on as the situation spirals out of control involving the purpose behind the cult's appearance at the house and what they're actually doing there. It's all given a great comedic bent with the reactions, one-liners, and over-the-top nature of everything which all sets the film in motion rather well. This setup provides the kind of baseline starting point where the fun of the home invasion produces no shortage of high-energy confrontations. With that comedic bent still in full effect, the confrontations here with the initial members of the cult trying to sneak inside and take her without conflict but get interrupted by the wrestler putting his moves to the test in defending her. This continues with the added bodies being added to the fray as his friends arrive looking to end the night there and get drawn into the mix and then the parents that bring about all kinds of fun here with the series of twists they bring about which not only generates a slew of highly effective gore scenes for the numerous kills but also keeps the film going along as such a frenetic clip that it comes together incredibly well for a lot to like. There isn't much to dislike here but it does have some minor drawbacks. The main factor against the film is that it tends to introduce a few too many elements than it needs to for the type of story this is trying to be. The whole idea of the cult trying to gain immortality through the sacrifice is fine enough, but to constantly try to bring about the importance of the situation with a wise-cracking hero featuring supernatural healing powers just as much as the supernatural regeneration powers of the cult that tends to feel somewhat unnecessary. As well, with the film's heavy focus on the comedic touches not just in the reactions and quips being offered, some of them come off as being scripted rather than being genuine in-the-moment comments so the lessened tension isn't there at the wrong moments. These slight issues are all that keep it down.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, and children-in-jeopardy.
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10/10
Everything you want in a horror-comedy
heathrob-0003424 October 2022
If you are a fan of Evil Dead, The Lost Boys, Fright Night, Scream, or even Clerks... this movie will have something for you. It's fun(ny), bloody, & campy sexy, and effortless dialogue propels a storyline that is both totally original and nostalgic. Giggle, squirm, and rock out during this artist-lead indie production that just wants to give you a hell of a show - and delivers. Avoiding spoilers: amateur wrestler Tom O'Bannon accepts a babysitting gig to relieve his beloved, Phoebe, of the pressure of work + study during her college exams. A motley crew of cultists descends upon the rural home and Tom must become protector for his innocent ward (Grace), haphazardly punching, elbowing, and chopping their way through a maelstrom of masked marauders - not to understate Phoebe & Grace's crucial contributions. Everything in this movie invites nerddom and deep-dives. Backed by major Canadian talent (writing, acting, tunage) and a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek mischief, Here for Blood revives a much-beloved genre without relying on what's been done before.
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9/10
Heavy on the action, light on the horror, with lots of blood on the side!
edgordie8 December 2022
Here for Blood has a great mix of action, awesome banter between characters and a nice light take on horror. The plot follows the predictable path of a slasher type horror film, but makes its' unique mark using a mix of wrestling based action and lots and lots of blood. I really enjoyed the interaction between the characters and some of the one liners were delivered with perfection. This is a great film to see with friends or in a large theatre. There will be something for everyone to connect with. If you are looking for a movie to help you temporarily suspend the craziness of today's world, this is the movie for you. Sit back and enjoy!
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8/10
Jam Packed
nathanksimpson20 August 2023
Here For Blood accomplishes a lot during its moderately long run time. This is definitely a horror comedy, but has so many stunts I want to call it a horror-action comedy. Performances by the leads were pitch perfect in almost all the critical moments (more on that later), at certain points achieving Bruce Campbell levels of meme-ability.

Maybe exaggerated blood effects are not everyone's cup of tea, but the eerie art direction and some great editing and cinematography for particular scenes made parts this film's atmosphere a nod to more thriller-horror classics. For performance and appearance my favorite and most unsettling villain was the upside-down mask man.

At times the over-the-top nature of the violence takes away from the horror aspects of the film but this seems to be an intentional tone choice by the director and doesn't spoil the overall feel. One can't fault a film for achieving what it set out to do.

VFX is used quite sparingly in this film. Pretty much all the blood looks practical and VFX were mainly used to remove things from a shot that needed to be hidden or to replicate things that would be unsafe to do practically. A bit looked to be used for supernatural elements.

As for my major criticism of the film, the lead villain just didn't seem to have the intimidating gravitas that he might need to instill terror from his henchmen or others. It weakens the character elements towards the end. The final battles are sadly the weakened by this fact, and feels a bit underwhelming in performance, despite being rather grand in effects and action.

The writing in overall structure had many moving parts with essentially two ensemble casts: heroes and villains. This allowed for some twists and surprises that kept the pacing interesting although at times a bit overwhelming. However this is more noticeable in retrospect. I do wonder if there could have been a bit faster paced edit but to do so would mean sacrificing some plot points.

Here for Blood attempts to accomplish so much and pulls of 85% of it. I think if the vision were a little more focused this could be a more refined action horror. Regardless, considering the budget, and likely a compressed shooting schedule what this film does accomplish is impressive. The film is best ridden like a rollercoaster not read like a book and when enjoyed that way it is a great ride. If you are looking for a horror movie that will make you laugh, root for the good guys, all while keeping you wondering what's next you can't go wrong with Here for Blood.
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