How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Playbook (2009)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marshall Eriksen : So Robin, do you have a playbook?

  Robin Scherbatsky : [motions at breasts]  Two volumes, right here.

  Ted Mosby : I've read them, it's a good read.

  Lily Aldrin : Yeah, I'm reading them right now.

• Barney Stinson : Every woman in New York! Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers lock up your daughters, daughters lock up your MILSWANCA.

  Marshall Eriksen : MILSWANCA?

  Ted Mosby : Oh I got it, Mothers I Like To Sleep With And Never Call Again

  Barney Stinson : Correct! Circle gets a square.

• Robin Scherbatsky : All right, I'm gonna get the paper.

  Ted Mosby : More like go get a husband.

  Marshall Eriksen : Totally.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Okay, you guys, just stop that. Seriously, the last thing I'm looking for right now is a relationship.

  Ted Mosby : Uh-huh. When you pick up the newspaper, be sure to check the wedding announcements. For yours!

  Marshall Eriksen : Robin, it's like this. Do you know how many times in my life I've gone to the freezer looking for frozen waffles and not found them?

  Robin Scherbatsky : Thousands?

  Marshall Eriksen : Millions. But when I go to the freezer looking for a popsicle or the remote control because Lily and I are having a fight and she's hidden it there, do you know what I find? Frozen waffles. That's how it works. You go out there looking for a paper, you're coming back with frozen waffles. And in this case, frozen waffles is a guy. Also, could you pick up some frozen waffles? In that case, frozen waffles are frozen waffles.

• Lily Aldrin : Can you believe that? He blames me! Oh, and by the way, Ted, I bet she'd still go out with you.

  Ted Mosby : Hm. Let me think. Do I wanna go out with a girl Barney hooked up with? Guys, help me out with the harmonies?

  Marshall Eriksen : Sure.

  Ted Mosby : Hell no...

  Robin Scherbatsky : Hell no...

  Marshall Eriksen : Hell no...

  Claire : Hell no...

• Ted Mosby : Say what you will, but it's a law of nature.

  Marshall Eriksen : Lawyered!... of nature.

• Ted Mosby : [talks to a woman]  I'll give you a call. Bye, bye.

  [she leaves, and Ted goes back to the others] 

  Ted Mosby : For those of you keeping score, the Ted Mosby... works!