Community (TV Series)
Politics of Human Sexuality (2009)
Jim Rash: Dean Pelton
Photos
Quotes
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Dean Pelton : Isn't it great? Greendale is the latest campus to catch a case of *public health fever*.
Britta Perry : You know the toilets in the women's bathrooms don't have seats, right?
Dean Pelton : Because they keep getting stolen. Sabrina, take a note. I want hidden cameras in every stall.
Britta Perry : Problem solved.
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Dean Pelton : Okay, I'm just gonna turn him around and we're gonna cover him up. Okay, ladies, I am shocked at the reverse Porky's that has happened here.
Britta Perry : I don't see what the big deal is. Annie needed to look at the model of the pen...
Dean Pelton : Okay, the P-word has entered into play. That's exactly why I wanted Gayle, our school counselor here, and Monique, who's keeping record, to ensure we discuss these sensitive topics in a legally appropriate manner.
Gail the School Counselor : I think everyone should say "penis" so we can take away the negative power of the word, yeah? So everybody.
Dean Pelton , Gail the School Counselor , Officer Cackowski , Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett : Penis.
Officer Cackowski : [pointing at Annie] She didn't say it.
Dean Pelton : Now why did you break in to see the penis? Wow, I really do feel more comfortable saying that now, Gayle.
Gail the School Counselor : I just wanna focus on the girl who won't say "penis."
[Annie visually surveys the room while breathing heavy]
Gail the School Counselor : This is a judgment-free zone, so express yourself.
Annie Edison : You know what? I don't want to express myself. I don't wanna sit in a room full of people and say
[quieter voice]
Annie Edison : the P-word.
[returns to normal voice]
Annie Edison : I like being repressed. I am totally comfortable being uncomfortable with my sexuality. And maybe, just maybe, if everyone were a little more like me, we wouldn't have to have an STD fair.
Britta Perry : You go, girl.
Shirley Bennett : That's my pumpkin. Mm-hm.
Annie Edison : By the way, now that I've gotten a good look at one, I don't see what all the fuss was about. A giant thumb in a turtleneck.
[yells]
Annie Edison : Whoop-dee-doo!
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Dean Pelton : A *laser*. Well, this isn't going to be your mother's sexually transmitted disease awareness fair.
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Dean Pelton : I had no idea alcohol would make people horny. Makes me sleepy.
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Dean Pelton : And it's all thanks to you.
Annie Edison : I was voted "most likely to succeed" at my rehab clinic.
Dean Pelton : Well, in recognition of all your hard work, I have decided that you should conduct the condom demonstration. You're gonna be center stage showing everyone how to put a condom on a, uh... well, what my dad called a Jimmy Carter.
Annie Edison : Um, I don't know if I'm the right person for that.
Dean Pelton : Don't worry. Not a real one. No, it's an anatomically correct model, you know. But trust me, eyes closed, you can't tell the difference. Mmm. Okay.