The Penguins of Madagascar (TV Series)
An Elephant Never Forgets/Otter Things Have Happened (2009)
Jeff Bennett: Kowalski, Computer
Photos
Quotes
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Skipper : So, what's the trouble, Long Trunks?
Burt : You guys gotta help me. I need to get out of the zoo and across town, today!
Private : Ooh, a breakout.
Kowalski : Complicated by crosstown transport of the world's largest land mammal.
Skipper : That's a pretty tall order, my ginormous friend. May I ask why?
Burt : Let's just say an elephant never forgets.
Rico : Uhh...
Skipper : Ooh, dark and sinister sounding with the classic pachyderm cliché. Big man, you play me like a fiddle.
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Skipper : Now, if anyone asks, you're name is Frosty Fun Times truck number 26.
Kowalski : You were raised a laundry delivery truck, but on your eighteenth birthday, you decided to follow your dream and never looked back.
Private : Why would anyone ask a truck about...
Skipper : Don't confuse the man with questions, Private. It's a very complicated alias.
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Private : I wonder how the rest of Marlene's date went?
Skipper : I'm sure it was a many splendored thing.
Kowalski : Of course. It was scientifically approved.
Marlene : Hi, guys. So, me and Fred? Not happening.
Kowalski : What?
Marlene : Turns out what I thought was him being funny was actually just him being...
Skipper : Dumb as a sack of hammers?
Marlene : Let's just say I did not hear Spanish guitar when we were together.
Kowalski : But, but science let us to him. Science said he was perfect. SCIENCE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
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Skipper : Our first obstacle is Alice. We need something to keep her occupied during Burt's exodus.
Kowalski : Perhaps a large mess to clean up. But what would be the ideal spot for maximum filthyosity? The public restrooms, of course!
Skipper : Now we need some sort of stink bomb.
Kowalski : Chemical or organic?
Skipper : Let's go green on this one. Big Gray, what did you have for breakfast this morning?
Burt : Bean, broccoli and cabbage burrito. Why?
Skipper : Perfecto!
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Skipper : [the penguins discover some photos pinned on Burt's habitat] Well, this is, uh, disturbing, to me. Anyone else?
Private : I'm disturbed as well, Skipper.
Kowalski : [Focusing on a photo of a kid] Look at that kid with the kazoo. Could it be? The legendary Kid Kazoo?
Rico : Kid Kazoo?
Kowalski : You know, Kid Kazoo? The scourge of the Central Park Zoo? Surely you've heard the tales. He was a Sunday regular, a real piece of work, with a smile like a bear trap, and a laugh like a deranged birthday clown. But the sickest thing was that kazoo, screeching incessantly like a kindergarten orchestra.
Private : That sounds horrible, Kowalski.
Kowalski : Kazoos always do, Private. But no one had it worse than poor Burt. With those jumbo-sized ears, that constant buzzing was unbearable. He hated that kazoo! I wonder what ever happened to the little maniac?
Skipper : [Looks at a picture of an adult man] Wait a minute. Look at those shifty eyes. That devious half-smile. Those kazoo-kissed lips.
Kowalski : By Newton's apple, you're right! It's Kid Kazoo all grown up!
Rico : Wow!
Private : Burt really knows how to hold a grudge. For years, apparently.
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Computerized Voice : You have reached the Animal Control Help Line. If you know the name of the animal trying to eat you, say it now.
Kid Kazoo : Elephant. El-e-phant. Elephant!
Computerized Voice : You said... Everglades pygmy sunfish. First, step out of the bayou and onto dry land.
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Kid Kazoo : Now it's penguins?
Computerized Voice : You said... Peruvian milk snake.
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Private : We just thought an otter alone in the big city might be...
Marlene : What?
Skipper : Lonely! The soul-crushing solitude must be eating you alive!
Marlene : Right. But why the sudden interest in my love life?
Kowalski : All right, we needed a guinea pig, and you were the closest species. Genetically speaking.
