- King Julien: Hello, friendly penguins! Eh, I was wondering if you could make this melon split open for me.
- Skipper: Rico, slice.
- [Rico spits out a knife and hacks the melon in two with it]
- Skipper: There you go, Ringtail. Service with a psycho smile.
- King Julien: No one loves me!
- Skipper: Oh, now that's not...
- King Julien: ...as much as *I* love me.
- Skipper: Oh. Well, that is true.
- King Julien: Time for party games. I will start by making balloon animals.
- [Blows up long balloon]
- King Julien: This one is an earthworm.
- [Blows up another one]
- King Julien: Tapeworm.
- [Blows up a third]
- King Julien: And here is a hookworm.
- [Balloon deflates]
- King Julien: Make that a flatworm.
- King Julien: Excuse me, little froggy. I believe you are a little confussed. I am the one who is telling the other animals what to do.
- Barry: Oh?
- King Julien: Yes. That is because I am king. However, you can apply for an internship.
- Maurice: We are currently accepting applications for the spring semester.
- [Hands Barry a form]
- King Julien: But until you are properly internalized, you must cease the bossing around.
- Barry: Oh, really? Cease this!
- Private: What are we going to do, Skipper?
- Skipper: Kowalski has been working on a little top secret project. It's untested, maybe even dangerous.
- [Starts pushing a series of complicated controls]
- Skipper: Prepare yourself for what you are about to see, Private.
- [Pushes one last button, a platform appears in the middle of the room]
- Private: Skipper, is that...?
- Skipper: That's right. A six-foot long whacking stick. Barry won't know what hit him.
- Private: Skipper, isn't there a less violent solution?
- Skipper: Probably, but I wanna see what this baby can do.
- Barry: [Private appears wearing a metal suit] It's time you and I got... in touch. Take this!
- [Jumps at Private; nothing happened]
- Barry: And this!
- [Jumps Private again]
- Barry: Huh? I can't...
- Private: You can't touch me, but I can touch you.
- Barry: No! Get away from me!
- [Private shoots a suction cup dart at Barry and reels him in]
- Private: Now I'm going to do something no one has ever done to you before.
- Barry: No!
- Private: Give you a big hug!
- Barry: Uh... what?
- Private: I'd be a grumpy gus too if no one ever hugged me.
- Barry: Hum. This hugging is nice. Maybe a hug is all I really needed... or maybe I'm just a big jerk who likes to bully other animals.
- Private: Oh, well in that case, I can just pop you like a grape.
- Barry: No, no! Hugging's fine! Actually, I'm liking the hug.
- Skipper: [Recuperating from the poison] Sound off, Kowalski.
- Kowalski: I can taste sound. But that's over now.
- Skipper: Rico?
- [Rico moans]
- Barry: [Playing checkers with Private, who's still wearing the metal suit] King me!
- Skipper: Is everyone else seeing a poisonous frog playing checkers with a robot penguin?
- Rico: Uh-huh!
- Skipper: Right. Back on the rack, men.
- King Julien: Are you going to pummel Barry until he's all squishy?
- Skipper: That's the general idea.
- King Julien: Yes! I'm King Julien, and I approve this plan.
- Private: How can we touch someone who's untouchable?
- King Julien: It is a riddle, like which do you eat first, the chicken or the egg? I say the eggs, because they are breakfast foods.
- Maurice: That's not the way it goes.
- King Julien: So you're saying the chicken first? It does make a nice base for the eggs.
- King Julien: This half of the kingdom is for me and my king things, and that half is for you two.
- Maurice: This is much less than half!
- Mort: I like it.
- King Julien: Of course it's smaller. There is only one of me and two of you.
- Maurice: That means we should have more and you should have less.
- King Julien: The king never has less. That's the law.
- Barry: My name is Barry, and you all work for me now. Everyone. You do everyting I say when I say it.
- Marlene: Oh, have you ever heard a more adorable tirade? I just wanna scoop him up and give him a great big hug!
- Barry: Trust me, lady, I'm not the hugging type. I'm more the do-what-I-say-or-I'll-ruin-your-life type.
- Skipper: Oh, really, little hoppy? And how are you gonna do that?
- Barry: Oh, like this.
- [Touches Rico, who seizes up, sprouts little green bumps, and falls unconscious]
- Barry: [laughs] Oh, that never gets old! That never gets old!
- King Julien: Make way for the party king, man!
- Bada: Hold on there, chief. We have to see if you're on the list.
- Bing: There's no Party King on the list.
- Bada: Wait, I have a King Julien on the list.
- King Julien: Yes, that is me!
- Bada: Yeah, you're on the "absolutely not a guest" list.
- King Julien: Maurice, the zoo is full of many fantastical things. Did you know, for instance, free gum under all the seats? Watch, I'm going to blow a bubble.
- [Tries to blow bubble, but accidentally spits out gum into Maurice's face]
- King Julien: You can keep that.