I Am Here... Now (2009) User Reviews

Huh? Oh....

[rebecca_rinehart · 3/10 · 19 August 2016]

Not to be a complete grammar snob, but I hope Neil Breen knows an ellipsis is three dots, not four.

So.... (Three dots) have you ever had a dream so awesome you felt like you should write it down and make a movie? Then, you tell a friend about it and they tell you it is a crap story? Well, I think Neil Breen had that dream but never let anyone scan over the story before making into a movie.

He DID improve upon his movie-making skills since Double Down. This film relied far less on royalty-free footage and music and actually seemed to include scenes filmed directly for the movie, not for a 3-2-1 Contact segment from 1981 as In his prior film.

On the other hand, my "compliment" is akin to saying that a kid's 4th grade art project is better than their 3rd grade art project. How someone can be so egotistical to write, star in, direct, produce, and even CATER their own movie is beyond my self-loathing comprehension. I, as a Midwestern middle class woman have the same access to equipment, money, software, and acting talent as Mr. Breen. Yet, I choose not to make a movie showcasing my mediocre talent. However, does that make me smart OR does that make Neil Breen brave. Only the viewer can decide...

Neil Breen Strikes Back

[saint_brett · 5/10 · 17 December 2019]

In most of Neil Breen's other movies he danced around the edges of being a deity but in this one he actually goes the whole hog and is a Jesus figure. Yes, you read right! He plays a hybrid robotic Terminator Jesus character called The Being believe it, or not. Don't take my word for it. Watch the movie and see for yourself. He unhooks himself from the cross; bleeds, has holes in both his palms and ankles but the only thing missing is the crown of thorns. The Being can also alternate into some other rubber masked effigy of that Iron Maiden Life After Death album cover character which shows up throughout the movie occasionally but serves no actual purpose? Neil Breen is off the hook, man! One of his opening lines is so fresh that not even ten of the best movie writers in Hollywood could come up with the following line if they all put their heads together. Quote, "Other planets I'VE created are doing well," End quote. The Being even emphasizes his universal strength throughout the movie by wielding unearthly powers with the wave of a hand like a Jedi using the force to freeze enemies like in a video game. (As human species we've got a case to answer for with the likes of Neil Breen representing us.) Wait a minute! The Being was a one-eyed monster from a horror movie back in 1983, wasn't it? (It delivered the best body shot to a human in any movie I've ever seen. Even better than Rocky. Knows how to box. Dude's not faking it.) There's some save-the-planet socialist agenda theme throughout the film but it doesn't blend in with the Terminator Jesus Being story line. Weren't people killed in Biblical times for claiming to be the son of God? Even Saint Nicholas killed someone in defense of Jesus according to Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas movie. (I've went there with his movie as well.) And yes, you read right again, Santa Claus himself killed a man eons ago. Watch Saving Christmas if you don't believe me. It's almost sacrilege what you're pulling here, Mr. Breen. Stick to playing alien characters from out of space it's more fitting. I Am Here...Now reaches no great heights like Double Down or Fateful Findings do. The actors seem stillborn in this movie. The baddies are laughable. There's no continuity whatsoever throughout the movie and the editing is so choppy it's like you're on the high seas. And I could be wrong but it's like they've just used the audition tapes in the final cut of the movie the acting's that amateurish? Story's as weak as a 40-pound featherweight boxer, I'm talking light Teflon nonsense here, people, not heavy handed The Being (1983) cruising for a bruising stuff. And it's almost a voyeuristic perve into a light blue movie at times with all the bra-less actresses who are off the hook as well. Me, personally, I've lost all faith in mainstream modern entertainment today and movies like I Am Here...Now and Saving Christmas are what I've been reduced to. Make no mistake though, Neil Breen commands close watching. He's going places. I can hear it now, "And the academy award for best male actor goes to - "

A challenging and thought-provoking film

[ONenslo · 2/10 · 6 March 2011]

Yes, it's a challenge just to sit through this crazy thing, and the thoughts it provokes are, What the hell? Why are there doll heads in the desert? Did that dolphin just poop? Do all the women in Las Vegas wear those spaghetti strap blouses with the two top buttons open to show their chests? Couldn't they get any actors for this? Why do they use the same scream over and over? What's with the monster mask? Why, why why am I watching this? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Writer, Producer and Director Neil Breen stars as a space Jesus who comes to Earth in a glass paperweight to check up on his failed experiment - humanity. The corrupt politicians and lying lawyers play out their efforts to hamper the development of sustainable energy systems in halting stilted monologues. Economic conditions force people into crime, dismemberment and depravity, and the space Jesus makes the bad guys bleed from their eyes for menacing a cancer patient in a wheelchair. I wouldn't be fool enough to compare this unique creation with anything else - it's created a whole new reality for itself. It's like a metaphor - FOR LIFE. I only hope we are ready when Neil Breen's glass paperweight returns once more to Earth.

The Supreme Breing saves us all!

[danielemerson · 8 November 2016]

One thing you can say about Neil Breen's film-making career is that he is gradually improving on the technical side of things. In a relative sense, at least.

This movie has a far less ambiguous morality than Breen's debut, 'Double Down'. There's a message here, and you really can't miss it. In fact, the message is the same as 'Birdemic', as it firmly gets behind behind renewable energy and protecting the environment. Many earnest speeches hammer this home, as do the baddies' conversations about how bad they are.

The Being (Breen) falls to earth in a paperweight, then manifests in the desert with stigmata and some circuit boards attached to his arms and chest. It is made clear that he created the earth and he is not at all happy about how it has turned out.

The movie follows the fortunes of various characters, whose lives are redeemed or punished by The Being's intervention. I won't give too much away, but there's some unconvincing screaming, several repeated scenes and lots of heavy symbolism. There is also lots of exposition and enough Breen-esque voice-overs to satisfy the faithful.

Neil Breen films are unique. Until you have seen one, you won't really get his unique vision. They are also a textbook showreel of getting it wrong that all film students should study.

An objectively terrible film.

[lordjjoliver · 1/10 · 9 January 2020]

This man should be arrested. Apparently it is too short to submit. So he should be arrested and sentenced to at least 10 years in prison.

Wow

[sime-arsov · 1/10 · 1 April 2023]

I haven't finish watching it, because I mean, who actually could? I gave it my best, but it's just...A lot of cringe. I bet even Neil throughout the first 20 minutes of previewing his final cut probably left and never finished watching it. Its just a literal waste of time. I like to watch low budget movies, but this feels like it was bad not on purpose and also on purpose...I feel like Neil genuinely believes that this is a real and serious movie, but hes not 100% sure. And that's a vibe I dont like, it's actually a bit terrifying and might be a sign of something being wrong with him. It feels like he hired some female actors just to paint a picture of him being able to get the ladies. Its something like a Steven Seagull vibe, but only worse and with less budget. I think this man might be delusional in real life as well, cos obviously he kept making similar movies afterwards with the same general message. And that is, that he a is a selfish, self-centered ego-maniac. Our art should represent who we are, and if it's not satire, which this one just isnt, then...What more do I need to say?

Everyone has to watch this

[nepimpeta · 10/10 · 21 December 2018]

This film, like every Neil Breen film, is a masterpiece. It makes no sense in any way, clips and sound effects are reused every two seconds, all six actors they could afford to hire are desperate to leave the screen, but still. But still.

There is something enchanting about watching this with friends and feeling the room go silent as everyone realizes this man just strapped RAM to his arms to signify being space mecha jesus. The same thing happens when everyone watches this man steal some clothes and make an old man with "chemocancer" young again. A lady in a spaghetti top is wheeling an obvious doll around, talking to her "twin" who looks nothing like her, and two seconds later she's touching knockoff Terry Crew's pecks. I want this movie to be my life.

So bad it is worthy of MST3K all 10 star reviews are jokes

[gfrancis0 · 1/10 · 2 April 2023]

First of all, any 10 star reviews are posted by some juvenile twit thinking it would be funny to trick someone into watching this piece of trash. This thing is so horribly and cheaply done it deserves a rating of about -25 stars. Everything is wrong with it, it is literally at a junior high school level, except the acting isn't quite up to that quality. I can't help but think that Breen inherited way too much money and gets his jollies out of wasting it making literally the most amateurish movies EVER made. There is no possible way this review could contain spoilers for this movie, as is is all completely putrid and stupid. It is like saying you could spoil a turd, you can't. It truly is difficult to quantify what a crap show this thing is, it reminds me of when SCTV or other sketch comedy shows would have a bit like Monster Chiller Horror Theater with some movie with terrible writing, acting, etc. The scary part is I think Breem is actually so crazy that he thinks he is making an actual movie worth watching, pretty pathetic to be that moronic.

👏BEST👏MOVIE👏EVER👏MADE👏

[thesmilingcatofcheshire · 10/10 · 21 April 2020]

I Am Here... Now is greatest movie since Neil Breen's last greatest achievement, Double Down. Seriously though, those movies are objectively bad, but they transcend their badness so much you have genuinely enjoyment during watching. Definitely watch this movie with friends and alcohol.

Movie itself is very fascinating psychic study of Neil Breen himself. His obvious God complex joined with very black-and-white looking at the world through the lenses of ideology - in every scene you have somebody obviously good or obviously bad, and good people are in exposition as environmental activists, and evil people are corrupted government officials (which they state themselves) who are blocking clean energy just to get more money. All of this is joined together with two women protagonists, from which one develops romantic and erotic interest with Neil Breen, without exchanging one word with him.

Neil Breen is creating a self-insert-Mary-Sue-protagonist fanfic, but he came much further than posting his work of art in form of text into the internet. He created series of developed movies with almost non-existent budget. It's really something. If you are into so-bad-it's-good cinema, you should give him a try.

I watched this with Sandy Peterson, and I hated it.

[bergmanst · 1/10 · 27 November 2022]

To try to sum up the plot, Robot Zombie Space Jesus comes back to earth and is disappointed that humans have been polluting the world. So he steals a couple's car and goes out to kill some business men.

The story itself is just a environmental message without anything to go around it, the acting is pretty awful, and the movie was shot on video, in 2009, when digital cameras had been around for years and were becoming much cheaper.

This film is like if the Lorax 1972 was even more in your face about the message, had terrible acting, and if the Lorax crucified the Once-ler and his family at the end of the movie.

Overall, if you have some friends over and you just want to watch a trashy movie, it may occupy you for a while but otherwise stay away from this movie.

I am Here...Now - Movie Review

[MattBrady099 · 10/10 · 24 July 2016]

Neil Breen plays a cyborg alien Jesus in this movie and that alone is quite something isn't it? I mean, the symbolism is just off the roof in this and Breen myself gets his message out very vividly.

The Being (Neil Breen) is disappointed by its creation, the almighty being that created Man arrives on Earth in a human form and interacts with various troubled, wicked and sinful people on his journey to Vegas.

I Am Here….Now is a work of sheer breenius. It's a breathtaking thrill ride with plenty of symbolism and brilliance from the Breen.

If you haven't check this out yet, please….do.

Not as good as The last temptation of Christ

[mauritsschelvis · 6/10 · 21 March 2024]

As soon as the movie starts we are left with all these questions. The director respects his audience enough to not just give the answers but to make them think knowing they are smart enough to figure it out for themselves.

The Being descends on earth to teach humanity a lesson or two. Lessons concerning drugs, gang violence, corruption and a disrespect for our environment.

Various techniques such as freezing people create a lively tableau vivant in which the main character moves and life itself comes to a standstill. In addition, there is brilliant foreshadowing that stimulates thoughts about the grandeur of existence.

When the movie finishes the viewers are left to wonder. What greatness did I witness? And where was this movie filmed?

the Jodorowsky of Idiots!

[GSK23 · 1/10 · 4 November 2022]

I love that one clown here calls anyone rating this less than 10/10 is an "imbecile" while misspelling "masterpiece" as "mastapiece"! I mean, unless they're being "ironic" or some such crap. No one, except third-rate 2Pac fanboys in 1998 use "a" to replace "er" ending on words. But, you know, whateves... (three dots there!)

Okay, the film: Uh, is there a film here? It's a scattershot mess. But, it's a gasssssssss if you are drunk of Boone's Farm Wine and just drank a full bong of used water because you're out of weed. It's amazing the stuff you can come up with when you have to write so many darned words!

Mastapiece

[smartademide · 10/10 · 8 June 2018]

This is another work of art from the legendary Neil Breen. Anyone who rated this movie, no this revolutionary work of art below a 10 is an imbecile. Words cannot describe this beauty and has to be seen to be believed.

Masterpiece

[ruolukas · 10/10 · 27 February 2018]

This movie is great. Neil breen is the cyborg God that created humanity. He's disappointed by his creation and how they threat each other. The dialogue is great, the soundtrack, the acting. Everything is perfect. Watch this movie, you won't regrets it.

All hail Lord Breen

[youngcollind · 9/10 · 20 December 2021]

This may sound hyperbolic, but I firmly believe that so-bad-it's-good may be the most difficult film style to pull off. There's a limited pool of movies that even classify for the genre, and when they happen, it seems almost by fluke. You could never make another Troll 2 or Room no matter how hard you tried. The fact that Neil Breen has been able to amass such a vast body of work without gaining any sense of self awareness is a small miracle.

Not all poorly made movies are this fun to watch either. It's just loaded with so many details that offer laugh potential in every scene. Some awful acting here, terrible dollar store props there, ridiculous and self indulgent plot developments everywhere. You should make yourself watch one of these every so often to fully appreciate just how hard film making actually is, and how much even the most mediocre, straight to Netflix garbage is actually getting right. When you see something as simple as sound editing getting screwed up, you realize just how much you've come to take for granted.

So far I'm three deep into the Breen filmography. This movie sort of pales in comparison to the undisputed masterpiece, Fateful Findings, but has a more satisfyingly coherent plot than Double Down. All three have their merits though, and I wouldn't recommend skipping any of them.

Very Bad, Yet Very Enjoyable

[budgeriguy · 6/10 · 18 October 2018]

Have you ever seen a movie and been like, This is a load of garbage. Well that is the same with I Am Here... Now. It is shot terribly the plot is convoluted and not well planned. But it has to be seen to be believed and believe it or not this is a film that can make you laugh, I highly recommend it and watch it with a friend, it makes the viewing experience way more fun!

Amazing movie!!!!!!

[Neil-breen-fan · 10/10 · 30 January 2021]

I love this amazing masterpiece!!! I love it!!! Great movie!!! 10/10

Breen has done it... Again!

[gundangirl · 10/10 · 24 March 2018]

Another Neil Breen classic. Watch this alongside Fateful Findings and Double Down for a delightfully delicious three Breen salad of entertainment!

Baby heads.

[admiraladama · 10/10 · 16 December 2018]

This film was Neil Breen's little joke at the expense of those who didn't "get" Double Down (2005), ie that the latter was a descent-into-madness tale told from the perspective of a character who was clearly delusional at the outset. So he portrays a literal deity here and expounds everything to us.

NOW.

[BandSAboutMovies · 7/10 · 23 August 2023]

An alien being from another universe who may be what we refer to as God has landed on Earth and is not happy with how the human race has created a world of greed, corruption, lies and violence, as well as how we've treated the environment. This being (Neil Breen, of course, who also did just about everything in this movie) decides that if the human experiment is to continue, he must destroy the politicians, lawyers, criminals, and corporate leaders who have been ruining his work.

Much of the start of the film is The Being yelling at a skull that he's found in the desert, angry at the folly of man. And to get to Earth, he descends in a giant crystal ball, covered in circuitry and when the devout view his - His? - face, they see something that looks like the monster in William Grefe's Death Curse of Tartu. There are also several baby doll heads buried in the ground.

Taking clothes from a suicidal drug addict, The Being walks closer and closer to civilization, if Las Vegas can be deemed that. He performs small miracles, like rescuing twin sisters Amber and Cindy (Joy Senn and Elizabeth Sekora) from being sex workers and calling the rich and powerful to task. There's also a gang of drug dealers who are so evil that they knock over the wheelchairs of cancer survivors, who helpfully tell us that "Chemo is kicking my ass!"

The wrong of this world will be crucified by a Space Jesus that has had enough of humanity, yet is still searching for goodness so that his experiment doesn't feel like it was a waste of time.

I remain fascinated by the movies that Breen makes. You could look at them - many people do this with all kinds of movies - and just decry them as horrible from atop a throne of self-importantness that you made for yourself. Or you can try to decipher what they're about and how someone could be so inspired to create them.

Perfect Film

[consuelohigdon · 10/10 · 22 June 2016]

I love this movie.

I have no idea what the names of the twin sisters are, but I am led to believe one is named Amber and one is named Cindy...? One wears a pink shirt and the other wears a white shirt. White shirt has a boyfriend who I assume is the Aron alluded to in the credits. All of the female characters wear the exact same shirt in different colors.

Neil Breen himself plays Alien Techno Zombie Jesus who created the planet Earth and is upset with humanity for not being good despite the fact that he has been completely neglecting all parts of the world outside of one area of Las Vegas, Nevada, as if Las Vegas is the center of human civilization on planet Earth.

No, not because of any technical skill. In fact the movie technically is a piece of garbage. But this film is quite possibly one of the most harmless and inoffensive films to watch with friends to laugh at. One of the most entertaining So Bad It's Good films ever.

The best Neil Breen film yet.

[Resurrectn · 10/10 · 7 February 2018]

I'm disappointed in your species, the human species.

This movie is awesome!!!!!!

[tytunckollu · 10/10 · 7 August 2017]

Neil Breen is back at it again with another awesome movie that you will enjoy thoroughly. Go grab your buddies, fill your beer pints and enjoy this masterpiece.

Neil Breen returns as a cyber-super-mega God (?) in this movie. He is excellent throughout and he helps the world while it tries to become a better place. With scenes that will give you the biggest laughs you will ever experience, excellent dialogue and a mind- boggling plot, this movie remains as my favorite Neil Breen work to this day. With a Birdemic like message, this movie teaches you how to interact with the earth, nature and the others around you. Aside from the message, the hilariously cut scenes made this movie hell of a lot better in my opinion. (The pool scene, the gang scene). Don't take this movie seriously, it's a lot of fun when you think of it as one of the Best-worst movies of all time. This movie is sure to bring joy to your heart and soul.

Neil Breen is an aspiring filmmaker and he really is trying to do something that he enjoys, and I really respect that. He funds his own movies, he plays the lead characters and he pretty much does all the work and he is awesome!

Cinematic Masterpiece

[christianmurphy-65775 · 10/10 · 12 June 2021]

This movie is a work of art and I recommend it to everyone reading this. Stop what you're doing and watch this amazing movie. 10/10.