Gossip Girl (TV Series)

The Sixteen Year Old Virgin (2010)

Kristen Bell: Gossip Girl

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Gossip Girl : [voice-over]  From the day he brings his newborn girl home, a father lives in fear... that someday she'll get hurt.

  Rufus Humphrey : How about some breakfast?

  Jenny Humphrey : [petulant]  Waffles. Shocker. No, I'm good, thanks, I'll eat at school.

  Rufus Humphrey : I'll see you at 4:15. On the dot.

  Jenny Humphrey : School, home, school, home. I get it. Thanks.

  [walks away in a huff] 

  Gossip Girl : That someday she'll hate him.

  Jenny Humphrey : [alone, while song plays about being devil-may-care rockstar, on phone:]  Hi. I need a car. Yes, from DUMBO to the Smyth hotel. Okay, thanks, bye.

  [rearranges hair in slightly dishevelled style while song goes "All I need is a black guitar"] 

  Gossip Girl : And worst of all, someday she'll grow up.

• Jenny Humphrey : [things are getting a bit heavy]  Oh, uhm... it's 9:30. I have Latin.

  Damian Daalgard : [impatiently]  It's a dead language. It's not going anywhere.

  [hand in his hair] 

  Damian Daalgard : Why don't you just ditch it and stay here with me?

  Jenny Humphrey : I can't. I have a quiz.

  Damian Daalgard : [scoffs]  Come on, Jenny. Don't you think it's a little coincidental, the last time we got to this spot... in the place right underneath your kilt... that you had to go dissect a fetal pig?

  Jenny Humphrey : I did.

  [chuckles] 

  Jenny Humphrey : Come on, Damian, you know I wanna be here.

  Damian Daalgard : Jenny.

  [sighs] 

  Damian Daalgard : Why don't we just talk about it?

  Jenny Humphrey : What's there to talk about?

  Damian Daalgard : I think you're an amazing girl. I love spending time with you, but... when I date someone, sex is usually part of the equation. And if you're not cool with that, it's fine. But say something. You can't just shut me down every time we're alone together.

  Jenny Humphrey : I'm not. I... It's just not a good day. I mean, I have a quiz, and then I have that other class.

  Damian Daalgard : You're younger than me. I get it. Could it be that you've never...?

  Jenny Humphrey : [with nervous laughter in her voice]  No, Damian. It's not like that.

  [sits down next to him on the bed] 

  Jenny Humphrey : Look, I just don't like the first time with someone to be rushed.

  [shakes her head] 

  Jenny Humphrey : And I have school.

  Damian Daalgard : Okay. Well, how about tonight? After your father goes to sleep, you can sneak out. No rush. Okay?

  [his hand caresses her cheek] 

  Damian Daalgard : Nice and slow.

  [brushes hair away from her eyes] 

  Jenny Humphrey : Yeah, perfect. Um... it's on, Dalgaard. I will see you tonight.

  [he kisses her] 

  Gossip Girl : [voice-over]  There's always a moment a father can't let himself fear: the day his little J decides to lose her big V.