Jersey Shore

Even better than "Shark Attack" and "Lamas In Trouble".

When Snooki complains to her father about her boyfriend, he shouts: "Remember, it's all his fault!". Snooki's parents need to win some kind of Parent-of-the-Year award, because the way they reared their little duckling should make any other parent red with envy. So all you people out there, bring up your child so that it knows that it is ALWAYS right, no matter what it says/does/breaks. Never punish, admonish or correct; just let the little chipmunk run amok, and you can't go wrong. Total freedom as the wrong way to push your child in the proper direction? Wrong. Who wouldn't want to have a daughter with as little inhibition as a wild animal, while taking such pride in dressing up like a wasted middle-aged hooker? Rear your child as Snooki's parents have done, and it need not ever use a public toilet again: we underestimate the uses of street pavement.

To be fair, there is the issue of genetics, too; Snooki was adopted. And yet this should by no means serve as a deterrent to future adopters. Traveling to a remote mountain-region in Chile where someone you'd never even met before hands you the child of an unknown set of parents - now that's true idealism for you. They didn't even care when told that she is the offspring of a pair of exiled village idiots. They took the tiny Indian girl with open arms and treated her like an exotic souvenir monkey for the next 25 years, indulging her every whim.

JS consists of 4 guys who want to be black, and 4 women who want to be prostitutes. I don't mean "black" just because they are so obsessed with tanning, I'm referring also to the incessant YOs and BROs and "da hood" arm-flapping. JS is a unique sort of televised zoo in which all eight animals are (more-or-less) free to roam around the park. But, as all critters, their interests are essentially limited to sex and food. Tanning also, and laundry: our eight chimps need to smell nice just hours before they sweat it out on the dance-floor, fist-pumping ("air-hitting") to the rhythm of "music" which only lower species of primates can find inoffensive/enjoyable. The fact that LMFAO, the worst corporate product on the planet, was asked to "write" for the opening credits says it all. JS is much better than any "Real World" season because MTV found an even more primitive and decadent bunch of attention-seeking, fame-hungry exhibitionists than ever before. Guidos are ideal for this format because (like all animals) they ignore the cameras and aren't too self-conscious. In fact, they aren't conscious at all.

As with the show's predecessor, Animal Planet's "Monkey World", the apes all look alike but have these wonderfully different personalities. A unique characteristic of the young females is that they - instead of emulating older females – impersonate the young males: they're violent, aggressive, go to the gym, burp/fart, and then drown in alcohol at night. Ironically, they never try to imitate the young males in their neatness or willingness to prepare food: the females party like animals and they live that way too. Stumbling over broken glass or an old pizza-slice on the floor is a way of life for the chimpus guidoae female.

Unlike other mammals, the young Guidette is actually even more aggressive than its steroid-pumped male counterpart. The Guidette proudly displays her "femininity" (hence willingness to mate) by cursing, yelling, sticking out her "kuka" in public, getting into cat-fights, and "smooshing" with other females. However, the Guido is usually unimpressed with any of that and mates with the Guidette only when he can't capture a blond non-Guidette female. The snatching of the non-Guidette, a prized possession for the horny non-picky gorilla-juice-head, usually takes place in the primate's natural habitat: the nightclub. It's there that all the most ridiculous elements of guidotic existence unite: the crowded, smoky, smelly, noisy disco is what Guidos call "home". In this pointless jungle they are free to engage in their ritual mating dance without having to worry about looking utterly foolish.

But the male impersonates the female, also; the Guido gets manicures, pedicures, plucks his eye-brows, utilizes an array of perfumes, visits hair-salons very often, and even roasts himself willingly in tanning rooms on an almost daily basis. In that sense he reveals his latent homosexuality. Perhaps this is why the guidus baboonus has a need to over-compensate i.e. prove his machismo - both to himself and others; this can best be observed, in its most extreme form, in the case of a sociopathic chimp called "The Situation". Mike's inferiority complex and continual failure to become the alpha male of the group leads him to a series of near-fights - when he provokes another male(s), but does so very carefully so as to avoid getting involved in an actual scuffle (which would end poorly for him).

Sending these 8 entertaining mammals to Italy was right on the money. Merely to watch these "patriotic" Italo-Americans stumble around cluelessly in their "mamma-mia-land" – worth the price of admission alone. No tattooed apes with steroid muscles and very few girls spreading their legs for the first guy why winks at them; what a disappointment this must have been for them. Even more telling was that none of these "Italia!"-shirt-wearing clowns speak the language (apart from Vinnie, who is slightly smarter – or shall we say "less stupid" than the rest). Nevermind that their parents are mostly fluent Italian-speakers or that it's one of the most popular/easiest languages. On the other hand, Mike & co can barely speak English, so a "second" language would be simply asking too much.

One complaint: when Angelina became unhappy with the quality of bananas, she left – to be replaced by Snooki's pal Deena, an orangutan juice-head disguised in a Robert Loggia costume. Why couldn't they have cast the beautiful Ryder instead?

I checked this show out because I heard it was about a group of young New York/ New Jersey Italian Americans living together. Being one myself, I am ashamed of these people and how badly they treat one another. I checked in about half way into season 2. One of the roommates, who was not well liked by everyone, decided to leave after being tormented throughout the entire season. I'd say that was about the smartest move any one of them made.

I don't think I've seen so much outright abuse and calculated disparagement amongst any group of people, ever.

Nice going MTV - go ahead and encourage bad behavior and verbal abuse amongst young adults. Show fighting, swearing, drunkenness, lies and manipulation as being cool and in amongst young adults in their 20s over and over again so other young people can act just like that thinking its something to capitalize on.

Reality TV is trash. I get that sentiment exactly, but after watching a few episodes of Jersey Shore, I started to see beyond the fake tans, the fights and the horrible language (and bad grammar). What did I see? I saw myself and my friends at age 21. These people aren't stereotypes, they are TRULY how immature people act. I say let them enjoy being young. They are proud of being themselves and having fun. Is this quality TV programming? No, but you know what, sometimes quality programming can be boring. This JS cast is anything but boring and I found myself actually liking them. They ARE characters and they know how to put on a show. I don't know how long this show will go on, and I really do hope they keep the cast intact (at least for season 2) because I will be watching. B-

... Another bad reality show. Stereotypes of Italians or not, this was awful. First off, It reminded me of one of those Animal Planet Shows where they take animals and put them in special environment, to strive in awesome conditions for the particular species of animal. Also, It reminded me of some of those Twilight Zone Eps where humans are lured to certain situations supposedly conducive to human behaviour and than like that .. end of the world type scenario. In other words, This show was degrading. The whole guido and guidette theme was ridiculous. NJ is just like any other state with a multitude of different ethnicities , religions and races. These early 20 something folks had to be the dumbest of the dumb to not realize how they were being used. Paycheck or not, dignity is most important. At least in my opinion. I must be honest , I watched just the first half of the first episode. I got bored quickly. It was basically one f bomb after another...bleeped out of course. I am far from a prude. I just felt the language got old quickly. I truly felt I was watching 'Animal Planet' with animals being substituted by people.The kicker is , the animals are smarter than this gang of assorted nuts. None of these people were even likable. I wonder if these folks realize that most viewers are laughing AT them.They were a caricature and a bad one at that. Very depressing. This was just a bad show , with lousy stereotypes and skimpy clothing.Contrived or not they did offer ,somewhat of a plot. I wont give away here. Thus the 2 rating instead of a 1.Still this was very lame . Summertime on the Jersey Shores , has to be better than this.

I'm not going to lie. I hate reality television. I really do. Everyday, everywhere you turn, there's a new reality show on the horizon for obnoxious (mostly young) people who clearly don't deserve the attention they're getting on their own reality show, only to have them become tabloid fodder for the next several months after the show has faltered or been replaced by a new one. Everybody knows about Paris Hilton, the Kardashians (Khloe, not Kim, is one curvaceous Armenian-American bombshell, by the way), Kendra Wilkinson, the various "Love" shows on VH1, and now MTV has put out their latest: "Jersey Shore."

Seriously, what is our American culture coming to? Have we really been reduced to an "idiocracy"? According to Mike Judge's 2006 film, yes we have.

"Jersey Shore" became a huge hit when it debuted in December 2009, and also sparked a myriad of controversies stemming from its negative portrayal of eight Italian-American young people (according to Wikipedia, only five of the eight 20-somethings are actually of genuine Italian ancestry), who have a summer share on New Jersey's Seaside Heights community and thus bringing a lot of unwelcome notoriety to the area. These eight self-proclaimed "Guidos/Guidettes" (four Italian-American men and four Italian-American women) - alpha male Mike "The Situation," DJ Pauly D, Ronnie, Vinny (my personal "favorite," meaning he's the least annoying and he is essentially a nice, good guy who for the most part stays out of the worst trouble), Sammi "Sweetheart" (the only one of the cast members who is actually from New Jersey), Jenni "JWoww," Angelina "Jolie," and fan-favorite Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi - spend their summer on Jersey Shore partying, hooking up, tanning, drinking, fixing their hair (guys and girls both), clubbing, fighting, and engaging in every other form of debauchery known to man while also finding some time taking turns working in a boardwalk t-shirt store.

"Jersey Shore" is pretty atypical when it comes to reality television. The show is pure trash, pure unbridled trash. But like most guilty pleasure television, "Jersey Shore" keeps you watching no matter how much it goes against your better judgment, and however many brain cells you might kill by tuning in to watch new episodes every week. It's an instance in which you'll be watching it one minute, and then kicking yourself the next for doing so. The characters are typical reality show fodder: the alpha male, the entertainer, the bitch/drama queen, the slut, the troublemaker, the instigator, the stalwart nice hero guy - you get the point, because we've seen it all before. None of the characters are particularly likable or sympathetic (except for my "favorite," of course, Vinny), but they are engaging and have over-sized egos and personalities that have launched them into pop culture stardom, whether they are deserving of it or not.

In other words, they're here to stay, whether we like it or not...

MTV really outdid themselves with "Jersey Shore"; not only was the show a ratings success (as of now, a third season is already in the works), but it has become a bona-fide pop culture phenomenon complete with t-shirts, endorsements, and its own "Jersey Shore"-esquire lingo ("yo, that ugly chick in the jacuzzi's a 'grenade'"). Already, "The Situation" is set to gain $5 million by the end of the year in a planned autobiography book deal, a workout fitness routine, and various other endorsements. Ronnie was charged with aggravated assault stemming from an incident in which he knocked out a guy who had confronted him at a nightclub. And poor little "Snooki" was recently charged with annoying people on the beach while heavily intoxicated; and she also got her lights punched out by some guy at a bar during the first season (poor "Snooki" - she's got a big mouth, all right, but no one deserves to get hit like she did by a big drunken coward like she did, no matter how annoying she was being).

"Jersey Shore" is trash entertainment, purely. I'm addicted to this show now, I think, after having purchased the first season on DVD after scattered viewings on TV got my mouth watery for 20-something New Jersey-style antics and debauchery. I can't stop thinking or talking about it with people who care for it. Yes, sir, that's reality TV infamy for you, and it worked its magic on yet another poor soul who will be feeling very sorry for having watched it on an ultra-curious whim...