- Leslie Knope: Hi Marci.
- Marci: Leslie! Are they finally teaching your parks department how to read?
- [laughs]
- Marci: Oh, I guess not! It's a movie.
- Leslie Knope: You're pretty cocky for someone who's job is obsolete because of the Internet.
- [Leslie and Marci laugh]
- Marci: Let's see. Hmm. You seem to have a forty dollar late fee on a book called MYSTERIES OF THE FEMALE ORGASM.
- Leslie Knope: NO I DON'T!
- Marci: Yeah, you do.
- Leslie Knope: Ann, grab the movie!
- [Leslie pushes books off the counter; Ann and Leslie run off]
- Leslie Knope: Go! Go! Go! Go! Punk-ass book jockeys!
- [Leslie pushes a cart of books over]
- Ron Swanson: Leslie needs to butt out. The whole point of this country is if you wanna eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so! To me, that's beautiful.
- Ann Perkins: Any questions?
- Man #1: If sugar is so bad, how come Jesus made it taste so good?
- Woman: But isn't all food bad for you? I've been eating lasagna and muffins every day of my life for 40 years and I feel terrible.
- Ann Perkins: Great.
- Man #2: What's so bad about corn syrup? It's natural. Corn's a fruit. Syrup comes from a bush.
- Ann Perkins: Oh, boy.
- April Ludgate: [everybody's eating the Nutriyums bar] Oh my god, they're amazing.
- Jerry Gergich: They are more than amazing. They are terrific.
- April Ludgate: Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry.
- Jerry Gergich: No, but it's not less.